I was shocked.
My fiance's OBGYN was her Bishop.
Her Stake Prez was her Mom's OBGYN.
They were partners and pretty much had a corner on the MORmON mommy market where she grew up and where we lived for 25yrs.
When I resigned guess who dropped by for a visit? My wife's Gynocologist/Bishop and my Nazi TBM evil MIL's Attorney/Stake Prezident/Area Authority.
Who turned out to be no authority on anything but making emotion appeals, rather than giving me any answer to my questions.
He actually told me my wife was a virgin before I married her.
Like he personally certified she was prime beef,
WTF?
I was shocked.

I would have been shocked too.

What the heck??

Just for fun, did you think to say, “No, she wasn’t!”



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2019 09:59PM by kathleen.

It would have been a classic response.

scmd1 Wrote:
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> It would have been a classic response.

I agree!!

scmd1 Wrote:
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> It would have been a classic response.
I couldn't even speak.
I seriously remember thinking, uh, TM and who brings this up?
Now un hindsight I wish I woulda said, "How can you tell me this?
As if thats my business?
I'm not a virgin, as if that mattered.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/19/2019 12:33AM by schrodingerscat.

Ugh. TMI! Can’t believe someone would say that but it fits with a lot of the weird moron thinking about relationships. It seems almost like he was showing off, knowing that. :(

mel Wrote:
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> It seems almost like he was
> showing off, knowing that.

I agree with this.

It was male-on-male dominance: "I've been there before you, therefore I am a bigger [take this any way you choose] man than you will ever be, 'cause *I* got there first!"

Exactly. He was letting you (the secondary male) know that he has access first and knows exactly what you will be seeing and doing. It's a power thing.

There was a doctor who worked at a hospital I worked for who delivered his daughter's babies.

My doctor was the same way. I thought it was very bizarre.

cl2 Wrote:
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> There was a doctor who worked at a hospital I
> worked for who delivered his daughter's babies.

It's traditional for relatives to help deliver babies - how do you think they did it in villages in the old days?

If you've ever witnessed a woman giving birth, there's nothing erotic about it.

Me going to my father as an OB. NOT ON YOUR LIFE. Going to the bishop in my ward, HELL NO!

Actually, it was a relative of my husband who delivered our twins C-SECTION. He is a descendent of the same polygamist great grandfather. But I didn't know that at the time, but I still would have gone to him as they didn't even know each other. My SIL wouldn't go to him because he reminded her too much of her father. I barely knew their father as I stayed my distance from him. His parents were beyond nuts.

I have since then gone to a female doctor. My mother told me that was sick and I told her that I found going to a male doctor as sick compared to a female doctor.

Of course I've seen women having babies. Who the hell cares if it isn't erotic. It is INTIMATE. Why don't you go put your legs up in stirrups and see how you feel. Maybe some women don't feel like I do, but it was traumatic to me. I was thrilled I got to have a C-section.

P.S. Per history I've read, the women delivered the babies in the "old days."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2019 10:30AM by cl2.

My father-in-law is an OBGYN, and he's quite skilled, but there would have been no way in hell that my wife would have allowed him to deliver our babies. He wouldn't have wanted to do so, either.

C12 is correct that back in the day, when relatives typically attended the mother in her confinement, it was female relatives who did so.

She had regular OB checks for all four pregnancies and was deemed a strong candidate for home birth (low risk of complications). We actually had two midwifes, a senior and one in training. Everything was carefully prepared, from favorite comfort food to having the bed made with regular linens, then a shower curtain, then more sheets--after delivery, we could strip the soiled linens, and have a clean bed already made.

So I attended each birth, and actually caught my two sons and two daughters, all healthy and now fully grown.

Myself, I would have died and lost my 2 babies had I had a midwife and home delivery. They were "transverse lie" and couldn't be delivered normally. The doctor had told me long before I had them that they would most likely be C-section as my son was breech before he changed to transverse. There wasn't enough room for them to move enough to be regular births. I heard HORROR stories of twin births and I was scared to death of what could happen to my babies.

My ex was there and he about passed out when they were sewing me up. He was there longer than he was supposed to be as they had 2 babies to prepare to go to the nursery. They had to sit him down and put his head between his legs. He has a weak stomach!! My twins were 3-1/2 weeks early and had to stay in the hospital almost a week for bilirubin. I had toxemia/preeclampsia and was quite ill.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2019 11:55AM by cl2.

Mormons crossing personal boundaries like it is going out of style. It is not going to stop people. Fight back against the cult in every aspect.

Reminds me of the old joke when the doctor says "your wife has acute angina"

and the husband replies " I know that.Now what's wrong with her?"


Sorry, couldn't resist it writing this.

It’s so weird nobody’s thought of it for a screenplay. It’s so wildly inappropriate it’s funny.

It’s creepy to go to the same ward as your GYN. He sounds like a pervert. He’s bragging in a way, that he got to touch her. Sounded like he enjoyed “ examining “ her.

Strikes me as something that could be actionable, if you're that bothered, "Cat." Maybe with a professional board.

This depends upon schrodingerscat's location, but in the U.S., the statute of limitations for HIPAA violations is six years. Schrodingers cat alluded to having lived in the location with his wife for twenty-five years. I might have misinterpreted the remarks, but my impression was that this happened awhile ago. Most likely the statute of limitations has passed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2019 02:09PM by scmd1.

That's my impression as well.

Kori and I have known each other (via the internet) for well over a decade, and I recall when his marriage foundered. If I recall correctly, that was over six years ago--so the S/L would almost certainly have passed.

Of course, he can correct me if I have any of this wrong.

I would think this qualifies as a HIPAA violation.

But, that silly stuff doesn't apply to mormons.

A question: is there no such thing as an obligation to maintain medical confidentiality in the US?

In France, this would be grounds for a doctor to lose their licence to practice. "Le secret médical" is heavily enforced and therefore closely respected over here.

In Utah, not so much?

Tom in Paris.
Edited to add: Sorry, I hadn't seen Wowza's post. Is that what he/she/neither means by HIPAA?

Thanks



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2019 06:40AM by Soft Machine.

Soft Machine Wrote:
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Sorry, I hadn't seen Wowza's post.
> Is that what he/she/neither means by HIPAA?
>
> Thanks


Info on the security of info/privacy asoect of the HIPAA legislation:

https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/security/laws-regulations/index.html

I am currently back in grad school training for a new career as a speech-language pathologist, and even working merely as a student trainee in our university clinic, I am bound by HIPAA laws. As an example, I could be written up for using anything other than a client's initials to refer to him or her in an email to a supervisor, even if I only used the client's first name, and even if I discussed zero details about the client's situation in the email. And that's just speech pathology! The regulations are that strict. I am utterly disgusted an OB-GYN would do this.

"He actually told me my wife was a virgin before I married her."

Did he discern that using a speculum?

It was awhile ago, but it never really occured to me how fucked up it was to have her Bishop/Gynocologist tell me my fiance was a virgin before I married her, and counsel us to not put off having kids for worldly pursuits, education, career, material wealth.
And the really fucked up thing is she was in the same room when he said it. I looked at her and she had this strange approving smile on her face, like she'd finally received the recognition she had saved herself for all those horny nights and now she was certified US Grade A Prime beef.
I just thought, WTF? How does one determine that if she used tampons? Wouldn't that break the hymen?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2019 01:09PM by schrodingerscat.

It would've shocked the hell out of me as well. It was none of his bleeping business. Furthermore, whatever privacy expectations your future wife had of her virginity should have been kept under wraps between herself and her future husband.

But then to be a TBM you give up your privacy rights at the door.

Who will certify my junk?

Bwaaa-Ha-ha-Ha-ha-ha!!

My friend broke her hymen, jumping off the high dive. I couldn't use tampons when I was a virgin. Everyone is different.

I agree that that OB-GYN was waaaay across the boundaries, discussing her hymen with you or anyone else. I wonder if he recorded that in her chart? I'm sure this was illegal then, as it is now.

Yes, it was a demonstration of power and superiority over you and over your fiancé also.

Are you familiar with Cl2's story? It's disgusting, how the cult can interfere in the most intimate aspects of the lives of the Mormon member/victims--and ruin those lives.

schrodingerscat Wrote:
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> [Dr. Bishop] told me my wife was a virgin before I married her.
>

I could have told you that.

How about afterward?

That's the real question!

Did they check you too?

Just checking.

moremany Wrote:
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> schrodingerscat Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > told me my wife was a virgin before I married
> her.
> >
>
> I could have told you that.
>
> How about afterward?
>
> That's the real question!
>
> Did they check you too?
>
> Just checking.

Lol, I shoulda whipped out my Johnson and flopped it on his desk and said, "Hey am I a virgin?"
Right in front of my fiance.
Woulda saved me a divorce. .

You know, Mormons often tout that it is a good thing that their bishops, stake presidents and other local leaders have their day jobs. But this type of situation illustrates exactly why that is really bad (leaving aside the piss poor medical ethics on his part generally).

When I was growing up, my bishop was also the co-owner of the business I worked at. Some of the time I worked there, I was a manager, so I reported directly to him as well. That makes confessing anything extremely awkward--for both people. This is when there's something to be said for having the priest stand somewhat apart from matters other than your spiritual welfare.

Not after you(bishop) had your dirty paws on her she wasn't.