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Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 02:47AM

I remember back in the day, during the Summers, and all of the farmers would pray for rain. I understand the need for rain, and hence why they felt the need to pray for it. But when it didn't rain for weeks, the leaders blamed it on their lack of faith. But, then by golly, it would rain and it was all because of the prayers. Using this as an example, any prayer will eventually be answered if you wait long enough, right?

Back when I was still submerged in the cesspool of mormonism, I prayed mightily for help in finding a job. Days turned to weeks. After a month and a half I did find a job. Was that an answer to a prayer? Or persistence on my part? Yeah, gawd got the credit even though it took him six freaking weeks.

I am a non-believer in answered prayer, period. Prayers uttered with the upmost sincerity could be answered right away or could be answered years down the road. How long does a prayer stay fertile? Do prayers have expiration dates?

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 07:44AM

Nope. Every year, you have to throw a fresh virgin into the volcano. And then God only knows when the answer is going to come. Car keys usually turn up quickly.

"We pray for more rain for and in behalf of all the farmers/golfers/gardeners/trees/ducks who need more, and less rain for and in behalf of all thine creatures, levees, and bridges that need less, for this and all future years up to thine divine best-by date."

You'd think that would cover it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2019 07:46AM by Brother Of Jerry.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:46PM

Haha. Yes. And always, after you ask for what you want, add the disclaimer: "Thy will be done." That way anything can be an answer!

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 08:40AM

My prayers last longer than your prayers because god doesn't like you as much.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 09:04AM

My favorite way that the über-righteous make prayers righteously long, is by tacking impressively long strings of adjectives before the opening mention of "Heavenly Father". You've all heard it.

"our most kind, gracious, loving, eternal, yada yada yada yada Heavenly Father...". I've heard a few that should have been submitted to the Guinness Book of Records.

These same people often have this Mormon sing-songy prayer voice that sounds for all the world like an exasperated 14 year old annoyed that she/he has to explain something to their parent. Unlike the General Conference talk voice, the prayer voice seems to speed up and slow down and/or go up and down in volume, sometimes quite dramatically, like someone starting to breathe after a sleep apnea pause.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:00PM

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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> My favorite way that the über-righteous make prayers righteously long, is by tacking impressively long strings of adjectives...


Hahahahah! I noticed this and it was directly correlated to the presence of a female member they were trying to impress.

I started becoming cynical pretty fast as you can tell.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 09:59AM

They don't work so it's a moot point.

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Posted by: Razortooth ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 10:40AM

Try carrying a rabbit's foot instead. Less time consuming, easier on the knees, and the result is identical.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:01PM

Razortooth Wrote:
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> Try carrying a rabbit's foot instead. Less time consuming, easier on the knees, and the result is identical.

Also cheaper, a one-time purchase as opposed to continual tithing demands.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 11:06AM

They expire the instant they form in your mind.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 12:03PM

sunbeep Wrote:
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> Do prayers have expiration dates?

How could they if God is the same yesterday, today, and forever?

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 05:15PM

You mean he's still a narcissistic, bipolar, absentee parent?

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 12:51PM

Wouldn't it depend on what you are praying for and the nature of the prayer itself?

"My God, My God, I pray that these things never end,
The sand and the sea,
The rustle of the waters,
Lightning of the Heavens,
The prayer of Man.

The voice called, and I went.
I went, because the voice called."

'Eli, Eli' Hannah Senesh



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2019 12:51PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: dogblogger ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:29PM

According to the press prayers are now powerless if a firearm was involved. "thoughts and prayers" are no longer a sufficient response.

So I suppose that sets some limit on prayer.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2019 04:29PM by dogblogger.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:34PM

Years ago I knew a TBM that prayed everytime he left the house. We carpooled for a while.

One day I went to pick him up and saw him praying through the screen door. He ran out to the car and forgot his briefcase.

He ran back inside to get it. Then I saw him stop at the door and pray again.

When I asked him about it he said he had entered his house and had to pray again as he left. Apparently entering the house two minutes after he left it cancelled the previous prayer and he had to start over.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 10:16PM

That's a thoughtful way for him to remember to pray as he's leaving the house.

My reminder is when I'm in the car as I'm leaving the house and driving away. I start each day with the Lord's Prayer.

My Third Grade teacher started every school day with her class reciting the Lord's Prayer. Then each student, along with our teacher, had a silent moment of personal prayer &/or reflection.

Because of her, I've continued that practice throughout my adult life.

She loved all her students, but for some reason she drew me out and it was maybe the only year I recall of my grade school years I was teacher's pet. She took me under her wing, like a mother. I didn't get much mothering at home, and perhaps that is why.

I remember her choosing me to play Mary in the Christmas play that year (it was a stage production held at the local high school.) I got to wear not one, but two exquisite costume robes for the play, as I sat on the stage next to Joseph holding baby Jesus, next to the paper mache' donkey lolol.

All the kids were in costume but I had, other than baby Jesus which was a doll, the starring role. And I felt enchanted for the first time maybe in my little girl life.

She told me she picked me because I was the most Jewish looking child of all her students. With all those blonde, blue-eyed kids as my peers, there is no doubt that I was. I was a freckled, skinny long brown haired nine-year old with a very curious mind.

Funny how much one person can shape lives for good. She was that kind of a teacher.

What was even more telling to me was when my parents told me after a parent-teacher conference (or maybe at a ward meeting because we went to the same ward,) that I had the makings of a brain surgeon. And that someday I would be a great leader of TSCC.

If only she could see me now! If she's looking down from heaven, because that's where good souls would be, she'd still be smiling on her student. I didn't become a brain surgeon. But I turned out alright. :)

As for that "great leader of TSCC?" Well, if I can help people in TSCC find "the light," by finding their way out, wouldn't that be great?!

I hope so.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2019 10:22PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Jimbo ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 05:47PM

if you,went to 3 rd grade in a public school after 1963 what the teacher did was not appropriate or perhaps even illegal . Thank goodness teacher led school prayer is now a thing of the past in tax payer financed public schools .

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Posted by: Jimbo ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 05:53PM

I would also want a moment of science ( a whole big bunch of them actually) instead of a moment of silence .if you live in the USA the Constitution has an Establisment Clause for very good reasons . mainly we are not by any means a theocracy

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 29, 2019 11:34AM

My third grade teacher was flouting the law against praying in school because the year was 67-68. It was the Morridor, and nobody, repeat nobody dared to stop her. She was a force to be reckoned with.

She was a great teacher too, with a heart filled with compassion.

Of all the grade school teachers I recall from my grammar school days, she brought out the best and inspired her students (the most) because she herself was a highly gifted and most remarkable teacher.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2019 11:39AM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 02:35PM

Did he also pray each time he left his room?

Ere you left your room This morning...

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 04:51PM

The prayers in my family are such long sermons that there is more chance of the prayer giver expiring first.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 06:42PM

Not if you buy the extended warranty.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 06:50PM

Ironically, And there is a group selling those as we speak, haha.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 26, 2019 09:13PM

"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers." Oscar Wilde

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Posted by: mikemitchell ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 02:17PM

"How long does a prayer stay fertile? Do prayers have expiration dates?"

Like giving a dinner blessing again on yesterday's leftovers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2019 02:17PM by mikemitchell.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 08:40PM

Have you ever thought to ask for a raincheck ?

Being open to renegotiation is key !

Prayers can be petitions, requests, prayers of gratitude, or just simply talking to God. Like Tevya does in Fiddler on the Roof. If I were as skilled @ the art of prayer as well as he is, I'd be a master. Hence, why I aren't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckJEYoKEUoE

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 03:49PM

than I did about that. Glad my prayer wasn't answered.

My dad was a farmer and he used to ask me to wash my car so it would rain. He didn't tell me to pray about it.

What about whoever in the bofm who prayed all day or however long it was? I used to think that if I prayed that long, then my ex would become straight or at least want me or maybe I'd just find a real answer. I'd fall asleep on my knees every night.

I hate flowery prayers. The most sincere prayer I ever heard in my life was a short plea to God at the funeral of my grandfather. I had a bishop tell me to practice praying because I refused to pray at church. I told him no. I quit praying in front of people when I was in my teens or earlier.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 06:01PM

Little known fact: A prayer, once said, has a half-life of one minute, making it senseless to pray. Do not be senseless.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 06:09PM

Unless of course your bed is made of memory foam.

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