Posted by:
Elizabeth S.
(
)
Date: April 25, 2019 03:48AM
Mormon Leaders don't teach the right things about marriage. And, they do teach the wrong things about marriage.
I harken back to old writings in the Joseph Smith Discourses and Brigham Young’s rants where they were known to go to a young woman’s father, informing tell him that his daughter and maybe her sister had to marry him … or a widow with her daughter & it was basically a commandment. This means the Dad can't refuse, he might also might have been part of the sick system. And the women and girls can't refuse, without risk of going to Hell.
Sign me up! (Lol...Not!)
The claim was ‘I had a revelation …'
So these females with no power, obeyed these perverts, anointed authoritarians, who tried to make it all sound Holy and Celestial. When the women protested, they were told they were under the power of Satan for refusing. So that means that a woman who won’t have sex with a man she doesn’t know and doesn’t love, is flawed and under Satan’s power. Isn't that ironic? In some cultures, it would be thought that a women who would quickly lie down with a man would be considered to be a whore.
And since Marriage equals having sex, and since these characters are not all in love with all these women (Polygamy),then why weren't they honest? They should have stopped "spin doctoring" their revelations and say, "I've been commanded to have sex with your 14 year old daughter and your 16 year old. God commands it. Oh who is that? A 12 year old cousin? I'll take her too. We'll do the secret wifery ceremony right here." Very few witnesses.
Pathetically, these old stories lie deep in the psyche of Mormon children and adults alike.
What should be taught by Modern Church Leaders is:
You need to know your partner. You need to like him/her first, then love him/her before you marry. You need to know yourself. You need to be an adult. You need to pursue an education or a start at a career to make money (male and female). You need to be honest and emotionally intelligent. You have to know each other are equals...and yes, you do need to have mutual respect… and compassion. And one person cannot be doing all of the compromising.
And it is not all about having Faith. Faith cannot change something about a person because you want it to change. And Faith can't change someone who does not want to change. You can only change yourself.
You can be attracted to more than one person, in your life, as we all know, but you have to have a connection that's deeper than hormones to launch into a committed, long term marital relationship.
Having the two together is the glue that can hold you together.
In my 30’s, someone told me that sex was the royal road of Karma. A light bulb went on. It’s true.
Sometimes, karma isn’t the good kind of karma; it can send you down a painful, circuitous road for years.
Well, you will get what you pay for. If you marry someone for hormones only and fool yourself into thinking it's love, you won't end up with a satisfying relationship; you’ll probably be miserable and it will end badly.
The church conveniently avoids talking about marital truths & good preparations, to the young probably because it reveals how flawed and horribly wrong the "founders" were. (Not to mention the current leaders of today.) If the founders are wrong, the church isn't true. It's especially abhorrent when purporting to counsel the youth of today.
To me it's negligent, fraudulent and just another form of abuse to reap on young women...and young men.
Mormon Leaders don't teach the right things about marriage. And, they do teach the wrong things about marriage.
I harken back to old writings in the Joseph Smith Discourses and Brigham Young’s rants where they were known to go to a young woman’s father’s home, informing him that his teen daughter and maybe her younger sister had to marry him, like right Now... … or a widow with her daughter & it was basically a commandment. This means the Dad can't refuse because he’s a priesthood holder and, he might also might have been part of the sick system & perhaps he’s one of those polygamists whose done the same thing.
And the women and girls can't refuse, without risk of going to Hell. If everyone disobeys, everyone is going to hell.
Sign me up! (Lol...Not!)
The claim from these early mormons was ‘I had a revelation …’ standing there were his multiple wives all cooking dinner, somewhere, pregnant, nursing or labouring, feeding children and watching from a distance (not to mention his older kids watching from a distance.) Everyone keeping secrets. There seemed to be no shame with some of these multiple partner characters.
So these girls with no power, obeyed these perverts, (anointed church authoritarians), who tried to make it all sound Holy and Celestial. When the women protested, they were told they were under the power of Satan for refusing. So that means that a woman who won’t give sex to a man she doesn’t know and doesn’t love, is flawed and under Satan’s power??
Isn't that ironic? In some cultures, it would be thought that a women who would quickly lie down with a man would be considered to be a whore, or stupid..
And since Marriage equals having sex, THEN and often now, and since these men are not all in love with all these women (Polygamy), then why weren't they honest? They should have stopped "spin doctoring" their revelations and said, "I've been commanded to have sex with your 14 year old daughter and your 16 year old. God commands it. Oh who is that hiding in the corner? Your 12 year old cousin? I'll take her too. She's cute, I think she could make babies when she starts menstruating.
We'll do the secret wifery ceremony right here."
Next, comes the bedding arrangements that all women feared. Who goes first? Arggg. and puke.
Pathetically, these old stories lie deep in the psyche of Mormon children and adults alike. And rarely are the actual details spelled out, because truth is meant to be hidden, be kept secret and buried, even if it destroyed generations of lives with the Abuse of it all.
____________________________________________________________
What should be taught by Modern Church Leaders is … in 2019:
You need to know your partner. You need to like him/her first, then love him/her before you marry. You need to know yourself. You need to have some common interests, things you both enjoy doing together. You need to be an adult. You need to pursue an education or a start at a career to make money (male and female). You need to be honest and emotionally intelligent. You have to know each other are equals...and yes, you do need to have mutual respect… and compassion. And one person cannot be doing all of the compromising.
And it is not all about having Faith. Faith cannot change something about a person because you want to change the person. And Faith can't change someone who does not want to be changed. You can only change yourself.
Therapy might help with some people, to try to un-brainwash what has been planted in our brains, making us fully human and fully alive.
You can be attracted to more than one person, in your life, as we all know, but you have to have a connection that's deeper than hormones to launch into a committed, long term marital relationship.
Having the two together is the glue that can hold you together.
In my 30’s, someone told me that sex was the royal road of Karma. A light bulb went on. It’s true and an idea to respect.
Sometimes, karma isn’t the good kind of karma; it can send you down a painful, circuitous road for years.
Well, you will get what you pay for. If you marry someone for hormones only and fool yourself into thinking it's love, you won't end up with a satisfying relationship; you’ll probably be miserable and fighting, maybe hating each other and it will end badly.
The church conveniently avoids talking about marital truths & good preparations, to the young probably because it reveals how flawed and horribly wrong the "founders" were. (Not to mention the current leaders of today.) If the founders are wrong, the church isn't true.
It's especially abhorrent when purporting to counsel the youth of today as the Lord's anointed. To me it's negligent, fraudulent and just another form of abuse to reap on young women...and young men.
The Church focuses on the avoidance of intimate relations outside of marriage. (That's fair & sensible.) However, they are adamant about getting married as early as possible, not only to avoid premarital sex, (which would be shameful to the highest degree), but to insure that women are birthing as many children as possible. The earlier women are married the more babies they will have, before they learn that they can say no and they can also space their children; it's their choice. If they don't learn this, women, have less power and probably poorer health due to the stress.
If they divorce, the odds are high she will wind up in poverty, or not doing so well, while trying to raise the children, because she doesn't have an education or career or any training.
The only options are to get remarried. The upside is sometimes it does work and maybe she can find a soul mate to marry.
That said, it's not a cake walk for a man either.
And for men, they are burdened with the financial upkeep of possibly more than one family (if they remarry, obviously its possible for them to find a soul mate, as well - if those life lessons are learned.)