A NPD/predator at my college decided I make an ideal target. I'm pretty insulted because he misread my adaptability, enthusiasm, and respect for our "friendship" boundaries as me being compliant. Then again, he doesn't care why as long as he liked my antics. Ugh... I caught on to his game, cut contact, and now he resorted to stalking me. I don't know why he won't move on to new supply when he sees me refusing to be receptive. He resorted to trying to scare a reaction out of me; I know better now and it worked just because I was caught off-guard.

I reported him to campus security when he tried stalking me the other day to get attention. I can now say I understand the sheer terror prey experience when they sense danger and are being hunted. Now I'm not sure who I'm dealing with anymore. I thought my deadpan face combined with a non-reactive personality and ignoring him would bore him to death. Looks like the 0-180 to stalking was a punishment. It taught me I never want to be alone with this guy and his accomplices.

He was targeting me longer than I realized, but he's having a hard time because he mislabeled me as easy. I'm caring but not a doormat, dammit! I'm messed up in my own way, recovering quickly from the stalking that would traumatize anyone else. But next time could be worse. I don't know how far he plans to take this.

Please don't take offense at this question, but are you a man or a woman? You may have said before but if so, I didn't notice.

What sort of police response did you get? Have you sought a restraining order? If not, if you have any fear for your security, I'd recommend getting one right away. It sounds as if you need to get the authorities to set a firm boundary right away.

I'm a woman. I didn't go to the police yet because the school can issue a no contact order if needed. But if he attempts physical violence or intimidation, I'll involve the police immediately.

Be very careful, anon2828. Things can spin out of control quickly. If the person you are dealing with is a narcissist, he's likely to feel deeply angry and vengeful.

I'd incline towards getting the police involved sooner rather than later. A protective order would be good, too, inasmuch as it signals that this is a serious matter and the authorities are watching him.

Err on the side of caution.

..."I'd incline towards getting the police involved sooner rather than later. A protective order would be good,...

Err on the side of caution."

I agree completely

anon2828 Wrote:
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> But if he attempts physical violence or
> intimidation, I'll involve the police immediately.


If he attempts physical violence, it may be too late.

Please read Gavin De Becker's "The Gift of Fear."

kathleen Wrote:
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> Please read Gavin De Becker's "The Gift of Fear."

Yes, absolutely second this!

Pepper spray and brass knuckles...

Police. ASAP is my advice.

It sounds to me that he thinks if he keeps putting himself in your way that you might develop an interest in him. Have you told the young man directly that you have no romantic interest in him, and to leave you alone? Some people need to be told very bluntly because they don't understand hints. If that doesn't work, then involve the police, as others have suggested. You might also consider going to the Dean of Students.

In addition, most campuses have designated student escorts who will walk with you on campus at night, i.e. from the library to the parking lot or dorm. I wonder if you can enlist friends to walk with you -- ideally, male friends. If this guy sees you with another man, he might get the point.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2019 10:33AM by summer.

He’s not romantically interested in me. He had three opportunities to make that happen. He saw me as prey from the start. He wanted the hunt, I believe. A malignant narcissist or a sexual predator. I learned through his communication pattern that he wants everything on his terms only. I picked up on that, along with the manipulation, hence blocking and avoiding him. He was angry either for being way off base about my boundaries or because I refuse to join his supply. The sickest part is the willingness of other students to help him!! They bond in their toxicity, if he is in fact running smear campaigns behind my back. I have a few weeks left of school before graduating.

>> have a few weeks left of school before graduating.

That will solve the problem! Stay safe until then.

If he starts a religion, don’t agree to be one of his many wives.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
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> If he starts a religion, don’t agree to be one
> of his many wives.

Oh Babs, you're so right!!!

Lots of good advice here. You seem very knowledgeable about NPD, that's good.

I would only add, to the advice, make sure you are not giving out confusing signals. Don't smile and greet him, don't stop to chat, don't show anger. Make sure your reaction is consistent.

That way anyone watching can't say that you 'led him on."

Good luck!

Thank you!

Any talking after that is just talking to him and he's getting his way with you and hoping for more. People who won't let go make small requests that might seem reasonable, but it's always a ploy to get more and more.

It's like mormons saying, "Read this one verse in Alma. It will take less than two minutes of your time."

What they're hoping for is that you'll be inspired to read more, that you'll let them talk to you about it, and that you might consider praying with them about it and on and on.

Say no once and mean it. Being nice or mean or continuing the relationship won't work. Freeze this guy out!

Good luck.

Don't wait to get a school order if they can issue you one now. That way you have it on record there is a problem with this individual stalking you.

If it continues, follow through with the police restraining order.

Whatever you do, leave a paper trail. It will be a record and make him accountable to local authorities before anything worse happens.

Keep vigilant to your surroundings, and make sure your home is kept locked and secure. Don't go out alone at night or make yourself vulnerable to an attack.

As long as you take sensible precautions, and steer clear of this idiot, he should take note you want nothing further to do with him.

Some women carry small firearms for protection. Although I don't recommend that unless you're competent and trained to handle one. ETA: And prepared to use it.

Predators prey on the vulnerable and weak. The best defense is a good offense. Be confident in yourself, and self-assured.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2019 11:01AM by Amyjo.

anon2828 Wrote:
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> I reported him to campus security

campus security has authority over campus.

you probably do not live your life 100% on campus.

talk to the police. file a report each time there's unwanted contact.

talk to the sheriff's department. ditto.

document everything. dates, times, witnesses, photographs, audio, video.

talk to a lawyer. if the lawyer thinks it's warranted, file for an order or of protection or a civil stalking. this court order can give you a little more ammo to protect yourself.

The first one I worked with at the IRS back when I was 19. I worked swing shift and he'd follow me home. I didn't know how to handle it at the time. The thing I remember well is him telling someone I know, "She acts like she doesn't like me, but I know she does." You can be as rude as possible and they still don't get the message. For years, I'd run into him, but not very often thankfully, and he still would try to talk to me.

My most recent stalker was just a few years ago. He was the custodian at the office building where I worked. He was mean and he'd block my way so I couldn't get away. He knew I was separated from my husband and told me he was going to leave his wife. Little did I know that he also worked where my son worked. I didn't know the guy's name. I reported him to my boss and she said he had caused problems before and they'd "talk to him." As much as I loved my boss, this didn't cut it. I quit working at the office.

The clincher was when he submitted a bid at my husband's job to do de-icing in the parking lots that my husband is over. I happened to be there the day he submitted the bid. My husband took one look at my face and knew who it was though he'd never met him. Needless to say, the guy never bothered me again. My husband (separated) isn't a big guy, but his workers were all there, too, and they know me well. "Miguel" as intimidated. He also now knows who my son is. Although he did show up at my register where I work now and he was being mean to me. The guy who was loading carts is a big guy and he let the guy know he needed to calm down.

The ONLY thing I've found so far with the 4 stalkers I've had is to have a man become involved. Most guys never bothered my sisters and I because of our brothers and my dad. They feared them.

I was in Alaska with my youngest brother, who is 6 foot 3. This guy started bothering me when I was by myself. He just wouldn't leave me alone. He made the mistake of doing something in front of my sister-in-law while my brother wasn't far away. All my brother had to do was walk over and tell him to leave his sister alone. The guy was scared to death.

They target women who they believe are vulnerable. If I had been smart with the first guy who bothered me, I would have had my dad walk outside when I got home from work just ONE NIGHT and that would have been the end of my first stalker. I should have told the people at IRS, too.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2019 11:32AM by cl2.

I once saw a huge sign in front of a home and it said something to the effect of I am being stalked, if you see anyone suspicious around this house,please call police or something to that effect it was years ago, and I don't remember the wording but basically it told the neighborhood this person in this home is being stalked. I think that would scare the stalker, if they knew everyone else knows and are watching him, it would be even more bold to put the name and even a photo on the sign, not sure if you are allowed to do that though.

Yeah, I was 12 and he was my scoutmaster.

Two thoughts:

I was listening to (I think) Very Scary People on the HLN channel on Sirius radio the other day on a road trip. I forget which bad guy the episode was about (there were a few back-to-back), and the ironic thing they pointed out was that the serial killer was living out a fantasy, and actually believed that the victim was in on it and a willing participant. My point is that the nut job who is stalking you must obviously be aware that you know of his "interest," given the change in your interactions with him, yet he doesn't go away. He may perversely think you're playing along with him.

As someone else noted above, he may not be hearing "no" loud enough. There can be a number of explanations for this. Different groups and cultures play the mating game in different ways. Some men don't "hear" disinterest as "no." Some men need to hear "no" loud and distinctly. And some men need to hear it so stridently that it would strike me as offensive, but they just hear "no."

Gordon B. Stinky Wrote:
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> I forget which bad guy the episode was
> about (there were a few back-to-back), and the
> ironic thing they pointed out was that the serial
> killer was living out a fantasy, and actually
> believed that the victim was in on it and a
> willing participant.

Last year some friends tracked down my perp.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwidnv23muThAhUC7J4KHZV_BLEQFjAAegQIBBAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fencyclopediadramatica.rs%2FEvil-unveiled.com%2FBoybuddy&usg=AOvVaw1VNLYBMMckMazIHCy54uQ8

In reading what he posted I assume he thought he was "dating" me and the other boys he befriended and fed. As if we could comprehend and consent.

How should I set the boundary with him? It's likely he's malignant NPD, who meets with others on his terms alone. I could send him a text, but am afraid to unblock him. He could also ignore it. It's not like telling him directly, in person, with a police officer as my witness, to guarantee he receives a crystal clear message. He tried more aggressively to go through his friends today, including a new flying monkey. It sounds like he is slandering me to people in my classes. I got bad vibes off the new flying monkey, so he was probably trying to test me instead of warning me. Everything about this situation is vile.

Two options.

First, call the police and file a report. They'll probably call him, which might be enough to get him off your back. Tell them you are trying to get out of school and out of town safely.

Second, you could get a restraining order. There will be a legal aid office at your university or in the local community, a place where attorneys help the indigent do the paperwork. If you like them and have the means, you could later donate a bit of money. Until then, it'll be free.

The process will take an hour or 90 minutes, and then you submit it to the court. The judge will decide within a day or so, and if s/he signs the document, you hire someone to "serve" the order to the stalker. The cost will be less than $100. All done for that sum and a day or two.

The court will set a hearing in a couple of weeks, maybe a bit longer, at which your tormentor can defend himself. You'd want some evidence at that point, perhaps an attorney. The issue would be whether to extend the "emergency" order into a "temporary" order that would last a few months. At that point you'd want some evidence. But my guess is that the experience alone would be enough to put the fear of God in him.

How do you draw a boundary? Bring in the authorities.

Good luck.

Anon2828--

You wrote: "But if he attempts physical violence or intimidation, I'll involve the police immediately."

If your stalker attempts physical violence, it will be too late for you to involve the police! You are in harm's way, and you need to contact both the city police AND campus security.

You mentioned "his accomplices." This could be a potential gang-rape.

I was stalked several times at BYU, assaulted, and an attempted rape, on the main campus, and at Cannon Center. If you are at BYU, I would suggest transferring to a different university. I'm dead serious. You need to be in a safe environment, where this type of behavior is not allowed. Mormon men, as a whole, do not accept women as equals, and a lot of them think of women as potential "possessions." Mormon security police tend to ignore complaints by women.

A dorm-mate's fiancé stalked me, but the BYU students didn't think there was anything unusual about that behavior, and my dorm-mate went ahead and got engaged to the creep, anyway. He would put himself in my path, when I was walking, and block me from moving forward. He would say things like, "Why do you hate me? Why won't you talk to me? I'm not such a bad guy." He would also disappear for a week at a time, and his fiancé would be unable to reach him. He accosted me in front of my mailbox at Cannon center, at night, and the place was deserted. This time, he grabbed me and pulled my to the back of the coat closet, all the while, telling me he just wanted to talk to me about his fiancé. When I realized this was actually going to be a rape, I started screaming for help, and he wrestled me to the floor, breaking my arm. Other posters mentioned MEN! Well, I dated various members of the BYU football team, off and on, and three of them happened to walk into Cannon Center and hear my screams. They had the guy off of me and out of the building in seconds. No one ever saw the perp again. It turned out that he wasn't a student at all, and was using a fake name, and had other crimes against him.

My niece was raped in her apartment at BYU, by her roommate's fiancé. She was alone, and he asked if he could come inside and wait for her roommate to come home. My niece felt guilty about it, because she had let him come in, and she thought she knew him well. He was a RM, and her roommate loved him, and he gave her a nice engagement ring. My niece went to the doctor, and reported everything, but no one believed that she was attacked. The roommate and fiancé went ahead with the wedding. My niece's parents got therapy for her, and the therapist suggested that she leave the BYU environment, altogether. She graduated from another, much better university. The roommate and rapist ended up getting divorced--no surprise, there.

I married a sociopath who beat me. This should have been avoided, for many reasons, which I'll pass onto you:

First of all, follow your gut instincts about people! You don't have to be suspicious or unfriendly, but just be sensible. My first impression of my ex was spot-on! I was at the BYU bookstore with a friend, and she was on the other side of the store, talking to a large, tall, good-looking guy. I immediately thought, "I have to go rescue her!" Maybe he was leaning in too close to her, in an overbearing manner, or something. Gut reactions have proven to be correct! Body-language experts think that we pick up on body language at a basic level, right at first. A few seconds or minutes later, we override that gut-feeing with what the person is saying to us. It's like letting the missionaries into your home. At the door, our first reaction is to shut the door in their face, but then they start talking--which is what they have rehearsed and practiced--and they talk their way into our trust. They tell us that they have the "truth", while they are still lying. They are still missionaries, as we first realized, but now we have begun to doubt our instincts about them.

Do you research! I always thought it was strange that my parents allowed this stranger to marry me, without any kind of background check, or even an in-depth interview. Isn't your safety and happiness worth as much as any job? I mean, why would someone require a background check for an employee, but not for a son-in-law? None of us had ever met any of his family, until after we were married. His whole family were out of the country, where his father was serving as a mission president. My (deceased) grandfather had known his grandfather, briefly. My ex's father was employed by the Mormon church. My ex was a returned missionary. Why do Mormons think that being an RM is a free ticket to respectability and employment? A background check would have revealed my ex's history of assault and battery and animal cruelty to neighbors and their pets. He beat his sister so severely, that social services removed her from that house. His venerated mission-president father beat him and his brothers so harshly that they had scars.

Anyway, do not go by surface appearances!
Do not give creepy stalkers the benefit of the doubt!

Something is WRONG with your stalker and his behavior. You can not possibly predict what he will do next! You can not honestly tell us, right now, that he is not violent.

BTW, if you are at BYU or BYU-I or UVU or any other Mormon-run school, I would advise you to leave, anyway, for academic, social, and personal-growth reasons.

Try to come home from court with a copy of the restraining order, even if it has not been served. Come home with something.

My stalker attacked the night after he lost in court and the police wouldn't do anything. If I had a copy of the restraining order that had not yet been served, it might have been different.

Not such a fan of San Diego police department.

I was forced to have a stalker as a home-teaching companion at BYU-I. While my attempts at getting him to leave me alone were mostly failures, what I've learned is,

1. NPD/predatory/stalker types are deceptive. They will try to B.S. behind a façade of "just being friendly," and "not meaning to make you uncomfortable," if anyone calls them out on their behavior or tries to stop them from harassing you. Document as much as possible.

2. Other people will inadvertently gaslight you about predators. They don't want to believe that someone they know is a creep, "he's just so nice/he just likes you/why are you accusing him of those things?" These people are not worth listening to.

3. In spite of the accidental accomplices, let people know what he's doing to you. Especially authorities who can stop him. Keep in contact with campus security, contact the cops if you think he could physically harm you, see if there's a lawyer/law student who can get you information about No Contact and Restraining Orders. At the very least, talk to a friend who believes you.

4. Predators will try to isolate you. That's another reason to talk to someone. If you have friends you trust or your college has people who can escort you from place to place, keep close to them.

5. If possible, have a "scorched earth" policy of contact with him. No texts, no calls, no emails, locked doors (my stalker once walked into my apartment when I was alone thanks to my roommates not locking the door), and only send a message through legal documents. Block the bastard out as much as you can.

6. You are never to blame for being stalked and harassed. He's the one who is to blame. Stalking is never about affection; it's about power to harass someone. Try to get that fucker held accountable for it. Or put him on the radar of people who can.

My next-door-neighbor calls me whenever she sees a strange car in my driveway to check on me. We look after each other that way in my neighborhood.

The car bombing two weeks ago my other next-door-neighbor told me the police were investigating it as a possible insurance fraud. The people living in that house are renters.

My golly, the garage door melted down. The car looks like it was bombed out, literally (because it was.)

In its place is a sharp Chevy Corvette coming and going.

I wondered why I was seeing strange cars stopped on my street lately. After my neighbor told me about the possible insurance fraud, I figured the police are watching that house as part of their investigation.

When I was a young woman living in the Morridor I had problems with predators several times. Once living in Palo Alto. What threw them off was the element of surprise. I scared the living bejeepers out of them. One came to me several weeks after the fact asking me why I broke out my apartment window (it was the middle of the night,) yelling for help while he was outside my apartment door? He was the tenant who'd lived there before I did coming around in the middle of the night. I broke the window out screaming for help. My neighbors called the police, who were there within minutes. The scary thing about that time was he may well still have had a key to my place because the locks hadn't been changed when I rented it. He had no business being there.

The other time was a guy (that's who I think it was anyway,) who I'd broken up with after moving back to Idaho Falls after Palo Alto. He was stalking my apartment at night. I lived in a basement apartment with the entrance from the backyard through a side gate. My landlady lived upstairs. This one night I heard him open the gate and walk around to the back entrance which was the front entrance to my apartment. I tiptoed into the bathroom which had a concrete floor in the dark. Well, because it was dark I didn't see the chair in the middle of the floor, and there was this huge loud clattering sound reverberating through the walls of that house from the concrete floor, in the dark, in the middle of the night when I crashed into the chair lol. I decided to add special effects by making a strobe light out of the bathroom lighting and flickered the light off and on over and over while the clattering sound faded away.

That intruder never bothered me again. I scared him more than he scared me. I still filed a police report. (Both times.)

Anon28,

You ask how to set the boundaries with him. If all you have done is ghost him and block his texts, then I would think an email or text clarifying to him that your relationship is over, would be good for clear communication and closure.

You say you are afraid to unblock him, why is that? Are you afraid you will want to start writing him again? If so it seems you may need supportive friend and counseling to solidify your wish to keep away from him.

Lastly, you worry that he is spreading falsehoods about you. Since you are graduating in a few weeks, who cares? Your friends will still be your friends and you won’t see the others again.

When you say he’s using his friends to contact you, have you clearly told these friends that you are no longer with mister x, and that you want no more contact?

If you haven’t told him, nor his friends, and are just relying on ghosting and avoidance, I could see that there might be some cause for confusion.

I wouldn’t drop out or condemn yourself to additional years in school and even more debt just to get away from him. You’re so close to graduating now, get some support , counseling and law enforcement help if need be, get your degree and then go and don’t look back!!

Best wishes for you!

I got in touch with the campus safety supervisor tonight. I'm relieved she said I'm justified for continuing to block him. I don't owe him clarification. I'm not afraid I "will want to start writing him again"--I blocked a man who I came to know as manipulative and controlling. I chose to exit the life of someone who couldn't connect beyond acquaintance, who was clearly interested in an unhealthy, one-sided "friendship" to serve his needs on his whim. I respect myself enough to not justify myself to users and abusers. Regardless of whether he figured out I blocked him, whether he tried to text me, he chose to punish by stalking me, a mere week after I chose to focus on other things happening in my life. Normal people do not respond to someone ignoring them by getting their attention through stalking. I do not reward a calculating, predatory stalker with my active attention.

I don't care about the falsehoods for my self-esteem. Loving my autonomy, I don't depend on others for happiness. I don't care if people are easily manipulated, wanting to believe lies about me if they don't care to hear both sides. They are pathetic. I care when the slandering is used in a malicious attempt to impact my behavior through others I wouldn't suspect. It's an attempt to distort reality of who I can and cannot trust. I have to trust my classmates on a basic level to communicate with them. Narcissistic predators will use third parties in an attempt to glean information from their targets when they know the target is exerting control by ignoring them. This behavior is abusive. I can't call out his friends directly because the point of their strategy is being covert. If I did, they would easily gaslight me and may become more covert. I have evidence, but it requires being perceptive, reading between the lines, and weighing nuance. The pieces fit together. Plenty of abusers go unnoticed because neighbors don't like to think of archetypes like the "loving, Christian family man" or the "perfect, doting mother" as abusive. Abusive people fly under the radar if they have an charming, charismatic mask because their communities don't want the cognitive dissonance and may gain benefit in ignoring the abuse.

I'd recommend making a file and putting copies/recordings of all of his communications in it. And if you get any more messages from him, contact campus security again. A record of all of this is critically important if the day comes when you need to go farther.

Anon,

Sounds good that you have got the support you needed from law enforcement and can call on it again when needed.

I am curious what the guy did the week or so ago, did he do something that revealed himself to be a disordered narcissistic person, where you previously had not seen it? Just curious, since you seem to be very educated about it, doesn’t seem that he would have been able to fool you very easily. Did you have a confrontation at that time, where he knows it is over?

If you feel like writing this is something a lot of us could probably learn from, thanks!

Thank you. Your question is insightful and valid. I have the valid answer to go with it.

Quick breakdown:
1. His mask was trustworthy.
2. On a personal level he was endearing, bolstering the trust.
3. I wasn't familiar with NPD at the time. Aside from two instances exclusive to me, he hid the NPD. (My original conclusion was manipulative player who enjoyed breaking hearts or entitled misogynist. Both were too human and didn't fit his patterns. Overt stalking because he couldn't control me, plus stalking and attempts at triangulation through flying monkeys were major giveaways. A personality disorder made the most sense).

I met this guy on a spring break service trip, exclusive to students at my college. There were 10 of us (8 students, 2 leaders) in our group. For the entire 8 days we all believed we bonded, we were only shown the charming, friendly, funny side of this guy. I was exposed to his mask for a full week. I had no reason to believe he wasn't a genuine, considerate person who cared for those around him. At the same time, he never led me to believe he was too good to be true. No flags raised. The only thing that was off was being unable to connect with him the way he connected to others in the group, but this was partly my fault for being standoffish with him (I had a personal reason connected to him, but nothing he was to blame for). I think he sensed my endearment, which led to him covertly. It was the first piece of the puzzle, but didn't add up until the end.

Anon28, are you being deliberately vague? You're clearly very facile with the psychological jargon (e.g. trustworthy mask, narcissistic supply, flying monkeys, etc), but without any detail it's difficult to give you any practical advice other than, "call the police and/or campus security." I'm having trouble understanding what the purpose of your post is, or what you're looking for. If you say, "he always does such-and-such," then people who've experienced such-and-such can offer more practical advice. If all we know are broad categorical descriptions, than we can't offer much.

I'm not being vague on purpose. I was looking for general advice. All the advice everyone has given on this forum has been helpful to me. I asked if anyone's dealt with a predator because I have never been stalked before, let alone by a predator with a team. I was looking for general advice, especially in how to proceed. I've been documenting, but it would be much too long to list every detail on here. I shared as much as I felt comfortable with and also what I thought was an appropriate amount.

Ok

A policeman friend had a female stalker. She became so dangerous (damaging his property, assaults, threatening his loved ones) that she ended up in prison. He said he would be safe only as long as she was locked up.

Our son had a stalker. We passed her in the mall. She texted him and said, "Your mom's hair looks nice." He called us immediately worried that my severed head was on the front seat of her car. Sounds like a joke, but it's not. Stalkers (male and female) can become very dangerous very quickly.

Protection orders are a piece of wet paper. Getting the police involved means nothing, absolutely nothing. If you move without a trace and change jobs and schools also means he uses Intuit and $3.49 to find out your new address from your utility bill. And then there will always be your financial info if he gets hold of your mail and steals your identity to punish you.

What to do? Move to a state that has stalker laws. Hire a private sector or a dog the bounty hunter to deal with him. Don't be nice. Be gigantic against him. You can hire a retired Texas ranger.

Anon28,

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you had a nice time with this man on your chaperoned trip, I’m sorry things didn’t work out. You seem extremely tuned into understanding people, perhaps you are a psychology major? Or will be? I don’t think you will be fool d again.

Have you read “the human magnet syndrome” by Rosenberg? It is about how kind, self-sacrificing people are drawn in to meeting the needs of narcissists. I’m glad you did not waste any more of your time with him.

I hope none of the worst scenarios people here have experienced happen to you. Since you will be leaving school soon and will be away from him hopefully that will be a natural end to your interactions. I hope you can concentrate on completing your school, looking for or starting a job, in other words, getting on with your own life, and leave him and his distractions and attempted manipulation behind.

Hope that all goes well!

Thank you! I hope I can get a no-contact order issued by the school. This means he will be punished if he stalks me and tries to use other students to reach me. It's still not foolproof, but it would discourage surprise incidents of stalking. It would show him I value myself enough to enlist the school's protection. It sends the right message. I haven't read that book, but I'm bumping it up on my list once summer starts. Someone else on here mentioned "The Gift of Fear," which also goes to the top of my list. I need to read these books. It's interesting, but also empowering to better protect myself. I'm actually a business major, but love psychology and sociology.