Posted by:
elderolddog
(
)
Date: April 19, 2019 04:29PM
The following is a joke. It's a very old joke. I first heard this when I was a theist, and I laughed and groaned. Like most jokes, it relies on catching the listener completely off guard with its punch line.
If you are easily offended by jokes at the expense of divine beings, you shouldn't read this. But because today is the anniversary of Jesus dying on the cross, it is relevant.
...The day that Jesus died.
Also the day, per mormonism, that he 'paid' for all our sins, with the agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. We all caused him to suffer...all those cars I stole! And he paid the price.
Here's a little known story about the crucifixion that did not make the final cut. Think about this as the day winds down.
When Jesus was nailed to his cross, and the cross raised to its position between the two thieves, there at the top of the hill, he languished in pain for a while, but then roused himself to speak to one of the Roman soldiers, "Please ask Peter to come up to me..." One of the soldiers, more tender-hearted than the others (or moved upon by the Holy McGhost) sent a lad down to the crowd at the foot of the hill, with instructions to seek out Peter and to relay the message.
When Peter heard the young lad calling out, and knowing what the message probably was, Peter hid. The other apostles tried to get him to speak to the lad, but Peter refused. The lad returned to the top of the hill to tell the soldier what had happened and the soldier laughingly told Jesus that Peter didn't want to see him.
Jesus let some time pass and then again called out the same request. Now all the other soldiers took an interest and one of them was selected to go down to the crowd to seek out the Peter with whom the Jewish Messiah wished to speak.
But the messenger-soldier ended up drawing the same blank, because Peter refused to speak up, despite all the urgings of his fellows, and the Marys, etc. He was too afraid!
The soldier returned to the top of the hill and relayed the total lack of any response from Peter to the Lord and to all the soldiers and they had a grand old time taunting Christ.
Then after a long night, and just before the cock would crow, Jesus gasped out a final request, that Peter be summoned. All the soldiers were tired, but one of them rose up and went down to the still assembled crowd and calmly announced that their King's end was near and that he had again asked that Peter be summoned. This time Peter found the courage to respond, "I am Peter!"
Peter accompanied the soldier to the top of the hill, and they found Jesus slumped down, his arms looking painfully stretched, and his eyes closed... "Master, it is me, Peter. What do you desire?"
The Messiah's eyes opened and after confusedly looking about for a few seconds finally focused on Peter.
"Oh, hi, Peter! Guess what? I can see your house from here!"