I was invited to a friend’s house for a party she is hosting...her son is going on a mission to “serve the people of Taipei”. So how much of the mission is service projects and how much is trying to get people to convert? Are they actually building schools and housing and feeding people in need? I am skeptical. Shr has sent missionaries to my house twice, although she knows I already attend a Protestant church (which I think is so weird!)

No, they don't generally "serve" the people in any practical way relating to things like food, shelter, financial assistance.

In their minds, they "serve" by providing truth, enlightenment and an opportunity to get on the correct path back to god. It's all religious gobbledygook of course. Nothing you can eat and nothing that will cure your ringworm or make your dandruff condition go away.

Kind of like the politicians who constantly refer to themselves as "public servants" while basically inverting reality to the point that the public is forced to serve the politician.

I guess the range of meanings associated with the word "serve" is broad enough to include the meaning used by Mormon missionaries. Most other religious clergy use the word "serve" to refer to what they do, even if it's just preaching and taking confessions and the like. So Mormons aren't coming up with a completely novel application of the word.

"Kind of like the politicians who constantly refer to themselves as "public servants" while basically inverting reality to the point that the public is forced to serve the politician."


Best analogy ever.

She's sent missionaries to your house twice, and in her mind that qualifies as "service."

Her son will be "serving" the people of Taiwan by bringing them the wonderful mormon gospel message, that their families *can only* be together forever by obeying the mormon "prophet" and paying the mormon church 10% of their income for life. Oh yeah, and giving up tea, although there have recently been rumors that mormon god may be changing his mind on that soon.

that will be solid evidence in support of a secret hypothesis that I've been holding on to: Wendy is the reincarnation of Emma...and she's back for some revenge and satisfaction.

It's not conclusive yet.

But when they tear out the Joseph half of the Joseph and Emma memorial on Temple square, it'll be close to 99% certain.

(Incidentally, it could be that Nelson is the reincarnation of William Law.... William Law was a physician and surgeon, so, uh-huh...might be on to something, right? I think William Law wanted a little revenge and satisfaction too. Lots of unfinished business.)

I would personally buy her a gas-powered metal cut-off saw.

Periodically they do service projects, but it is mostly about selling Mormon, Inc.

Don't let the missionaries in - once you let in the camel into the tent, you'll get the whole camel (meaning they'll never leave you alone).

Don't buy the false friendliness. They're just trying to get you to join and start paying tithes.

Just be true to yourself and don't feel pressured into anything.

For me it was mostly door-to-door selling. After my first couple transfers I was a senior and then we did as many service-related things as possible, but really just as an excuse to wear jeans and t-shirts and push a lawnmower for a couple hours.

Felt like a vacation compared to knocking on doors, especially where I was.

Mormons love to customize words to suit their purposes.

Know means believe.

Love means judge.

And, Serve, means pushy. Also see, inappropriate, arrogant, and obnoxious.



Sunbeam means dupe. Not kidding.

And "sweet spirit" means ugly chick.

Actually, lately, Serve for missionaries really means "servitude" for many.

"a condition in which one lacks liberty especially to determine one's course of action or way of life."

How many gut it through a mission for the honor of their parents?

The mission is basically Ford selling Edsel. I offer the following for drawing parallels:


"Car buyers didn't purchase the Edsel, because it was a bad or ugly car. They didn't buy it because it didn't live up to the expectations the company created in the prior months with the epic advertising campaign. So actually the first failure occurred for the Ford Edsel before anyone even saw the automobile."

Arrogance and Ignorance are not great selling tools and claiming to be the only ones going to heaven is over-selling at its best.

Well--mostly not.

We did some community service activities each week during most of my mission. I'm still look back fondly on those experiences, since they were fun and worthwhile.

We helped restore an old ship for sea scouts, went on walks with severely disabled people, worked at a city zoo, played games at a senior care center. This is about the only stuff from my mission that I don't regret. During the last 5 or 6 months of my mission, our Mission President in his ugh...wisdom...decided to nix community service. That was the one time on my mission that I repeatedly voiced dissent to the Zone Leader about the decision.

This was Germany and frankly we would have done more for the Church as an institution, if we had found ways to use about 80% of our time doing these types of service as opposed to going door to door we might have been viewed more favorably there. What did they get for the success of knocking every door in the country down? The missions in the country have been consolidated. Oops!

I'm not saying this to give them advice or say if only the church had been run better I would have stayed--by no means. The point is that a mission president's "inspired" decision du jour isn't worth Shiz's head.

Well, they do serve as a novelty or comic relief to amuse the people of the area.

Or maybe as a mangy dog coming down the street that wants to jump on everybody, and although everyone feels sorry for the poor fellow, no one wants to get close to it.

So you just had to bring up my high school dating history!!

But then being an RM at the Y made up for it, except for the part about getting married. When it came to that, I didn't even have to ask.