So, I got wind of the fact that there have been changes to Temple Wedding policies and how couples married outside the Temple first no longer have to wait a year to get sealed. I have one thing to say about that. It’s about damn time!

Well, they still have to be worthy...

Besides being current on their tithing, one wonders if the bishop and SP will ask about sexual mischief before the civil wedding, and the word of wisdom?

And just imagine a gay or Lesbian couple who followed both the civil law and the sex and tithing commandments going in to ask for a TR!!!

Revelation sure requires a lot of outside pressure.

Only a prophet of God, often with a Urim and Thumim, can interpret polling data properly.

And they changed things a few months after my daughter got married.

It just reminds you of how ridiculous the whole religion is. And here I grew up being taught they had all the answers.

scenarios similar to the following happened in several places around the world in May and June 1978:

A few weeks before June 9, 1978, a black person of African descent (Mr. Smith) is brought into the church by missionaries and meets with the local bishop. Mr. Smith is thinking about getting baptized, but has just learned that even though he can get baptized, he can't have any of the priesthood that all other males in the Church who are not black can have. In fact, even though he's a university professor, husband and father of three great children. He's deemed to be not eligible to have even the same priesthood as 12-year-old Wilbur Jensen (who lives two houses down in the same neighborhood). Needless to say, Mr. Smith has some serious questions for the bishop.

The bishop tries to explain as best he can, but he can see that Mr. Smith is getting increasingly irritated hearing things about "less valiant spirits in the pre-existence" and vague mumblings about how "we don't fully understand why God has made this distinction" and meaningless promises about how "if you pay your tithing and keep your covenants, God will bless you" and "in the fullness of time, you will be able to have the priesthood in heaven."

None of the answers satisfy Mr. Smith and he decides not to get baptized.

Just a few week later, Spencer W. Kimball's "revelation" is announced. Well, what a surprise! Slap me silly and call me Sally! Turns out that henceforth, beginning at 9 am sharp on June 9, 1978, it will be okay for black people of African descent to get the priesthood and go to the temple.

The young and clueless missionaries who had been teaching Mr. Smith get really excited and beg the bishop to call Mr. Smith to tell him the "good news". The bishop is not excited at all because he knows that he and the church are going to look really stupid and it's going to be really hard to explain why "God" suddenly changed his mind and how everything that the bishop said to Mr. Smith just a couple of weeks ago is now nothing but nonsensical gibberish.

Something that was "doctrine" yesterday, is now just a policy that nobody really ever understood but was strictly enforced anyway for 150 years. How do you explain something like that to Mr. Smith without looking like a complete idiot? But the bishop can't refuse. He has to play along with the missionaries's enthusiasm and pretend like there's nothing wrong.

So he nervously picks up the phone: "Uhhh....hello? Mr. Smith? Remember that conversation that we had a couple of weeks ago? Well...{nervous laugh}...I've got really good news! Hello? Hello? Are you still on the line, Mr. Smith?"

Aaaaaaaawwwwwkwaaaaard!

I'm surprised there were any.

I've told the story before. I hated the policy, couldn't understand it (as you stated). I worked with my current boyfriend on that very day. He came up to my desk to tell me that he heard on the radio that the lds church had changed their doctrine and would now allow blacks to hold the priesthood. I told him I was thrilled!! I still remember the day clearly.

In the end, whether or not they had come up with the changes in marriage a month before my daughter got married, she still would have wanted to get married in the temple, not just sealed. It would have caused issues. It took me a few days to come to terms with it, but I realized that when I got married, with my indoctrination, I would have wanted to be married in the temple. I was fine with her getting married in the temple UNTIL my aunt decided to write the e-mail she did to me. I have to admit, though, that it was BIZARRE to be there at the temple. Didn't realize how weird it would be.

What I can say is I'M HAPPY THAT ELDER BERRY might have the opportunity to not go through it.

And for all those kids who were raised to believe that the temple marriage was the ULTIMATE. And they don't know what goes on in there, what the wedding really is like in there, better than Disney, and now they are supposed to get married outside the temple, let alone keep it low key, and I can see so many of them using the stake center rather than a beautiful place. But the pressure on the bride and groom by family who can't attend. I think it will take a while for some people to come to terms with this. My real wedding didn't start until I was taking pictures OUTSIDE the temple and the reception. That long BORING talk by the officiator. I about passed out from kneeling so long. And that is no lie. My legs wouldn't stop shaking I had been kneeling so long. My boyfriend's son's wedding was beautiful as I've said. GORGEOUS. And I got to attend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2019 11:17AM by cl2.

On the "pro" side, a temple wedding is legally recognized under U.S. law.

On the "con" side, it is a total letdown. I attended my son's temple wedding (I was the only person in the extended family who had a TR, and that took some doing.) It is very "cookie cutter," formulaic. The officiant wasn't anyone we knew. There is no music, no flowers, no bridesmaids in pretty dresses.

DIL couldn't wear her beautiful wedding dress in the temple; it was only allowed at the reception.

I remember thinking how a temple wedding is so hyped up - a pinnacle experience. Huh.

I also wonder how Black people can convert to Mormonism, especially if they study anything about the racist teachings and the priesthood ban. As for Mormon weddings, some even have bridesmaids, but that's mostly for the pictures and reception when the brides can wear something other than a temple dress or have the reception/picture dress covered up with that bastardized Masonic apron and ugly veil.

amazing pressure levels.

A few months ago, the 1-year wait was something that was "required by God". That's right! God. It was not something the leaders necessarily wanted, but they had to obey God! Their hands were tied. It was the way God wanted them to do things in order to ensure that everyone would see how important it is to do things the right way and get married in the temple and only in the temple.

NOW...in lockstep...everyone is supposed to immediately forget that just a few months ago the 1-year mandatory waiting period was something that was required by God.

NOW...on cue...EVERYONE is supposed to "remember" that the mandatory 1-year waiting period was just a "policy" or maybe even just a "practice" that was never necessary for anything.

Everyone is also supposed to be happy, happy, happy about the change and how it's such a great thing (like feeling happy, happy, happy when your friend stops hitting you on the back of the head...what a relief!). But everyone is also not supposed to feel like there was ever anything wrong about the leaders forcing tremendous suffering, inconvenience and embarrassment on mixed-faith families due to the erstwhile "policy" or "practice".

No need to dwell on the past. No need to dwell on the past....

It's literally insane.

About 42 years too late because it excluded most of my in-laws from enjoying their daughter’s, sister’s and aunt’s wedding. Shameful practice

My wedding was sad because my non member siblings and dad had to wait outside the temple for a really long time. We forgot the marriage licence and send someone back to the house to get the marriage licence (we bought a marriage licence about 1 month earlier or so). The sealer yelled at me for being disrespectful to everyone by forgetting to bring the marriage licence. It was a Saturday afternoon at a popular temple and it seamed that brides were everywhere. That mishap of forgetting to bring the licence pushed the ceremony back about 45 minutes. After the sealing we were instructed that we could kiss but not make out that we should remember that we are in the house of the lord. My wedding dress had cap sleeves and I needed put long sleeves under it during the sealing ceremony. After the sealing we drove to his parents house for a ring ceremony so that my father and siblings could attend. The bishop and his wife who had 5 or 6 children at the time who hired a babysitter so that they could attend our wedding at the temple after the sealing drove to the house to officiate the ring ceremony (I feel bad for how things went that I took everyones time). How I wished that I could have had a civil wedding with friends and family and a week later a sealing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT8BaodEigM

Did they think they were being humorous? How disgusting! And then they got angry because you forgot your license. I loved being berated in the temple. It always made such a nice impression to be treated poorly while in "the house of the lord." I never had a good experience in the temple. There was always some person in charge who found it their job to be RUDE.

It was your wedding day! I don't care if you forgot your license. Treat the bride with respect. They treated me poorly in the bride's room. They wanted to do something about my sleeves, too, but then my mom showed up. My mom was not a social person, was very awkward, but she was an ADULT and they shut right up and quit badgering me. I didn't go back to the bride's dressing room. I had someone else go get my stuff. Here they pushed the bride's dressing room as such a special place.

My big day felt like a big let down. The hairdresser put in my veil before we got to the temple. I got endowed the day before. So we had to pull out that veil and put the temple clothing veil on my head instead that messed up my hairdo (I had long curly hair up in a bridal bun). My garments were too big we had to put pins in so that it would not slip under the dress. The sleeves messed up even more. The bride dressing room was crowded. My father and brothers were waiting outside the temple. My mother was yelling at me how stupid I could be to forgot my marriage licence. I was about to start to cry. A temple worker was assigned to me she pulled me aside and hugged me that it will be ok that I can be with my husband for eternity. Without that wonderful woman I would have cried. I remember telling her how sorry I was for forgetting the licence and ruining her Saturday. She was sweet and said that over 18 years ago she was a nervous bride too and she enjoys working with the brides on that special day. Sealing done. We go to the celestial room my mom still very upset that my dad is waiting outside. The drive from the temple to the house my husband is driving, I am sitting on the passenger side and my mother is sitting behind us yelling at me in the middle seat. The entire day was very upsetting.