I've always wished that Mormon testimonies would close with "and that is how stupid I am" as in:

"I think that I know what happened in a forest down by the river in 1834, without a doubt. I also live my life according to the eternal principles, that change all the time, that brothers and sisters is how stupid I am, amen"

" Whenever I am presented with a challenge to Mormonism I like to remember that we don't have all the answers, as the come line upon line, it is also helpful to remember that our leaders are men that can err, at the same time I like to believe that we have the fullness of the restored gospel and our leaders cannot lead us astray, these two opposite worldviews live in my head at all times because after a lifetime of stupidity, this is where I am, this is how stupid I am, amen"

" I like to to handle my finances by never using logic: I like to think that the more money I give to the church the better off I will be, this of course has only resulted in constant and escalating debt and living off charity, but I continue to do it, becuase that is how stupid I am, amen."

" I know that racism is wrong , while also a doctrine, while also never taught by the church, while I look the other way on written proof of all of this, becuase I am an idiot, this is how stupid I am, amen."

"I have found fulfillment is leaving all important medical, marital, financial, moral, dietary, and legal decisions to a guy in my neighborhood that is marginally employed and makes 17k a year and did not finish high school, because he was given an imaginary mantle, I am that stupid"

"I pretend that the gospel was restored to be the original, so we can change it all the time, I'd also like to thank my parents for raising me to not think for myself, that is how stupid I am."

"I spend days and nights thinking and reading things that will prevent me from being exposed to facts, so I can believe a lie and call it true, this is what Jesus wants, this is how stupid I am, amen"

"I am so thankful that I get to think that it rained today because of my prayers last year, yes, I am that stupid, amen"

"I skip any verses in the scriptures that don't fit the lesson plan, becuase I am a student of truth, this, brothers and sisters is how stupid I am"

"I like to listen to recycled platitudes and cry and pretend it is the voice of God, yes, I am, THAT stupid, amen"

" I live by this adage, brothers: if something bad happens to someone that is not a member, it is a punishment from god, if the exact same scenarios happens to me, it is a trial from god becuase he loves me so much, I am that stupid"

I think that it would inspire others to share their feelings, create a space for introspection and bring many to repent of so many wrong decisions.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2019 04:01PM by sb.

LOL !
:D

Well when you put it like that, Mormonism doesn't sound all that great. Haha.


"I Like to think that the more money I give to the church the better off I will be . . . " Hahhaha

Real story from my family this week:

My mom's father, now in his 70's received some VA money in the amount of 20K.

My little brother lost his job and is trying to save up for a down payment.

So this moron donates 2k to the church in addition to his other 2k he gave for tithing on the money so the lord will bless my little brother in getting the money he needs. He called us to humble brag about how pleased the bishop was and how the bishop promised that my brother will "get blessings"

This is how stupid my mom's father is.

You hear that phrase all the time for the stuff you need to face-palm for, "You can't make this stuff up."

But the thing with Mormons is, you don't have to make anything up. They provide endless reasons for the face palm and eyerolls we treasure.

Poignant and funny at the same time.

Well said. :)

"I pretend that the gospel was true and went back to church and on a mission, married in the temple, and brought children into believing its lies even after I realized it was a lie in my teens and there were no Nephites and Lamanites, I'd also like to thank my parents for raising me to not think for myself, that is how stupid I am."