This was one of my earlier posts on RFM when I was on_my_way_out_2. Rereading some of my posts, I realize I was quite angry with Ld$ inc.
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Mormonism - "Killer Of Community Service"
Monday, Jun 26, 2006, at 07:02 AM
Original Author(s): On_my_way_out_2
Topic: SERVICE AND CHARITY -Link To MC Article- ↑




Thinking of my former time in Mormonism (40 years), I realized that me, my wife and our kids did NOTHING for our communities in the form of service. In fact, this selfishness extended to charitable giving as well. I am not promoting or endorsing any charitable organization here, I am just relating my experiences with this topic. I also realize that not everyone had the same attitude as we did as mormons.

Community Service:

As a busy mormon, I attended Sunday services, additional church meetings, YM/YW activities (weeknights and often weekends), did HT, attended the temple regularly (whatever that meant?), prepared lessons etc... When all of that was done, coupled with a demanding professional life, I found little time and/or energy left to help with community service opportunities. I would see needs to volunteer with various school, community and kids sporting events but I would "quietly" avoid volunteering. Why? Because I felt I was doing my part with all of my "church service".

This cog-dis has been apparent more since we left the morg and have had conversations about this topic with my FIL. FIL and MIL are very active TBM temple workers. As we talk to them about community service, my FIL feels that he is providing a "spiritual service" to his community by doing temple work (huh?). Of course I disagree because I think he's simply wasting away his prime retirement energy on useless work but I regress!

Since we have left the church we have attempted to correct the error of our ways. We have encouraged our kids and actively sought ways to serve our fellow community friends. Being in the morg eliminated the need for us as parents to find "community service" projects for either ourselves or our kids. Now we have to find them ourselves and it takes a hell of a lot of work. However, it does get easier as we get more experience finding those opportunities.

This also segways into the next area.

Charitable Giving:

Of course any faithful, practicing TBM is a "full" tithe payer. What this means to a community is that "mormons" don't contribute to anything else. In my case we felt that after a 10% tithe, an additional ~1% fast offering, church magazine subscriptions, various donations of items for the "church humanitarian aid projects" or should we say the "church members humanitarian aid projects", potlucks and youth activities etc. we didn't have anything left in our budget. The result is we would snub any other "charitable" giving as much as possible. Often we would get "forced" to donate something but it was done begrudgingly. I know it was a bad thing and we are attempting to right our wrongs with both our kids and our community. Again our logic was based on the false premise that we were already doing our part. Looking back I regret donating so much to one organization. We are now teaching our kids that it is okay to drop a $1 into the red salvation army container at Christmas time or to send $10-$20 into the schoolfor some charity or even to buy GS cookies sometimes. It is really not big deal, but we made it a big deal as morgbots.

Of course I acknowledge that there are exceptions to the rule. However, my personal experience was one of selfishness towards my community in the form of my time and money. No wonder mormons are looked at as "peculiar", we were!

Mormonism is totally self-serving, even when it occasionally does something for the non-Mormon community.

You're so right. When other churches were preaching from the pulpit about helping their neighbors and giving to charity, what were we doing but talking about how Joseph Smith did more than any other man next to Jesus himself to save the world, and is sitting next to him on a throne next to God.

It was all worship talk of Joseph Smith.

Instead of focusing our attention on the pure Christlike love of the gospel found in the beatitudes, or psalms, or proverbs.

We did do some community service in my hometown growing up in the Morridor. Helping was part of our early teachings, but then fell by the wayside the older I got. Then it became non-existent by the time I became an adult. Those projects just seemed to stop happening altogether for the widows of the wards and the widowers who lived alone on fixed incomes who had no one to look after them.

As for the single mothers and the fatherless children, fuhgetabout them. They are some of the most discriminated people in TSCC that the Mormon church has to say for itself. I only thought I was unique until I discovered RfM online. To learn there were other single moms like myself that were maligned and mistreated along with our children in the cult, reinforced the fact that we were being systematically abused by the cult. Mentally and emotionally.

It is one of the most dysfunctional religions on the planet. That was the first major crack in my shelf was when I became a single divorcee and mother of two young children. The way I was mistreated at church because of my marital status was the beginning of the end for me and my young family in Mormonism. Only it would take me a few more years to work through that.

As a newly divorced single mom and fully active in the church at the time I was struggling to make ends meet. It wasn't the Mormon church who came through for me when I was at my wits end my first year as a single mom with two little babies one of whom was in hospital during the holidays born preemie.

It was the Catholics where we lived. I hadn't sought them out. They sought me and my children out. I came home from school and from visiting my baby at the hospital one night right before Thanksgiving, with my toddler wondering what I was going to do to feed us for T-day since I had barely enough money to cover the barest of necessities. There was a great big box of food on our doorstep waiting for us when we got home that night. I broke down crying thinking the Mormons had come through for us at last. But it wasn't them at all. It was the nuns from our local parish who didn't know us from Adam. They did it out of love for a single mom and her two little babies.

The Mormons didn't care less of our plight. I was ward chorister there for five years during that time. Taken advantage of. When I was working I was paying my tithing to those buggers. And they sucked me dry for every last dime. But when I needed help or emotional support? Nada. Not a damn thing. Just condemnation for being a divorced single mom. I was even told by one woman who'd gone back to her abusive and controlling husband, that I had a duty to go back to my abusive and controlling husband. That's how sick and demented they were. That was more cult talk.

My experiences were similar to yours, Amyjo, when I was a single divorced working mother.

In my thinking, nothing makes up for nastiness and abuse. (The Mormon priesthood leaders physically abused my sons). Mormons think anything is fine, as long as it benefits the cult. Everything is forgiven, as long as the members pay that 10%. It's all about the money.

If it weren't for my musical ability, no one would have associated with me at all, when we first moved into this ward. The more money I made, the nicer they were. By "nice", means that they spoke to me. No one ever brought us dinner, or even bothered to call to check up on me. I was always bringing dinner to neighbors, at the RS's request, and these people had husbands to wait on them, or could easily have afforded fancy take-out every night. No one wanted to help the ones who really needed help the most. RS sisters would fall all over themselves to help the bishop or sp.

That's how Mormons feel about the community. The community is made up of non-Mormons. They have no positions on the Latter-day social ladder.

Yes, with Mormons, it's "What's in it for me?"

Mormonism takes the community out of UNITY and puts DISservice in service.

Like ALL ELSE LDS - it's all for show. Jesus Christ (in name only).

It takes you out of the community and places you in a bubble. You have to pop it yourself... before it blows up. It isolates you from your neighbors, associates, friends and relatives, and even "strangers"/ others and turns you against your most valuable and useful instrument: YOURSELF.

Mormonism is OUT FOR ITSELF.
Go out for yourself. For others!

Very good topic.

I actually had a few opportunities to perform real community service (clean up the local park, pick up trash and repaint a caboose). A good scoutmaster demanded that scouting requirements of service were not fudged on lame church activities.

I got out around 10 years ago now,one of the things that worried me was that so little work in the community happened,I moved in to a deprived area here in Scotland,could see right away that folk needed help.
I was volunteered by a lovely chap who was a caretaker for the area,too much needed for one man to do,I attended a meeting and came out like a rabbit in headlights,I was now the Chairperson for this community.
I had no experience but plenty of determination,2 other ladies joined me,not boasting but we worked bloody hard.
We hired the local school hall and did a family event to get to know folk,listened and discovered the way to a parents heart is to love their children.
We did summer programmes,fayres,visited the elderly and disabled to see what they needed to happen,had groups for young mums,secured nearly £70,000 for a playpark for the children as its like a concrete jungle here,took them on trips,put on shows,secured funding for healthy eating.
I felt privileged to have helped in changing people's lives,my friend who is still TBM asked me why I did it,I said it was a calling on my heart,she did'nt get it sadly.