https://twitter.com/nelsonrussellm/status/1168969863420940289?s=21

Russ says the work is going forward in Latin America (whatever that means). He also said the savior will not be returning anytime soon and we have a lot of work to do yet. He mentioned gathering Israel (whatever that means).

Funny. When I was a kid growing up in the church in the 70’s we were told we were the chosen generation sent to do the lord’s work and his second coming was soon.

I’m sure every generation in the church were told they were the chosen generation and I’m sure many could not believe in 2019 Jesus hasn’t shown up but he wasn’t going to come anytime soon.

From what I hear the church in Latin America is stagnant and shrinking. I don’t see much in the church moving forward except for temples being built. I think in the future all these temples will become an embarrassment for the church. We already have enough temples in the Mormon corridor that the members are going why do we need another one? You saturate the market with too much anything and you kill the mojo. It’s called diminishing returns.

Oh well. Russ will continue to go around and say,”You haven’t seen anything yet! We need to improve our efforts!” and he will do this until his health fails and then the church coasts along until the next old guy takes Russ’ place. It will be the old man fills the spot show until Bednar gets the seat and I’m sure he will be lot’s of fun. He will be telling the members they need to sacrifice more and only suffering and misery will usher in the coming of the lord.

It never ends until the donations and money run out. Remember the old guy who looked and sounded like Yoda who told the members they needed to “Lengthen Our Stride”. Then another old due replaced him and said “Read the Book of Mormon”. It never ends. Just one old man after another telling us we need to keep working and serving and busting our ass and then someday in the future Jesus will come with our reward. Until then, keep paying, praying and obeying.

ziller will take "who were false prophets" for $500 OPie ~


thx ~


in b 4 ~ Matthew 24:36 ~

One of the Twitter comments was:

"Do you have any counsel President for us Single Adults? I feel forgotten and alone. Thank you."

Well, Ballard said to put on some lipstick… (possibly causing some random priesthood holder to think lustful thoughts and/or touch himself, which would then be your fault even though you were following our vague and imprecise orders to the best of your ability, you hussy)

Huh?! Is this for real, or are you joking?

Well, he DID say to put on some lipstick -

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1702913

The rest of it was my commentary, just to show the impossible constraints the church puts onto women. Make yourselves attractive to the men, however you're responsible for men's thoughts. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Ballard instructing single women to stop looking like men and to wear lipstick:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2RwhDZvFow

That's disgusting. Brings back so many memories of the condescension the "bretheren" use. When he says, " I don't know why it's so hard," he's saying, in essence, "it's all your fault."

What gets me most is the loud laughter from the audience. Must be nice for Ballard to tour around the world speaking only to overflow crowds of sycophants gasping and awwing at his every word. Exploding with laughter.

Blech.

He used to host all these missionary "safety" training films in the 1990s. Ballard would blather about how sacred the missionary vehicle fund was and that we as missionaries should be so grateful in the care and usage of such vehicles.

Then Ballard would gleefully declare that missionaries were too reckless and uncaring and a Mormonized version of "Red Asphalt" would be shown. Most had blood splatter on a broken windshield, a few had bodies left in little white Ford Escorts for the full effect. Some of the elders were coughing in disguise because the films were really funny.

At the end, he would be standing over some poor missionary that had a streak of bad luck. Ballard would beam "Not all of our serious accidents involve mission vehicles or bicycles. This sister was careless and she's now paying a heavy price.

I still remember her name; Sister Feather. She was sitting in a wheel chair with a broken leg bandaged in a cast. "I wasn't paying attention and I slipped on a patch of ice. Then I fell down a flight of stairs. Now I can't walk and do the required missionary work. I let Heavenly Father down when I wasn't more careful."

Ballard would pipe up "Don't let this happen to you. Pay attention when you drive, walk or ride a bicycle."

I hadn't heard that one about Sister Feather, and wish I could find that on youtube. I believe it, and I remember those missionary training vid's. What strike from the Sis. Feather reference is how these F'tards can guilt the sheepie ABOUT EVERYTHING. So the implications is that she was at fault for her injury. It's just mind boggling, but that's the way the are. Anything bad that happens is a result of your negligence that keeps you from serving the Lard. You must be smart, safe, and careful like the brethren are. This is why I hate mormonism - the sheer arrogance. Ballards voice, similar to other geriatric 15, is just so annoyingly arrogant...like fingernails on a chaulkboard. Ballard is a lil' shit.. man...spineless fraction of a man. An imp.

Yes, he did instruct them to paint their holes.

OOPs, meant to be at the bottom of this thread...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2019 03:10PM by GNPE.

having a placement challenge today :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2019 03:12PM by GNPE.

HOw do I get my comment AT THE END????



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2019 03:14PM by GNPE.

I am waiting for Oaks and his new church gospel legal lessons. Of course, he's going to require every member to sign an NDA every times he speaks. No more freebies for the peons.

About the year 2000, Jesus was up there with one foot already out of heavens door. He was ready to come down and burn some tares (whatever they may be) until he looked down and saw that the members weren't righteous enough. So he pulled his foot back in the door. Hard to say what his next move will be.
Of course this is all the fault of unworthy members, nothing to do with the inspired church leadership.

Remember back in 60 when had had to have a 2 year supply of food. Remember all that wheat and skim milk we had to eat and drink so it did not go bad. Remember how we were told we could not get our food storage fast enough before the big and dread full day of the Lord.
This just tell me these top guys are just flying by the seat of their pants.
I was told recently that the Gathering of Israel means missionary work now. And from what I have seen in the last few years, even that is a problem.
I am sure glad I have been guided by prophets all my life!!!
What a mess I think the Church is in compared to the Church I grew up in.

The COJCOLDS has always been a mess. It was such in the 1960's, too. Social programs were a bit more member-friendly, and more fun was had by most, but it's not as though the angel really did hand The Golden Plates to Joseph Smith and it all really WAS true until recently. It's always been a rather large money-gathering scam. It's always been built on a totally phony foundation.

In 1999, my life was turned upside down. House burned (if it was important to me, it was gone) and the church told me to count my blessings when I went for help. I was beyond angry and the thought that Jesus was going to come and reward those a-hole leaders was beyond comprehension. I realized then that I didn't care to go to a heaven with church members.

Thankfully, my life improved without ever returning to the LDS Corp.

Ring, Ring.....Ring, Ring.....

Israel: Hello, this is president Netanyahu.

Russ: Hi, this is Russ Nelson, president, prophet, seer and revalator of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. God has instructed me to start gathering you in preparation for the 2nd coming of Jesus.

Click.

Russ: Hello? Hello? Are you there? Hello?

He’s in denial. Rusty, Jesus is coming just for you. He’s bringing the big paddle with the holes in it.

about the women leaving their husbands so they could be sealed to a GA so they would go to the CK as they were taught the end was coming soon. That was when they first got to SLC in 1847.

I was also told the end was near when I was growing up. The attitude was at around year 2000.

As for the statement about putting on lipstick, we had a stake president in the singles' ward give a fireside talk about we women needed to curl our hair, put on makeup, put on fingernail polish, dress nice as the reason we were not married was because of these issues. The bishop wasn't there. He was furious. If you looked around the room, all the women were all dressed up. The men not so much so--in their leisure suits and flood pants.

I think I told the story of the bishop who said my self image was suffering because I was basically not being perfect or righteous enough. I did go through stages of not caring so much how I looked but I think it was a kind of rebellion, and plus I was just really tired. And, I think mormons have a weird idea of what looks good. I mean, he discounted the fact I was physically in shape, healthy, and had good skin and hair. I just wasn’t wearing much make up or high heels. And my daughter’s aunt also had a go at me about this. Apparently if you don’t wear heels you are letting yourself go, even if you have to walk three miles to church. I guess I should have known to bring a change of shoes so as to not cause so much concern for my wellbeing.

Well, guess who looks better now? I’m in my forties and taking care of myself has paid off. I’m told I look at least ten years younger. Because I didn’t waste money and time on lipstick, perfume and jewellery and instead invested in ME.

Of course none of this matters if jesus is coming. But it sounds like I’ll be very old when that happens. Will elderly people confined to wheelchairs get to the window in time to see him coming out of the sky? And will I have time to put my lipstick on for him, seeing as this is what matters so much?

affair and the men all look like slobs?"

Question my nevermo mom asked after the first two days of her first visit to UT.

The church is developing a large ranch in Florida into a development that is basically going to another city when it is done. It's planned that it wont' be done until 2080. That shows that they are not expecting the second coming anytime soon.

From this article: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/massive-mormon-deseret-ranch-plan-orlando-florida/

"The first shovel of dirt won't be turned for another two decades and the 133,000 acres of pastures, citrus groves, and woodlands slotted for development make up less than half of the ranch's nearly 300,000 acres.

Deseret would likely rely on outside developers. By 2080, the former ranch land could accommodate up to half a million residents, which would make it Florida's 10th largest metropolitan area in today's population."

"We have a lot to do before the Lord will come again. And we are going to do it."

Many of the ordinary members read something like this and probably think that he's talking about revealing profound truths about the spirit world, or using the magical priesthood power to bless the saints with greater protections against physical and spiritual harm.

Many of the top leaders in the church read something like this and probably think: "This is wonderful. Those real estate development deals are still on track and he certainly means that the shopping center expansion is going to be approved. So much to do. So much to do!"

More non-sense from old man.

Priceless. Best response ever. Lol

In the 60s, 70s, and 80s can you imagine the reaction if someone said in a SM talk or in a SS lesson that Jesus wasn’t returning anytime soon? I think that person would have received a stern reprimand from the bishop.

the "Second Coming of Jesus" was always right around the corner.

If not in their lifetime, certainly soon thereafter.

Mormons, since the time of Joseph Smith, have always emphasized the belief that Jesus was coming really soon. Really, really soon. Joseph Smith claimed that God had revealed to him that the second coming would arrive before the end of the 19th century.

In 1916 Apostle James Talmage said this in a General Conference session: “The ten tribes shall come; they are not lost unto the Lord; they shall be brought forth as hath been predicted; and I say unto you there are those now living—aye, some here present—who shall live to read the records of the Lost Tribes of Israel, which shall be made one with the record of the Jews, or the Holy Bible, and the record of the Nephites, or the Book of Mormon, even as the Lord hath predicted” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1916, p. 76).

The return of the last ten tribes was always thought to be a harbinger and sign that Jesus's return was imminent.

The very name of the Church emphasizes that it's supposed to be right around the corner. Latter days and all that rot. If it was the "latter days" in 1830, shouldn't it be super-duperly latter days in 2019? How long can the "latter days" go on until it seems silly to call them latter days. For a long time, the official name of the Church in several East Asian countries was ...."of the LAST DAYS". A few years ago, they quietly changed it to something closer to "later days".

Right around the corner....stop asking if we're almost there yet! It's right around the corner...right around the corner.... We don't know the exact moment when we'll round the bend and SHAZAM! It's Jesus! He's back! We don't know the exact moment. But it's right around the corner.

Well, not THIS corner! You sillies! It wouldn't be THIS corner. It's a corner that we'll go around some day.

And notice how NOBODY talks about the forkin' 10 tribes anymore? They were a hot topic when I was a kid. Now they're a little lump under that big rug that the church has for sweeping things under. The 10 tribes are never coming now...now that they feel insulted and ignored.

I think psychologically (as in mass and individual), something happened when the years 2000 and 2001 came and went and nothing special happened Jesus-wise. No rapture. No triumphant arrival in clouds of glory. Nothing at all, other than having a guy named "Dick" as vice president.

Psychologically, for many TBMs it was like "well, let's give it a few more years. Nobody said that it would happen EXACTLY at the year 2000."

Then many of them sort of piggy-backed on the 2012 hype based on the Mayan calendar. (They were sort of Lamanites, you know.) Then nothing happened then either other than a crappy movie titled "2012".

Now it's 2019 and most Mormons just have second-coming fatigue. The older generations are tired of thinking about it. The younger generations have no reason to give it much thought. There are no more psychologically significant benchmark years up ahead on the calendar. No beginning of a new millennium. Even the changing of the century is a lifetime away for young people and there's nothing religiously special about the year 2100 in most people's reckoning.

In his 90s now, Nelson is probably feeling the second-coming fatigue worse than most. He's sick of it. He's been hearing about the second coming all his long, long life. And he was born AFTER Talmage made his 1916 prophecy. If anyone can be said to have lived long enough to see the fulfillment of Talmage's prophecy, it would be Nelson. No. Nelson's not having it anymore. TBH, I don't think he even likes the "latter-day" part of the official church name. At every opportunity, he lops it off like it's nothing more than a dead and useless appendage.

For years and years, leaders of the church strongly implied that something special was and did indeed occur within that "holy of the holies" room of the temple. Of course, they were too sacred to be further discussed. This wasn't a one time deal, but I heard this now proven myth at least 3 dozen times by high ladder church officials.

Then it was acknowledged that nobody, not even the so called apostles have ever seen God, but that they are special witnesses to his name. WTF???

So to restore some dignity to the mormon idea that God actually converses with Rusty, I thought that he would say "I have some special experiences in the temple that are too personal to share." No instead we get a story about a dumb pen and notepad.

if any useful or profound revelations, prophecies, insights and advice ever resulted from it.

Maybe predicting ("prophesying") an earthquake 6 months ahead of time for a village in the Andes and mobilizing church resources in a safe spot nearby ahead of time to be prepared to render timely assistance...and then it all actually happens as prophesied.

Or maybe revealing god's instructions for reforming governmental policies as well as revealing dates, details and names of corrupt people in high places doing corrupt things, and then causing incontrovertible evidence to be brought to light in a thousand places, while God supports his prophet by striking down the evil ones and causing their lawyers to lose their ability to speak (you know, like BoM and OT stuff).

But it's never anything like that. It's ideas about renaming institutions. It's ideas about fiddling with meeting schedules. It's decisions about real estate deals. You know, the same type of ideas and decisions that a regional Pizza Butt manager would be writing down on a notepad in preparation for a regional marketing meeting for Pizza Butt franchisees.

I'm a special witness, but I can't talk about what I witnessed because it's too sacred.

It was obviously just a gimmick for getting gullible people to hang on their every word -- just as you would be inclined to do if you thought someone talking to you was a person who had personally met directly with the most powerful being in the universe.

"It's not lying if it's only implied and inferred." That seems to be what they told their wilting and dying consciences when they knowingly misled people with those cryptic comments about their special experiences in the temple that were too sacred to talk about.

Smelled like donkey doo-doo then. Smells like donkey doo-doo now.

How does he know when the "savior" is comming?

He's rediculous, as rediculous as the church and so

full of it that he reeks when he walks and talks.

It's all such a joke.

Its the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He ain't cumin now, he's cumin latter.

Aren't the Essentials-

Kindness, Honesty, Caring & Compassion, etc.


Aren't those the items that should ALWAYS be the Core Values, the Centerpiece of Christ's gospel ?


my.bad.Really, Really BAD, BAD TO THE BONE!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2019 03:16PM by GNPE.

My grandpa's patriarchal blessing stated that he would live well into old age and witness the Second Coming.

He died very unexpectedly, over 20 years ago. He was in his 60s, always a faithful and obedient member.

At least it made my mom start to question things, even if it didn't seem to phase anyone else.

NOW they tell members that Jesus isn't coming soon?!

When I was a member (1992-2012), they stressed the second coming so much you'd think Jesus would arrive sooner than a pizza.

Members should get their tithing back if he doesn't show by April 6, 2030, because 200 years having passed puts them beyond Ladder-days.

Which will still leave them with plenty of money to change the name and their stationery to Church of Jesus Christ of Old-time Saints.

Joseph is reported to have said in February 1835 that Jesus was a coming in the next 56 years. Some apologists say, well that is ambiguous we don't know what he meant by that. I guess that is cuz them apologists can't count past 10, so, 56 is just not a very specific number.

Some said nobody can prove he said it but it is just the sort of thing he would say to keep proving he's a prophet. And, 56 years from then would've meant ole Joe would fer sure be worm food by the 1890's, so he had nothing to lose.

"Jesus wants to swing by. Really he does. But Rusty's note pad says, NO. But keep sending money. There is apparently a recession in the CK."

"What's a pimp to do?"

still more Mormon revisionism;

Move Along folks, nothing new to see here.

..."Latter-day Ain'ts"? (Just chip off a piece of the first letter "S", use that piece as an apostrophe and throw the rest of the "S" away. No need to get whole new signs made.)

and all those patriarchal blessings, in which members (inlcuding me!!) were promised to see the second coming of Christ, and how they would not taste death and be 'changed' in the blink of an eye...


and then God goes and changes his mind.
Again....

Yes: "We have a lot of work to do."

So, the veiled threat is that if you DON'T do "the work" (whatever that is) Jesus will get pissed and won't show, so get to work!!.

Kind of a double-bind (maybe that's not the right term.)

catch-22; hobson's choice

was misnamed.

It's not Saturday yet. More like Wednesday evening-ish...

Jesus ain't just around the corner. More like he's around the corner, and then take a right and go up a hill to the first big intersection. Take a left and then go past the Big Hole Donut shop. After you pass the donut shop, turn into the big public parking lot and park your car. Next to the parking lot is footpath. Get on the footpath and walk for about two miles until you get to Dead Frog Pond. At Dead Frog Pond, you'll see a rusting 1972 Ford Mustang up on blocks. Look into the glove box and there might be a note from Jesus telling you when he plans to come. If there's no note in the glove box...well...I don't know what to tell you. He said he'd be coming back and we all thought he meant soon. But that was more than 2,000 years ago, so...you know...it's been a while.

After checking the glove box and get back into town, be sure to drop off your tithing at the bishop's office. It's what Jesus wants you to do.

I think profits like Kimball and Benson knew that they would pass on before the 2nd coming (if it was going to happen at all) so it didn't concern them. They passed the buck and let the next profit have to deal with it. Aside from saying a prayer, nothing spiritual was ever brewing in the Q15 meetings. Just a bunch of LDS Corp meetings where the brethren bitch and moan about the happenings of the world.

I think the one that really sweated it was the Hinkster. If (a big one) the JC had shown up, I think he would have peed his pants. He probably had a recurring nightmare where he met the lord and he was upset. He readily admitted on the TV interviews that he wasn't really that special and had no real power. Didn't he say that there wasn't any needs for more "revelation".