If being a Mormon felt like it was more of a crutch that is when you were one. For some, it felt more like life support.

I've substituted other religions. Never my faith, that was always mine to own.

But other things I've found enjoyment in aka "joy" like the simpler things of life such as enjoying nature's bounty, dining, relaxing, entertainment, family events, holidays, and the occasional outing to market.

Happy to say church is no longer my end all, be all.

Have you found your special "happy place" since leaving TSCC?

If so, care to share? :)

Actually, my “crutch” is that I have no crutch.

I’m actually more at peace with myself now that I admit that I don’t know the unseen mysteries of the universe. I used to “know” the nature of god; now I doubt that there is a god. I used to “know” what happens when we die; now I’m very comfortable with the fact that I have no idea what (if anything) happens to us (I assume that death is the end. I might be wrong but I don’t waste time or energy worrying about it.) I used to try to help others in an effort to please an unseen being; I really feel that I’m kinder and more generous now that I don’t care about trying to gain eternal points.

For me, the Mormon church was whatever the opposite of a crutch is. It wasn't a support, it was a weight pushing me down into self-loathing.

Exactly, olderelder.

My parents and other Mormon adults taught me that I had an desperately-needed “support system”, if I jumped through the hoops and quietly tolerated the abuse. I did well in all aspects of life—except for the cult. Church was the biggest negative in my life, and I came to realize that this was the only place I needed a crutch. The cult was my enemy, throughout my life.

Free from the cult and its threats and deamons, lies and abuse, I don’t need a crutch.

Maybe my family is my crutch, to give me love and purpose. My career is a crutch I can rely on for our financial support and social respect. The cult offered unnecessary obstacles and demands, and nothing helpful.

olderelder Wrote:
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> For me, the Mormon church was whatever the opposite of a crutch is. It wasn't a support, it was a weight pushing me down into self-loathing.

Completely agree!!!

I try to rely more on myself since I don't trust mormondom like a did when I was a kid. They always say keep your eye on the bretheren, obedience is the first law of heaven. the bretheren will never lead you astray.

But then I think about fanny alger and nancy rigdon, kirtland ponzi scheme, the handcart fiasco, and I relize things just didn't work out for them because they didn't use their brains enough and trust their own good judgement.

I don't need one

"...a weight pushing me down into self-loathing."

"...unnecessary obstacles and demands."

Me, too. The only time I needed a crutch, was when I had to deal with the cult. When I was a member, and now I'm not a member, I've needed "crutches" to help me deal with past and present Mormon abuse.

My biggest crutch is RFM.

My children
Therapy
A Sunday morning walk with my dog
Non-Mormon friends
Good doctors and nurses, if I need them
Nature
My identity as "matriarch" of my family
My career and earning ability
Hobbies and interests
Music, sports, reading.

I used to spend a lot of time rehearsing music and preparing SS lessons. I could not go to church at all, much less perform, unless I looked perfect, and that took effort. I had to have two cups of coffee to get me out of bed on Sundays; whereas, the rest of the days of the week, I would pop out of bed with enthusiasm for the day's adventures at work and with my family, after work. No caffeine needed.

The average cult Sunday was worse than my very worst day at work. Other Sunday crutches were: plenty of M & M's in my purse, paper and pencils for the kids, day planner and cell phone. There was the much anticipated pizza for dinner, after it was over.

It was like a cloud of depression would follow me home from church, and I had to shake it off. I would have to crawl into bed and shut out the world, for 20-30 minutes, before I felt normal again. Then, we would eat pizza, play, do homework, and watch TV, with that unique sense of relief that comes late on a Mormon Sunday night.

Who would've ever thought the "day of rest" as a Mormon wasn't Sunday? For me it was typically the day after, or when we came home from the church block that the real rest and unwinding could begin.

There were some Mondays I'd need to call into work sick so I could heal from Sunday. (No kidding.)

Fast Sundays tended to be the worst. Not only did they sap my strength from morning til night, but blood sugar too.

I'd be so weak from even skipping two meals (running on empty,) by the time we'd get home from meetings I'd be ready to faint.

That is no way to run a house or home, or family.

Wow. Blood sugar issues. They didn't let you off because of this medical issue??

I told my bishop that I had kidney problems and could NOT become dehydrated. He told me I had to provide a letter from the doctor saying so. My nephrologist (kidney specialist) was shocked at the request, but he provided a rather curtly worded letter advising the bishop that I was to have (and drink from) a water container at all times.

The bishop wasn't sure that a nephrologist was a "real" doctor. I assured him that a nephrologist is a REAL M.D. who has extra certifications in kidney ailments.

Looking back, I can hardly believe that I tolerated that kind of nonsense.

My crutch is in the attic next to my snow board and body cast. (Jk).

Honestly, I’m woefully crutchless without my Pop. Last night, I watched a movie, “In Order of Disappearance.” The main character reminded me of Pop and exactly how he would act under the same circumstances. And the snowplow scenes were breathtaking! Made me cry.

Freedom--no longer feeling obligated to give and give, to the church and members, knowing that I wouldn't be able to count on any help for myself if I ever did need it.

There have been many tales here, and ones told to me by members, how, when they were struggling, or in hospitals, or had house fire, the church offered NO help. Just more demands.

Not needing any crutch to have freedom from that!!!

My crutch is isolating myself from others. I'm sick of people.

but I would have had them without leaving the church. It's just life. I have an addictive personality.

I allow myself diet coke to keep me working. It was especially a treat for me when I was working at Sam's Club.

I like to shop.

Dogs.

With the 10% savings + from what we used to pay in tithes and offerings, I find it goes a lot further when I go shopping than it used to !!

:)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2019 02:43PM by shylock.

I sit with a Zen group... they teach nothing and let you figure your own self out... the part that they do "teach" is that there are no teachings... the written word is dried dog turds...etc... Doesn't mean you go out on a tangent and damage a lot of people... Your allowed to breathe and if you don't agree with something... stuff does come up... you simply disregard it... Also used to drink beer... doesn't agree with me much in my old age so had to stop... spending time with immediate family and enjoying life... That about sums it up... and I have extra money to go on fun vacations!

That sounds nice, going on fun vacations.

Yeah, I gave up beer at the ripe old age of 19 or 20. I was a beeraholic.

That was no fun at all. Now I can't stand the taste of it.

I've been looking at chartered vacations for Switzerland though. That is something I hope to save for. There are so many to choose from is the only problem. Once I get over there I may not want to come home either.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2019 10:10PM by Amyjo.

I now feel the spirit in the company of Jack Daniel's and Jim Beam.

The literacy council is my new feel-good crutch. Religions claim to change lives. Literacy programs actually do. I am loving working with them. Especially with younger adults who really do want to better their situations but the system has failed them. I truly feel the spirit and come away thinking "Oh, THAT is what I was supposed to feel on Sundays in mormon world."