My wife has a high school-era friend in town. Years ago this friend told Mrs. Boner that she found me offensive (because I left the cult). My wife invited the friend and her family to go out dinner. I declined. My reason, “I don’t find it fun to be around people who find me offensive.” I don’t mind that my wife has her as a friend. But, really, she expects me to associate with TBM smug self-righteous mother-in-heaven wanna-be? The Offensive Boner.

I wouldn't want to participate in such an event, either. What sort of person says such a thing to one's spouse?

It truly is bizarre, the assumption that an outsider somehow has the authority (probably church-derived) to cross boundaries in so gross a way.

I love that reference "Mrs. Boner" what it brings to the imagination! But I agree the subtle prejudices this women has would make the interaction unpleasant. I wouldn't go either.

I delight in knowing that if a high school friend of Saucie critiqued me to her, Saucie would find a creatively insulting way to inform her an apology was required...

And of course, it works that way for me, as well.

The great, entertaining Boner, you should of gone out anyway. We all could of used the laugh later. You could of really showed her what “ offensive “ means. She hasn’t seen anything yet. You always have a lot of good ideas up your sleeve and would of fixed her obnoxious attitude for good.
Saucie would of been more than happy to give you some ideas too. That would of been an interesting inner party

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The great, entertaining Boner, you should of gone
> out anyway. We all could of used the laugh later.
> You could of really showed her what “ offensive
> “ means. She hasn’t seen anything yet. You
> always have a lot of good ideas up your sleeve and
> would of fixed her obnoxious attitude for good.
> Saucie would of been more than happy to give you
> some ideas too. That would of been an
> interesting inner party

Hahahahahaha you've been watching me haven't you Hockyrat??? I love it.

Saucie, just say that I like your style, double that when the Dog is around too

If she’s still in the Church, things are probably still the same, unless she’s only still going for someone else. Sometimes having family members leave , makes them even more stubborn . They have to save what little they have left. I’m sure Boner will tell us all after the event.

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Saucie, just say that I like your style, double
> that when the Dog is around too


The feeling is mutual Luv. Thank you .

Do you think they might've mellowed with time? Or got more set in their bigoted ways? It may be that they've had their own family members leave TSCC, and it might have softened their views ...

Or they're still stuck in the same ole rut they always were ....

Cheers 2U sans pseudo friends who only like you when you belong to their pseudo religion.

One nice thing about us ex-Mormons is we understand that they belong to a bleeping weirdo cult. You'll have more fun staying home watching your favorite tv show while having your own favorite dinner or night out with your Lutheran church group lol.

I don’t know if she’s mellowed toward me. Quite frankly, I’m the type of guy who likes cats, hugs, and romantic movies. Yes, I do infrequently cuss :) but what’s not to like? It’s no as though I shared my secret RFM name! Hugs Amyjo.

Hugs back.

It has to take great coping skills to stay in a marriage with a TBM who has friends like that.

What’s wrong with having friends who treat you like you’re mentally challenged?

Mormons just love to feel superior.

I think you made a good call, Boner.

Yes, good call, but it still makes you hesitate. After all, my Mormon neighbors used to be perceived as "friends." I kept at it too long, and would try to mingle with them socially at weddings, Christmas parties, etc. I thought maybe I was the one who needed an attitude change. But, y'know, even if they didn't insult me directly like your wife's rude friend insulted you, they would talk like Mormons. They would gossip about people I didn't know, which was just boring, and made me feel left out. It was worse when they would gossip about people I did know, and I couldn't help rising to their defense. They were so cruel!

They still tell racist jokes! Yes, this was just last Christmas. They openly criticize gays. They make fun of women's rights activists. They hate Pelosi. They hate Trump, yet they all voted for him. They don't talk about their kids-why not? I wanted to know what had happened to my children's friends, and to the kids I taught in Sunday School, but could get nothing out of them. Then, I realized that there was nothing to brag about. Most of their kids had left the cult, or had gotten fried-out on drugs, or were still living in the basement. None of them had pets, so we couldn't exchange humorous pet stories. I didn't discuss business or finance with them, because so many of them were MLM scammers, or just untrustworthy, in general. I had no interest in exchanging jell-o recipes. None of them were outdoor people, especially. Their idea of good music was the MoTab choir, and their church had "discouraged" the many different kinds of music I love. What was there to talk about? Silence left me with nothing but negative vibes. Yeah, it took me a while to figure out that I was with people who disliked me--for no reason--because they never really did know me. I was just "that divorced apostate who took her children out with her."

It took me a longer while to realize that I did not really like them, either! Being around that negativity depresses me. I just let it all go, with a text or phone call, saying, "I won't be able to come to your party. Have a Happy Fourth of July, or Merry Christmas, or whatever. I made no excuses. I did not say I was "sorry." I politely wished them well. Those people had never been worth the trouble, the guilt, the obligation. They took away more than they brought to my life. I could never help them, or be their friend, because they didn't respect me enough to let me in.

I would have been a hopeless introvert, had I not had real, good non-Mormon and ex-Mormon friends from my past, from work, from out-of-state, and some ex-Mormon relatives. I could compare fake friendship to real friendship.

Life's too short to bother with people who bring you down.

(I wouldn't bother with anyone who brings down someone I love, either.)

Can't blame you at all for that. Sounds about as much fun as a proctology appointment.

I'm offended that the friend is offended.

EB, you are making the right decision to not go. I have suffered through some horrorfests like that over the years. Those encounters were ordeals, and I always came away feeling tired, angry, and hurt.These days you couldn't pay me to to agree to something like that. Take care of yourself and follow your gut feelings.