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Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:18PM

I wanted to check out a Catholic church. Is there a dress code? What is it like?

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Posted by: ConcernedCitizen 2.0 ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:22PM

...late 70's slacks, vests, bell bottoms, and block heels.

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Posted by: macaRomney ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:26PM

boring!
Mass is in English now though so that's better than it was when no one could understand anything. But I guess that's the whole point. The father does preach a short little ditty they call a sermon which may be helpful, and they do sometimes sing old 60's rock songs as part of their sacred music, which certainly woke me up when I heard it.

Last time I went there was no dress code, but wearing pants is good. I wouldn't go in shorts or a tanktop. anything else should be fine.

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Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:29PM

A nearby Parish had some Facebook pictures. The majority of the men were wearing shorts and t-shirts. Could I get away with that?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:31PM

If you have the legs for it,

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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:49PM

How about 4 legs?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:51PM

4 legs, 6 legs, 8 legs, a scholar!

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:58PM

I love the Latin mass,but then I have a degree in Latin. As for the dress code,it is pretty much whatever you like. You will see shorts, tanks, jeans, tees etc as well as dressier clothes. Few women wear dresses.I would dress casually and not show a lot of skin at first as parishes do have personalities. Better to be a bit more conservative until you get he was lay of the land.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 09:58PM

I just love these out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire threads.

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Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:03PM

I am not converting, lol. Just going out of boredom mainly.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:09PM

You have a right to go to any church for any reason without judgemental comments.You know, sort of like atheists have them right not to go without being the the victim of criticism..

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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:51PM

Apparently Dave's Big Boy high has worn off ...

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 08:26AM

Lol

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Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 12:20AM

I claim no such right. People can and do criticize me on a regular basis. It's their right to do so...

It's my right, of course to make jokes of their criticisms...

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Posted by: Buttygig ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 10:50AM


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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 10:20PM

There is no dress code for attendance at a catholic church.

There used to be an unspoken rule that you had to have something

on your head like a lace scarf or something like that but I'm not

sure if it is enforced. They used to be pretty casual about

what people wore just as they were casual about people going in

and praying during a wedding. As a mormon I swas shocked to see

what an unorganized mess it was unless it was during mass and

then it gave the semblance of normalcy and some semblance

of reverence. I haven't been in ages so it might be different now..

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 12:51AM

The head covering rule ended in the 60s with Vatican 11.Catholics do dress much more casually than Mormons in church, but they know how to behave. It is much quieter and yelling kids.are usually taken out unlike in the Mormon church where people talk during the service while their kids run around wild.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 11:02PM

I would wear business casual -- i.e. pants and a shirt or polo. You will be sitting, standing, and kneeling a lot.

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Posted by: Hockeyrat ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 11:08PM

Wow, anyone can just pop in the church while a private wedding is going on? I wouldn’t like that. I guess I can use that as a reason I never tried the Catholic Church. Well, I went once with a friend , a long time ago, back in the dinosaur days,
I never liked it when I heard that priest didn’t have to report felons who show up for confession.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 05, 2019 11:23PM

>>Wow, anyone can just pop in the church while a private wedding is going on?

Technically yes, but I've never seen it done. That would be true for any mainstream Christian church. Just be prepared to answer the question, "Bride or groom?" The usher is asking in order to determine on which side of the church to seat you. And you would want to be dressed appropriately -- church weddings tend to be dressy. In NYC it is not unusual for passersby to pause on the sidewalk to see the bride emerge from the church.

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 09:14AM

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow, anyone can just pop in the church while a
> private wedding is going on?

Not a good idea in my experience.

> I never liked it when I heard that priest
> didn’t have to report felons who show up for
> confession.

A confessional is like going to your doctor or shrink, or lawyer, they don't have the right to tell everyone what you told them without your permission. In fact, if none of these had confidentiality, no one would visit them.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 10:29AM

Don't take your kids.

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 10:43AM

While I was still a practicing Catholic, my attire would vary by role and seasons.

When a lector (the fellow at the lectern doing all the announcements and readings the priest didn't do), I wore a suit and tie.

As a regular congregant during the winter, dress pants and a sweater; when it was warmer, dress pants and a tie.

My attire was fairly average. Some were better dressed, and many showed up in a nice pair of jeans and tie or jacket.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 02:18PM

I went to catholic parochial school where the student's family economic status generally was on the lower end, a few had parents that were doctors and other professionals, but generally lower status.

One day the religion instructor said something about going to mass in your Sunday's best. One student said he didn't have a suit and his clothes were generally the same as what he wore to school.

The teacher said, "Your Sunday best doesn't mean fancy clothes, it what's in your heart that counts."

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Posted by: lillium ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 02:21PM

I can't help thinking what the scenario would have been if that had been a little Mormon boy who didn't have a white shirt and tie.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 02:33PM

No kidding...What's in your heart isn't nearly good enough.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 02:20PM

There's a catholic church near my house. One of these days I'm going to attend a service. Then every month, check out another church in my local area. I'm not interested in any religion, but I'm interested in seeing slices of my community, who are they, what are they like? I figure churches would be good for that. There's a mormon church not far away from me too!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 02:54PM

I've been to services in at least a dozen different religious traditions, including a few protestant churchs, the RCC, Greek Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Jewish, Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist (as much as one can), Shinto, Hare Krishna, Native American, African animist, UU, even some New Age stuff.

I find them fascinating culturally, historically, religiously. There is a lot to learn about people from such events.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 07:03PM

I've enjoyed that in the past as well. I may do it again.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 04:46PM

Hello no longer angry,

My thought:

NOOOOOOO!

Why get out of one restrictive, controlling, money and time sucking religion just to go into another one?

Surely, if you are bored, library book? if looking for friends, try meetup or gaming groups or college groups or if you are just wanting to spend time, going to a gym or a movie or? Anything better than letting some church get its claws into you again???

Just my opinion here, I wish you all the best but had to say it.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 07, 2019 10:09AM

He said he is going out of curiosity and is not looking for a church. Even if he were searching, it is his business. People have different needs. Catholicism doesn't have to be restrictive. Many members are cafeteria types and do fine.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 10:40PM

bona dea Wrote:
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> He said he is going out of curiosity

Bona dea,

If you reread his posts you will see that the OP said he was “going out of boredom” which is why my post addressed that.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:12PM


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2019 11:13PM by mel.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 14, 2019 09:42PM

And my point was that it is his business what he does to relieve his boredom. He asked about the dress code,not whether he should go or for alternative ways to entertain himself. Some people enjoy studying and visiting other churches even if they don't believe. I am one of them.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 08:21PM

They're pretty lax in their dress code...at least the ones I've been in here are. I usually try and not look freshly showered and laundered.

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: May 06, 2019 10:12PM

AFAIK, they like modest clothing and taking your hat off if you go into one of their churches if you're a man.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 07, 2019 05:50AM

Yes, but modesty in Catholicism is not the same thing as modesty in Mormonism. For instance it's okay in American Catholic churches to wear a sleeveless dress or a dress above the knees. You would be expected to dress similar to if you were going to work in an office -- not out to a nightclub.

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Posted by: shylock ( )
Date: May 08, 2019 09:43PM

I tried the Catholic church for a spell until I discovered they weren't super thrilled about homo's invading their turf. Their personalities are generally much better then the Mormons. You can drink yourself silly, smoke, cuss, and get away with any nonsense just as long as you confess your sins. Tithing(optional) is a plate pass around and they don't keep records... unless your a huge donor and want a tax break. Dress code in Arizona is casual. Shorts are fine. Did hate it when the were doing baptisms as it stretched the services way beyond one hour... same with converts... services boring as hell... but talks and sermons kept to a minimal. I found that the die hards... especially the older females look like they need to take a good dump... constipated as all hell and uptight... but since the majority are cafeteria Catholics you are surrounded by people that just want you to be a part of the church... they don't try to control your every thought and movement. And I can honestly say I was never manipulated by any of the clergy which after a year I became pretty familiar with... That was also my last venture with any religion... They pulled the last nail that was holding me down and now I am free... just a personal choice that I finally realized I was being spoon fed the same BS but in a softer and gentler way.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 08, 2019 10:12PM

Shylock, unless things have changed, Catholic baptisms are done privately, with the priest and the child's family. They are not a part of the church service. And there are no "talks," but there is a sermon delivered by the priest.

As for LGBTQ, it probably depends on where you are attending. I saw gay couples attending services in NYC without any trouble.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 08, 2019 10:28PM

Adultconvert baptisms are done at the Easter Vigil and that service has so much in it that it can last three hours. I think that is probably what she meant.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 05:23AM

Oh, okay.

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Posted by: doyle18 ( )
Date: May 08, 2019 11:44PM

Sometimes, there's more than one child being baptized at a Catholic baptism especially where there's a shortage of priests. That's how it was when my niece was baptized, she wasn't the only child, so it was our family and the families of the other children.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 12:15AM

But that is usually a.private ceremony

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 05:27AM

Okay, that makes sense. Where was the baptism done? I used to see it happening in the church foyer, perhaps on a Saturday.

My main point is that the baptism of children has not historically been a part of the regular church service as it is in Mormonism. It's done separately.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 07:13AM

When he complained about the long service, I thought of the Easter vigil where adults are baptized and confirmed.Thae confirmations includes adults who were baptized as babies but never confirmed If it is a large church you can have a lot of baptisms followed by eve more confirmations. Added to the extra readings etc, it can go on for as much as three hours.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 07:32AM

I don't think that I ever saw that service.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:56AM

I went a couple more of times but it was way too long for my taste

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Posted by: shylock ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:08AM

At the Franciscan Catholic church in Phoenix I saw quite a few babies get dunked. It was done on the tail end of service and you never knew when it was going to take place. I remember a friend I was going with would look at me and say "I hope they are not doing the christening thing today!" From what I understand you can choose to have a private ceremony, but the church prefers the whole congregation to be involved in the event these days.

As for the LGBQT I never had a problem per se. The priest had to read a declaration from His most holy one on high that stated "practicing gays and lesbians have no business in participating in the sacrament or helping with communion. Again Religion singling out it's minorities. That wasn't the deal breaker for me. Had zero interest in the communion. I was finally at a stage in my life where it was time to shed the sugar coated garments of religion and live my life the way I wanted to... also figured out the God thing was a bit overrated... I think the Catholic Church appealed to my "Gay" side with all the pageantry and pomp. Priest get to wear some pretty awesome dresses. The burning of incense and the music was a tad bit better than the MORmON church too.

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Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:12AM

The church with the green color scheme?

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 12:04PM

>>The priest had to read a declaration from His most holy one on high that stated "practicing gays and lesbians have no business in participating in the sacrament or helping with communion."


A lot of Catholics would simply ignore that. I've heard of priests denying communion to certain members, but it's rare.

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Posted by: Bamboozled ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 12:13PM

You will be welcomed - no exceptions.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 05:46PM

Good to hear. I have no idea if I will ever return to a church, but if I do, the Episcopal church is on my short list. My dad and most of his family were Episcopalian.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:16AM

She still believes. He doesn't. I went to mass with them twice. That was in the 1970s. Jeans to mass and nothing on my head. It was interesting to watch and they had a live band. I didn't like the part where everyone turns and shakes hands and wishes them something. I'm an introvert and I felt uncomfortable, but I found it much easier to go to than mormon meetings. We could go when we chose and then do something else that day.

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:28AM

Oh, you attended mass at one of the liberal churches. I remember my dad disparaging live bands at "those" churches. Organs all the way for him.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I was surprised when one Sunday everybody started turning to each other with outstretched hands saying, "Peace be with you."

Being the crotchety old introvert I am, even when I was young, I was tempted to say, "Oh, stuff it."

There was always some middle-aged guy trying to crush my hand while wishing peace upon me.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 12:05PM

The first time I saw the handshake at the end of the service was at a Catholic funeral (the only time these days when I go to church.) I was appalled by it. The Catholic church used to be a good place for introverts, but not with the handshake.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 09, 2019 11:20PM

I liked it the handshake at the end and saying a nice sentence to a stranger to wish them well. But this was in Episcopal church. I never went and don’t have any interest in Catholic Church.

You will find Episcopal churches welcome gays etc. They have women priests also. Much more modern and inclusive than Catholics. Doesn't have the creepy child-molester priests, that's a big plus. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2019 04:03PM by mel.

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Posted by: catholicrebel ( )
Date: May 14, 2019 07:47PM

I am Catholic. No particular dress code except to consider where you are, so dress respectfully. You don’t have to be dressed up if you don’t want to. Some do, some don’t. In the US showing your shoulders is ok but it’s important to dress in a way that doesn’t show off too much skin. For example as a lady I wouldn’t wear a dress that would show my rear when I kneel or have my boobs hanging out. However, how someone dresses is their choice but they are stricter in Italy.(Shoulders must be covered.) It can vary what is modest according to culture. Also, as far as inclusion, my parish had a lesbian couple whose child was baptized there without question and my priest has spoken out against child predators but I digress.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 14, 2019 07:59PM

I belong to Trip Advisorss forum on Italy. Tourists have to cover knees and shoulders although it isn't always enforced esp in small churches. However, posters who actually live in Italy say that members often wear short skirts or sleeveless dresses even those who give the readings. One says she say a bride in St Peter's being married in a strapless dress. One rule for tourists and one for parishioners I guess. They have probably seen some ridiculous clothes on tourists which accounts for the rule. The rules are similar in Israel. I saw a girl there who was wearing a big scarf on her head as if it were a hijab along with short shorts and a tight top with spaghetti straps. Wrong. Catholics aren't Mulims, this isn't a mosque and no one care about hair. However her hot pants and low cut spaghetti straps were definitely not dress code. She certainly had the rules mixed up.

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Posted by: catholicrebel ( )
Date: May 14, 2019 09:20PM

Now, we do wear mantillas or lace type veils as a sign of reverence to the presence of Christ. Mantillas have become optional but I do like to wear mine. It is very different from a hijab though. I went to Italy in 2007 and always made sure my shoulders were covered and my skirts came down to my knee but like I said what is considered modest can vary according to culture. Even a parish made of predominantly one culture can choose different policies according to the comfort level of the members. When I attend Spanish Mass probably 9 out of 10 people receive communion on the tongue instead of in hand as compared to an English speaking mass composed of Americans of various cultural backgrounds. The Catholic Church is universal and consists of all cultures and traditions can vary but Canon law remains the same.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: May 14, 2019 09:34PM

I know a few women, mostly old, who wear hats or mantillas, but around here it is rare.In the churches I saw in Italy and Israel it was the same. The girl I saw in Israel was definitely wearing a hijab or hijab like head covering but she was exposed otherwise as if she were wearing a swim suit. I guess in her mind boobs and butts are okay, but hair is a no no. I had a hard time not laughing. I am almost positive she wasn't Muslim, but she seemed pretty confused. Lol

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