It depends on the individual, IMO. Some people are more prone to psychological injury than others, some have circumstances (ie generational LDS family) that also may make them more prone (identity crisis when they discover it's fraudulent.
Clearly from being here on RfM for decades, I have seen people who have been very injured by Mormonism. Others, like myself, who had been a convert. Not so much.
It did take me awhile to undo the "Mormon think" patterns, but I wasn't really traumatize by Mormonism. In fact, living the WoW was very influencial in protecting me against becoming an alcoholic. When I finally did start drinking socially, I was in my 30's and much more mature than when my siblings started in their teens. They ended up with problems with booze. I did not
So, it really depends, and is not black and white. Which, I may add, is also very "Mormon think" thinking pattern for many
I’m referring more to childhood development. When your brain is wired for guilt and reinforced through guilt-based sexual repression. It’s more a brain wiring problem than a defective thinking problem. More primal.
I saw people who seemed very suggestible in that as a convert I would say something and they would take it in as truth. I felt they did not critically weigh inputs. And I felt that was a result of childhoods being told to memorize and believe without question. So yes I think it could be a type of PTSD.
(a) undergoes a traumatic experience that is a threat to their life/safety or any experience that is perceived as such a threat, or witnesses a serious life-threatening trauma occur to others
(b) has negative consequences that occur for more than 6 months after the traumatic event.
PTSD can occur in a wide variety of contexts. I doubt that LDS upbringing IN GENERAL causes PTSD (a quick look at the research shows the Morridor has no higher PTSD rate than average for the USA). But it's certainly plausible someone could be traumatized by elements of their particular LDS experience.
I told my husband (if you haven't read it, but I'm sure you have, who is gay) before I married him that if he chose to do this, that he could never leave me, as I wouldn't handle it well emotionally. I actually held together pretty damn good considering I'm still walking around and he lives downstairs and we get along now. I raised my 2 kids, worked 2 jobs at home, and hung onto the house that we both signed a mortgage for without child support or alimony as I didn't divorce him. I didn't divorce him at the time because I didn't have the emotional energy to do so.
My THERAPIST (there it is) told me to decide if I was going to divorce him or not during one session and that evening, my husband did something that made me realize I couldn't do it. He was so abusive to me that I lived in fear of everything including the stupid automatic teller when I'd call the bank. I'd think she was angry at me by her tone of voice.
Without therapy, I don't know how I could have made it to this point. It wasn't just my ex either, though, it was the leaders and how they handled me when I found out he is gay (before we married). It was also the bishops who questioned me about sex. I always knew if I did anything I had to repent for to a bishop, that I'd have to commit suicide. I could not even imagine talking to an old guy about sex TO THIS DAY.
The leaders did a job on me. I just realized in the last year or two that one of the many reasons I married my ex, but maybe one of the biggest reasons, was to get the damn leaders out of my life as they were destroying me. I never talked to leaders again about the issue--I didn't allow my husband to either. I didn't go to even tithing settlement. I still avoid mormon men.
I was very much traumatized by mormonism and I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I just went through 2 episodes of PTSD after my daughter's temple marriage and then when the church changed their stance on children of gays again. I can't go see my therapist right now because of insurance reasons (a few more weeks). He knows how to help me make sense of why I'm reacting like I do. The e-mail I posted here from my aunt after my daughter's TM really sent me into a tailspin.
I think that the biggest traumatizing injury from the mormon church comes from their lack of accountability and responsibility for their own actions. If I can't sit in front of a mormon church leader and aire my grievances that were caused by church leader abusive treatment, and have them listen and act appropriately, there is a problem. Someone who represents the church and who has power from within the church to implement change in policies needs to tell me "oh my gosh, that is terrible. We are so sorry that our organization did that to you. Here are the changes that we are going to make so that this never happens to anyone else in the future...". Of course, this will never happen in the mormon church. As long as they want to fuck things up in the name of God, it is imperative for people like me to point out to the world, just how messed-up the whole mormon culture and social infrastructure actually is. I don't want any of their money, although I would like to see them suffer financial losses in general. But they owe myself and many others a heartfelt apology, and a commitment to make changes that prevent the same future abuses against others from occurring. All they have to offer is their own narcissism and their commitment to not be accountable for their own actions and in many cases, inaction. As long as they maintain that course, the so-called bretheren are enemies of society and of common decency.
They set up a double bind to turn your own psyche against you. It may not be “traumatic”, but it hoses your brain at a deep level. And then they blame it on you. Classic victim blaming. It’s not you, it’s them. That was my first realization.
It was my turn to be an apostate and what do you know, it wasn’t my fault. It was them all along.
On my mission I had a guy in my area quite literally have a nervous breakdown. He bashed his head on his apartment wall until he bled and passed out. He went home the next week. He was from a big lds royalty type of family. So yeah it definitely can be, I felt terrible for the guy. I knew him pretty well and still believe he just snapped because the mission was so hard. A brutal mission (Czech Republic), no baptisms, no members, language hard as hell and everyone was thoroughly hated by the public. I spent most days just counting down the time until the day was over.
Compared to other childhood horror stories, I didn't have it so bad.
It wasn't so good. But there was some good with the bad.
We were taught good virtues. We had some excellent teachers and role models. And some that were asshats. Probably like other places and times.
I wouldn't want to be born to an atheist family. I've seen the damage that did in my family to some cousins of mine. And my atheist aunt and uncle (their parents.)
I wouldn't want to be born anything really but what I was. Since I was able to find my way out and make my own mind up eventually as to what I wanted to be. Where else but in America were we provided that ultimate freedom (initially?)
I'm glad that I learned to love and revere my creator. That I was taught that in childhood. It has never left me. And for my faith that keeps me grounded.
As for Mormonism, yes there were parts that were/are traumatizing. Without having experienced that I could not have experienced growth and departure from it. It was a catalyst for change.
My Mormon ancestors were very devout and humble people. I still want to honor their memory as much as I can because they lived good and honorable lives to the best of my knowledge. Despite their being misled by a false witness and a cult.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2019 06:03PM by Amyjo.
Don't get me wrong. I do believe Mormonism is destructive. It's just there are other more destructive ways to be raised, and I'm just saying I'm thankful that I wasn't raised in a more dangerous cult than the one that I was.
As for my aunt and uncle, they were taught the Golden Rule by parents who cared enough to teach them right from wrong. Then they went away to college where secularism ruled. It wasn't cool to be a believer so they turned atheist.
Their kids ended up screwed up more than themselves did. My uncle who was a renowned scientist turned into a con artist over the course of his long what was once an esteemed career. Now he's just a career criminal/fugitive felon from the law. As for my aunt, who was a former mayor of their hometown has turned into an alcoholic from too much social drinking. It dimmed her moral compass, like it did my uncle's. They live only for the ill gotten money and the lifestyle it keeps them in.
I know not all atheists are like that. They are the only ones in my family besides a cousin who is a retired engineer on my dad's side, who is the son of my favorite aunt also on my dad's side. He gets a pass. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Two of the most loving people I've met were an atheist couple I knew from a Unitarian Universalist church once attended on Staten Island. My gosh, if everyone were as loving and kind as they were this world would be at peace.
My uncle sad to say, is a bad actor that gives atheists a bad rap. Like Mormon criminals gives TSCC a bad name. He does atheists a huge disservice by his actions.
I believe I have felt something like PTSD. I spent about 2 years in a state of panic and crying nearly daily. My activity and belief in the church was total.
The cure was very difficult. Stop going to church! Tell my loved ones I no longer believe, and accept their reactions.
Life is so much better now! I stand up for myself, I feel confident in my decisions. I wish loved ones would see what I see, but their decisions are their own.
Every once in a great while I get that PTSD feeling again--it feels helpless. Then I remind myself that I'm not helpless, and that I am free!