Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Concrete Zipper ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 01:51PM

Greetings fellow exmos!

Although we hate to ask for money, the cost realities of hosting, bandwidth, etc. require us to have the occasional fundraiser. Our last one was in April of 2018, and it's time to do it again.

Please use the Paypal donation button you can see by scrolling to the bottom of the home page: https://www.exmormon.org
You can use a credit card or your Paypal account (if you have one). If you want to pay by check or money order, you can send that directly to our ISP:

Wingnet
P.O. Box 2605, Cleveland, TN, 37320
Make sure to write "For exmormon.org" in the memo field so that they know to credit it to us.

No one is required to donate. This is strictly voluntary and we're not going to push anyone into doing it. If you're broke, then don't worry about giving your "widow's mite". The site does need money, but not badly enough to harm a donor. However, if you do have the money and you feel that the world is better with exmormon.org up and running, then a donation would be greatly appreciated.

Remember that no one in our administrative/moderator cadre gets paid for their work. We are strictly volunteers. All of the donated money goes to paying expenses involved in running the site.

We will post an anonymized list of donations as they come in. We will also pull down this request as soon as we have enough money for the coming year.

Thank you for your continued support and generosity!

CZ (grateful admin)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2019 03:03PM by Concrete Zipper.

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Posted by: Dead Cat ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 02:01PM

Please post directions for paying by mail for those of us so inclined.

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Posted by: I used stolen tithings! ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 02:11PM

when I hit the contribute button, I got a message that said my $6.66 went directly to Erik's "I'm going to Bali" fund...

What's up with that?!!!

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 02:13PM

I sense a great disturbance in the Farce!

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 02:57PM

I'll gladly celebrate RfM's 22nd anniversary online with a donation to help keep it running !!!

Viva la RfM !!!

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 03:09PM

I will definitely contribute to this great exmormon site. Eric, et al, provide a wonderful service, not only for the Exmormon community at large, but current "Mormon" LDS members who are questioning, non-member friends and family of Mormons, and a myriad of others. This is an international venture and one that has made significant impact for good.

I thank you Eric and all others of your staff, and I know that I echo the tremendous gratitude and appreciation of everyone. I have personally found great cathartic recovery and insight from this site by way of the interaction, the shared common experiences, stories, and insights from others.

Eric you are a great man and a generous kind hearted human being. I hope I have the pleasure of meeting you someday and wish you and your staff long and prosperous lives.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 04:21PM

Done. Thanks for all you and Erik and Susan and Maude and Tevia and and and...do.

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Posted by: subeamnotlogedin ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 04:59PM

Donated. You helped me leave Mormonism 6 years ago. Thank you!

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 08, 2019 06:03PM

Wow - Thanks so much already. I have been out with family issues and found this. Since we are on a dedicated server and have a daily backed up system with custom software, our fee is $196 a month on average. We keep this fund raising to once a year and hopefully last a few days.

So far in just a few hours (paypal takes a small cut so your contribution looks slightly less):

$200
$6.66
$50
$25
$20

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Posted by: memikeyounot ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 12:18AM

Happy to donate a few measly $$$$ to a good fund and website. I appreciate all of the efforts the owner and the moderators put into keeping this site going.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 12:56AM

Done.

Thank you, everyone!!

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 01:31AM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 01:43AM

Get the NPR bumper sticker. Your friends will be mightily impressed!

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 01:31PM

At the Institute of Higher Humility,* I learned that you share that information only with select necessary and influential people.

*...where I earned my Master of Humility degree, summa cum laude.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 01:57PM

Oh come on, caffiend. We all know you are a dedicated Terry Gross fan.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 02:49PM

Fresh air? Hot Air? Taxpayer subsidized flatulence.

I'm so old, I can remember when "Public Radio" didn't sell advertising. Heck, I'm so old I cam remember when Garrison Keilor was funny.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 03:03PM

Wow, that is old! I was more Car Talk than Terry Gross, and I don’t do bumper stickers—other than once for the family gym.

Perhaps that is virtue signaling too.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:09PM

The night my police flag was (black & white stripes, with one blue) was stolen, a death threat was spraypainted on a commercial building one block away. In my neighborhood, a bumpersticker is leading with the chin.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:25PM

I'd say bumper stickers are often "leading with the chin" although the way people hit may differ. There's so little reason to engage in such exhibitionism.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:35PM

There was an NPR contributor* who correctly predicted the 2016 national election. He drove across the country, west to east, and stayed off the interstates, using US & state routes the entire way. He based his prediction on a non-statistical, impersonal observation or yard signs.

*And yes, I do listen to NPR. (Shock!)

Fun fact: Click and Clack always had the questions ahead of broadcast. They were reviewed via letter, and Click and Clack could research the answer. Then the producer connected with the question on the phone, and the Tappett Brothers could answer authoritatively. Hope that doesn't disillusion you. (I also thought their jokes sucked, and the laughter was very fake.)

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:51PM

I know you listen to NPR. It is evident in some of your other posts but particularly in what you write in this thread.

This may shock you, but I am old enough to remember Terry Gross's hit job on Bill O'Reilly. I despise the man but felt that what she did was pathetically unfair and was glad to see her chastened. As for Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, I spent many a day driving to soccer games with that on as one of my children laughed his little head off. It was good entertainment, much better than the Land Where All Children Are Above Average.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 04:39AM by Lot's Wife.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:53AM


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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 01:33PM

Happy to contribute! Thanks for all you do.

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Posted by: cricket ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 05:03PM


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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 11:56AM


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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:46PM

My check is in the mail.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 05:44AM

Shamelessly topping to ask how far we've got.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 06:41AM

Actually very little. This is an older style site with a dedicated server and full daily backups and our expenses are just under $2400 per year. We have raised just under $600. We appreciate the donations. We received $51.00 on Tuesday. Nothing on Weds. Our net balance after paying for July will be $581.00 - about 3 months of operation that will last us until October.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 01:15PM

Another reason the fundraiser may be slow right now is it's the middle of July. Many people are on vacation, maybe home with the kids or visiting grandparents, or away from home, traveling, etc.

Maybe do a booster or another drive in another month or two when people get back in their regular routines again. Just a thought, if it's been slower than usual.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 01:51PM

Great suggestion!

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Posted by: bezoar ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 01:50PM

I've been following RfM for probably close to 20 years now. I don't post often, but for me RfM has been an incredible source of information on Mormonism, especially details on doctrine and history where the official mormon position is "I don't know that we teach that." (Yes, you do, and here are 20 references from official LDS publications that show that you do.)

I think everyone is overlooking the most obvious reason why fundraising is slow. Rfm today is nothing like it was in the past. Now many posts consist mostly of infighting and arguing between posters. I thought the recent post on the Hong Kong temple closing for remodeling would be interesting. But no, most of the thread was a pissing contest between posters arguing and insulting each other about mainland China.

In my opinion the site moderators have lost control of RfM, and RfM in it's current state is not something I have any desire to support financially. The climate on RfM has become just as toxic as every other form of media today.

My suggestion is for the moderators to regain control over RfM and clean it up, THEN restart your fundraising. RfM in it's current state is something I don't want to be associated with.

I'm done with RfM.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 03:45PM

Concrete Zipper is in charge. We both along with other admins are tired of certain posters. One was given a private warning letter yesterday. Politics needs to go away. No one gets convinced it seems in political arguments.

I have been trying to turn this site over. I have been doing this 20+ years. My music, playing in multiple groups, and finally breaking down from all the calls to do some engineering consulting in the power industry is keeping me extremely busy. I kept getting calls and repeatedly said I was retired for 3 years now from engineering. I relented 2 months ago by giving an obscene hourly rate and was then asked "When can you start?" It is nice adding a bit to the bank account. I am only working 16 hours per week nearby. If more than that, I will quit and they know that. They seem very happy getting those hours and it is enough to tire me out. A nap in the afternoon then on to music. This site has far less of my time.

My mother has dementia and is in a nursing home close to us. That is exhausting as well.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2019 03:48PM by Eric K.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 11, 2019 02:05PM

Probably many of us didn't want to say it...

> My suggestion is for the
> moderators to regain control
> over RfM and clean it up,
> THEN restart your fundraising.
> RfM in it's current state is
> something I don't want to be
> associated with.
>
>I'm done with RfM.


I'm not done with RfM, but I'm sure looking for alternatives. C'mon, mods, start kicking ass and taking names. The more you let things get out of control, the less people who LIKE control will be spending time here. Most of us enjoying predictability. We don't want to be shaken up, reoriented, etc.

And how about limiting us to one OT thread a week? ...or some such...

And you know those F&TM people who drone on and on about some issue in their life that has nothing to do with mormonmism, or is not unique to mormonism? How about cutting them off at the pass when some minimum number of complaints are lodged?

I DO want to hear about how a BYU Law School grad made it out of the church and climbed up his/her ladder of success, but do not want to hear about how hard it was to become a member of the Sons of Moctezuma.

And a chatroom! There are chatroom 'attachments' to the website that are free and do not drain bandwidth from the main site. Of course now we're talking the Wild West...

<deep breath> that felt good!

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 12, 2019 05:32AM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> And how about limiting us to one OT thread a week?
> ...or some such...
>
One exception must be allowed: Ziller!
> And you know those F&TM people who drone on and on
> about some issue in their life that has nothing to
> do with mormonmism, or is not unique to mormonism?

This will be tough. Did you notice we've had an increased in "dear departed" threads--family and pets? On the one hand, it's good to reach out and lend support. This is a community. OTOH, they are distracting. A true slippery slope.
>
> I DO want to hear about how a BYU Law School grad
> made it out of the church and climbed up his/her
> ladder of success, but do not want to hear about
> how hard it was to become a member of the Sons of
> Moctezuma.
>
> And a chatroom! There are chatroom 'attachments...' Of course now we're talking the Wild West...

As Susan pointed out.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 12, 2019 01:16AM

Erik, Zipper, others--

Thanks for your time, effort, and patience. Although not ex-LDS, the cult fascinates me profoundly, and I am now very attached to (and sometimes very annoyed by) many of the regulars. I can only hope my feelings are reciprocated.

There are other software out there for a discussion board. If enough money were raised, and you could locate and enlist the talent, there are formats which would allow threads to be grouped by categories and sub-categories, register members to PM each other, create detailed profiles, and maybe images and graphics. My (now archived) ex-Christian Science had that. With PMs and chat rooms, people could take their personal vendettas off the board and have at each other out of public sight, as it were.

Give it some thought. Frankly, this format looks like something dating back to Windows 95! Sorry to be harsh, but it is a very bare-bones setup.

I think the biggest challenge would be exporting the years of posts and articles to the new format--but I'm very uninformed on this.

PS I'll get my $$ off in tomorrow's mail.

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: July 12, 2019 04:31AM

There is a lot of history here that many don't know. We did a "OT/Chat" board and it was horrible. More work than the main board even though it was registered only. We had board wars on our own damn site. Many other boards have had horrible problems with PM systems. Accusations of Mods reading them, Mods proven to have read them, selling drugs, inappropriate sexual stuff, you name it. Everyone has email, no need for a PM system. Images and graphics are turned off. Porn to crime scene and autopsy pics. Detailed Profiles? A lot of people have good reasons for keeping IRL info private. Hence, the BIG RULE of never giving out IRL info of others. Ever. That is what FaceBook is for. Splitting things off into categories doesn't work well. By keeping everything together it gives people a chance to find something they wouldn't seek out. It also has the propensity of dividing the community

There are many many many software programs out there. Over 20 years we have looked at more than I can count. Many do not allow anonymity, a huge issue. This runs lean and mean with what we turned off and it works on phones, old systems and places where people have sketchy service.

This is not just something we have used since Windows 95, it is the best fit we could find out there not spending $1000s for custom ware. This went up September 2010 thanks to a very nice exmo who donated a LOT of time. It has been dependable, a real work horse. It may not be pretty but it gets the job done.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 12, 2019 05:24AM

That's a peak behind a pretty dirty curtain, so I get it. We never had anything like that (that I know about) on the ex-CS site. Anyway, that was closed down before sexting began.

Thanks for explaining.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: July 13, 2019 12:03AM

I just sent my small donation. I've been coming to Rfm since nearly the beginning. So many folks have come and gone. So much drama has happened here over the years. But, I still feel like it is a community of mostly like-minded folks who went through the same things I did. Also, I think I have FOMO, because so many times this is where breaking news...well, breaks.

Thank you Erik, CZ, Maude, S/IS and so many others for what you do.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 13, 2019 03:08PM

Thanks for the donations. After paying the following invoice, we will have about $800.00 in the Paypal account. That will last us 4 months - to Dec - where we may try again with some of the changes, per CZ's decision, on how the board will run. It definitely needs some modification.

Eric

C U S T O M E R S T A T E M E N T
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caldwell Global Communications Statement Generated: 07/11/2019
P.O. Box 2605 Account Number: 3092
Cleveland, TN 37320-2605 Invoice Number: 3092-261
US Tax ID #: 62-1831233
VOICE: 423.559.5465 FAX: 423.559.5145


Transaction Detail Covering 07/01/2019 - 07/11/2019

DATE DESCRIPTION CHG TAX TOTAL
==============================================================================

07/01/2019 Balance Forward 95.76
07/11/2019 CHARGE: 100.00 0.00 100.00
Web Hosting Special 100Mb Rate
Service Name: 'exmormon.org'
from 08/01/2019 to 08/31/2019
Reference Number: 594356
07/11/2019 CHARGE: 5.95 0.00 5.95
Email Hosting 5/5
Service Name: 'exmormon.org'
from 08/01/2019 to 08/31/2019
Reference Number: 594357
07/11/2019 CHARGE: 0.00 0.00 0.00
Complimentary WINGNET Email
Service Name: 'erickett@wingnet.net'
from 08/01/2019 to 08/31/2019
Reference Number: 594379
07/11/2019 CHARGE: 25.00 0.00 25.00
Domain Name Auto-Renewal
Service Name: 'exmormon.org'
from 08/01/2019 to 07/31/2020
Reference Number: 594423
07/11/2019 CHARGE: 65.00 0.00 65.00
Web Hosting Special Rate
Service Name: 'virtual server & backup'
from 08/01/2019 to 08/31/2019
Reference Number: 594461

=========***********************************========

PAST DUE $92.77 DUE IMMEDIATELY
NOT PAST DUE PREVIOUSLY BILLED $2.99
NEW UNPAID CHARGES $195.95 DUE 07/26/2019
-------------
ACCOUNT BALANCE $291.71

If paying by check, please write 'account 3092' in the memo

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Posted by: Tutu KJ not logged in ( )
Date: July 14, 2019 10:50AM

Thank You Eric & all admin

Donated a lil


I appreciate this site

KJ

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Posted by: wondering ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 09:36AM

How is the fundraising doing?

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