When I was a member of the LDS, I felt like my shoulders and hands would be worn down from all the unrequested back slapping, excessive hand shaking, being pumped by fist, hand slapping and inappropriate hugging.

I would be walking down the corridor when suddenly a hand would appear on my shoulder out of nowhere. Fortunately my rapid self-defense reflexes rarely came into play otherwise that unwanted physical contact with slight acquaintances would have ended up coming into contact with the nearest wall or floor.

Even the children seemed to be being inducted into sloppy behavior. I was regularly called upon to slap the outstretched hand of some rowdy infant.

And wherever I looked in sacrament meeting, I would saw more lengthy back rubs and shoulder clenching than anywhere else except perhaps a massage parlor.

For me it wasn't so much the unwanted contact, though I didn't like that either, it was the hollow artificial nature of the contact. Everyone seemed to need to join in the appearance of being a warm and inviting group, and yet, it was almost never shown outside of the church house. And we never socialized with those same people, that for all appearances, were the closest of friends. Of course, I live outside of Utah and Idaho, where there are few mormons to start with, so you might have a different experience in the sense that you always see other ward members wherever you go, and have to put on the same pretense.

Yes, this. When I last went to a funeral, I hugged the son of the lady who died, because I like the family, and have known him for years. It's a bit different when someone you barely know does this to you. But even then I don't make it go on for a beat too long.

Human touch shouldn't be a bad thing unless intended as such. I had no problem with this aspect of Mormonism. We probably evolved from groomers and yet this is seen by you as an affront today. None of what you describe in my opinion is abusive or intrusive because you control it. You need only tell people that your body is a temple they have no recommend for and can't get.

anybody Wrote:
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> n/t

Could well be! It would make sense, all that fumbling around the neckline!

wow... I've never heard of anyone who complained about the

physical contact. Interesting.

saucie Wrote:
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> wow... I've never heard of anyone who complained
> about the
>
> physical contact. Interesting.

I don't mind occasional physical contact with people I know, but if it is people I barely know then that's a different thing.

I think it's also inappropriate to sneak up behind someone like some of them do.

If somebody were to come up behind me, and me unaware, and slap me on the back the possibility of a hospital stay for them is 100%

thedesertrat1 Wrote:
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> If somebody were to come up behind me, and me
> unaware, and slap me on the back the possibility
> of a hospital stay for them is 100%

I am a Number One Touch person [*], which (among other things) means that I do NOT like being touched by people I do NOT want to touch me. Were it me, I would be hyper-sensitive to what Jordan describes, and that alone (had I ever been Mormon) would have had me sprinting at top speed towards the exits.

[*] The Five Love Languages (in my opinion, a "must read" book by Gary Chapman) are: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

After years of observation of others, Paul and I have added one additional Love Language that, to those to whom this is important, it is vital: Special Occasions (could be things like birthdays and anniversaries, or holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving or Halloween--or, for some people, special, meaningful, personal or couple commemorations like the anniversary of the day a couple first met or became serious).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/27/2019 12:43PM by Tevai.

It's the back rubbing and massaging that seems over the top to me. But some families are more intimate than others.

The back rubs are just something Mormon couples do in Sacrament Meeting because they are bored out of their minds.

Two different types of touches... the MORmON touch I couldn't stand... forceful... Been sitting with Zen groups... we bow... you have to be aware of each other and facing forward... no onslaughts from behind... the other is the familiar touch which is usually a finger or a hand lightly placed on the shoulder and quickly withdrawn... rarely will someone touch me in those groups that I am unfamiliar with unless it is to get my attention and again it is a quick light tap...

Since I'm a germophobe I don't even like shaking hands.

Yes I've seen that. Creeping up behind someone and then grabbing them goes against one's natural instincts. I've seen this done to some other people and they jump out of their skin!

Thank You! Well try all the damn handshakes several arm injuries that left me with pains even before the handshake.

Broken Wrist, shattered elbow, broken lower arm, Dislocated shoulder,,,, Anyway my arm can not take all the wear and tear of sunday handshake crappolla. I got the rep. of not being very friendly. And was told my handshakes were "fishy".

Sorry I can't keep explaining and I can't have added pain so not to offend.

Don't care

I cant deal with all the Icy Hot either