when U discover a Serious mistake that has long-lasting implications in someone you love...

a family member such as parent or sib, etc. A serious disappointment...


Is it best to engage or ignore?


(please avoid saying 'it depends', that's little value)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2019 11:46PM by GNPE.

try jesus OPie ~

https://youtu.be/HMzZYkEGywI?list=PLMdRLqaXxozoRDu47nzyO_wJeqOh7ihSj

ziller Wrote:
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> try jesus OPie ~
>
> https://youtu.be/HMzZYkEGywI?list=PLMdRLqaXxozoRDu
> 47nzyO_wJeqOh7ihSj

Every time this recommendation appears, I am thankful.

Although Yoda would not agreed, it is worthwhile to 'try Jesus'.

GNPE Wrote:
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> (please avoid saying 'it depends', that's little
> value)

If you ask a vague question, then don't be upset if you get a vague answer.

I would have to ask myself what will be gained by engaging? Will it hurt them that I know? I generally like clarity and honesty, but sometimes it's expensive.

GNPE Wrote:
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> Is it best to engage or ignore?

Ignore. Every time.

Would Oprah and therapists and gossip mongers and counselors and arm chair analysts and Instagrammers and selfie-addicts and diagnose-insurance-will pays and wino grannies and check-yes-or-no teenage slanderers agree?

NO.

But I'm telling you: You will never regret Ignore.

You will regret Engage.

Guaranteed.

Someone once told me to ask yourself.. What do you expect the other person to do with 'news' you want to tell them?.. Is there a reason you should/need to tell them?.. Are you expecting a certain answer/reaction from them?.. Is there anything they can do about/with the information?..

hth

Ask yourself, what would be gained by engaging? Are you in a position to give this person material help? If not, and if the mistake does not concern you directly, ignore.

this is a matter of family relationships, family feelings.

Family is more important to me than to ChurchCo, that's for sure.

"Long lasting implications" insinuates that someone is going to get hurt although your set-up is vague.

My guess is you want to engage. How you engage is more important than whether to do so. Nobody likes a "sticky beak."

Usually in a touchy situation you can get by with just asking innocent questions that may lead the person to consider consequences on their own without actually giving your own opinion or own advice which will not be welcome. People saying they want advice only really want commiseration usually. Just show you care as a way to highlight what may not be obvious to the other. An innocent question is just that.

Most of the wise replies here seem to be about protecting you so they kind of go for ignore, but, this seems like it is something that you feel you need to act on, and you seem willing to risk the obvious dangers. So, good luck whichever way you go.