Given the status attained by Wen-Dew, could they have received their 2nd Annoying before Rusty revealed to them that ghawd had instructed him to marry one of them?

And was Rusty instructed which one to marry or was the choice left up to some form of chance, such as drawing straws, or flipping a coin, best two-out-of-three doesn’t have to do it?

This also raises the question, can a gay man who never acts on the impulse, and never marries, receive a 2nd Annoying?

Finally, you think there's any chance that an apustule has ever, in one way or another, ’sold’ a 2nd Annoying?

Sometimes you are incredibly anointing.

The second annointing requires a man and a woman to perform. The woman annointing her husband as Jesus was annointed before his death.

My several times great grandmother received her second annointing with a proxy filling in for her deceased husband.

This description comes from her journal written in the late 1800s.

What they do today I can't say.

I haven't looked it up for a while, but I think you have it backwards. The Apostle, or whoever conducts the first of the two parts, washes the man's feet--as Jesus washed his disciples' feet. Then in the second part at home, the man washes his wife's feet (same logic) and then the woman pronounces a blessing on the man's head.

This was one area in which JS's decision to give the priesthood to women went far. The first annoying (bow to EOD) makes her a priestess, and the second seals the deal. There are other indications of this in the temple ceremonies, where women perform ordinances like the washing and anointing. But in this case the wife is clearly acting as a priestess.

According to Tom Phillips, first the apostle washes the husband's feet, then later, the wife does also. According to Tom's account, the wife doesn't get her feet washed.
See the link from my post below.

Thank you.

There are a couple of points in Tom's account that are a bit of a surprise. The first is this one: the woman washing the husband's feet, though it does make biblical sense.

The second is that the second part of the ritual is also done in the temple. I believe, but could be wrong, that the second part used to be done in the home.

[|] Wrote:

> According to Tom Phillips, first the apostle
> washes the husband's feet,then later, the wife
> does also. ... The wife doesn't get her feet washed.

Thus are we instructed to believe that a Mormon man can land on planet Bollocks smelling squeaky clean, while his lovely bride (or brides) arrive in tow with stinky feet.

Scenes from the wacky future on Bollocks.

Foot washing ? Watch out for those disgusting thick yellow toe nails.

There was an unmarried woman in my last ward that openly campaigned for her 2nd annoying and it was quite annointing. She was the RS president in the ward, and I was the YM president. We had many conversations about how she wanted it so badly, and was asking the SP for this openly. She never got it, and finally left the church. If only they would have given it to her - the fact that she later apostacized and left - would have been inconseqential to her. However, she left prior to receiving the 2nd annoying and is thusly damned to mormon hell.

p.s.

It's all about timing I suppose.

Did the woman seriously believe that the SP had the authority to grant this request?

If she didn't think he could handle it himself, I'm sure she expected him to push the request up the chain of control and command.

Hell, there's no guarantee he even had his own CK fast Pass. Some people are beyond delusional.

Well she seemed to know a lot about the process. She said that every so often the visiting GA to the stake would contact the SP, and ask who among the stake members (maybe 2-3 couples) would be eligble for the 2A. The SP would recommend, and the couples would be asked to attend the temple very early on a Saturday. This woman in my ward was very attractive, and she had a very friendly relationship w/ the SP. She knew when he would be coming to the ward building, and she would litteraly walk the halls waiting for him to arrive. When he walked in she would give him a big bear hug, with her back leg curling. He was very pleased by this. Who knows what was going on there, but he confided in her about the 2A, told her about the process, and so she wanted it and was hoping he would recommend her. That SP loved to give bear hugs to the ladies, by the way.

Wow. From my understanding, those who are involved really aren't supposed to discuss it so openly. I haven't a clue as to whether or not my own parents have theirs.

Research where the term anointing comes from. In ancient times men used to put olive oil on their penis to make sex easier. Olive oil was ancient KY Jelly.

This process became part of fertility rituals where an idol with an erect phallus would have oil poured on the phallus for a fertility ceremony.

Later anointing became a symbol of being sacred and special. Oil was then poured on a person’s head instead of the head of a penis and Christ is a derivative of the Greek word Christo which means oil. Crisco is also a derivative of Christo.

So it all goes back to sex and people viewing sex as sacred. I guess if you have a Crisco oil party you are anointing yourselves. The second anointing could be a real colorful ceremony if the church leaders really understood what anointing really meant.

Do you have a source for this origin of the ritual? I have never heard this before and it seems vaguely plausible, so I wonder if you can point me towards documentation.

Thanks.

This makes sense. If one reads very old scriptures--not necessarily Christian ones, older--there are references to anointing which have a vague, penis implication. I never understood it. Similar to references to temple priestess/prostitute, like in the Iliad or sutras.

Lord knows that I want to believe it!

An unmarried TBM woman gets her 2nd Annoying when she marries another TMB man after 2 weeks of chatting on the internet.

Roy G Biv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> An unmarried TBM woman gets her 2nd Annoying when
> she marries another TMB man after 2 weeks of
> chatting on the internet.


AMEN, brother Roy.

Please could someone remind me what a second anointing is? And for that matter, what first anointing (annoying lol) is? And what this has to do with marriage and the Profit’s (so called) wife?
Thanks

The First anointing is the temple Endowment that everyone gets before his mission or her temple wedding. It declares that the recipient can become a king/queen, priest/priestess, etc., meaning election to the top third of the celestial kingdom.

The Second Anointing is a secret ceremony offered only to those who have devoted their lives to the church, meaning high-level authorities and their wives. In effect, that means people generally get the anointing around the MP/lower GA levels. It removes the ambiguity, saying that the recipients have fulfilled their temple covenants and hence are guaranteed entrance into the CK for themselves and their children. The only way this contract is invalidated is if one commits the sin against the holy ghost by rejecting the church after having received the Second Comforter, which is the Second Anointing.

If you want more information, read Tom Phillips' posts on this board or watch John Dehlin's interview of Phillips. It is a detailed account of the ritual. There is also a book called Mysteries of Godliness that looks at the temple ceremonies in general and the 2A in particular. The author did not realize that the 2A still occurs--it occurs frequently--but otherwise the details are all there.

Thanks for this. I’d forgotten about it.

However, my response is still: WTF !!!!?

Yeah, ok, I’m gonna do some reading to refresh my memory. Kind of good to remember this shite as it screams “cult!” more than a lot of the rubbish mormons come up with. What is the third top of the CK? Is the highest level (the CK) also divided into more hierarchies, or did I misunderstand?

Also, does this mean for those of us who have received even the first anointing (endowment/whatever) that we have sinned beyond redemption?

The CK is divided into three levels: only the top people get to own planets and have sex. The lower levels are for angels, etc.

The 2A is one of the straws that broke this camel's back. There is nothing more sacrilegious than the notion that a bunch of men can conduct the Final Judgment for their friends without any input from Jesus.

It is even worse than that. Once you're given the second anointing, you can lie and commit crimes with impunity, knowing that after your death, you will become a God. The general authorities can thus lie on behalf of the church and there are no consequences for them. When they tell you to obey and that any sin is on them if they gave you bad advise, they do it knowing that they will never be held accountable, at least according to their beliefs as supported by the rest of the church. It's a frightening, godless belief system as they elevate themselves in their own minds, to godhood. All of this is done in secret with just enough information leaking out about it for the rest of us to know it really happens.

This is exactly right.

My hunch is that the 2A was devised in large part because it created a class of "made men" who could lie, intimidate, and commit violence in the interests of the church. The doctrine is that those people will never suffer any long-term punishment for the crimes they commit.

Yes, oh dear, I’d never thought of that before. I feel nauseous. The worst part is committing serious crimes and still believing you are going to be saved. I think if I’d known this one fact early on I would have left years earlier.

But what I don’t get is: the benefit of the 2A is that they can also lie to us, etc, and still become gods. But if they know they're lying, then they know the church isn’t true, and therefore they must know they aren’t going to any CK or becoming gods??
But the fact they go through this 2A ritual suggests they do believe it all, plus, they are just so in love with themselves over it, they take it and themselves so seriously.

Can someone undo this riddle for me please, before my head explodes?

Think of it this way. A believing MP or GA has doubts about what his superiors are asking him to do--is it ethical? Would God approve?--but then gets the 2A and no longer has to worry about it. This probably was a bigger issue back in JS and BY days, when priesthood leaders were sometimes ordered to act violently, but it probably still matters when it comes to dishonesty, covering up child molestation, etc.

Or this way. Someone knows that most of the religion is BS but believes that God has chosen him to work through Mormonism. He reckons he is the elite and as such can lie to the sheep. Doing so is easier when he knows he has already been guaranteed election.

I think the key is that many of them believe their own propaganda to one extent or another. Some probably recognize it is all BS, but others think it is basically true and in between are still more who think parts of it are true and parts false. To many of these the 2A sets their minds at ease and facilitates strict obedience to their superiors.

Thank you

WOW !

I was about to ask who this was by, but then figured out it was Tom Phillips, who I’ve seen speak on YouTube. Interesting to put a name to a post, then a face to a name all at once. Great.

This is crazy stuff. But what I don’t get is how many GA’s haven’t had this done? Or have they all probably had it done?

Actually this explains my ongoing question of: do the GA’s know what they teach is a lie?
Well, after remembering this second anointing stuff, I think they are completely brainwashed and drunk with power.
Obviously it’s all so ridiculous, but at the same time I am disturbed; now I understand my tbm family members and their weird, confusing, inexplicable behaviour more, even though they haven’t had this done. The brain washing goes SO deep.

I had forgotten all this stuff. Can someone reverse time for me?

Your brother might very well have no clue. I had completely forgotten about it until Tom Phillips posted about it. They used to call it "calling and election made sure." But I didn't think there were very many who were living who had had this happen. It was a real shock to read about it here. I'm SURE my daughter knows nothing about it. I'm not going to be the one to tell her.

Now, most of the time I could care less about never having had the priesthood and I didn't want it as an active mormon, but why does the man get his feet washed twice and the woman doesn't get hers washed at all?

The second anointing ordinance/ceremony is actually a main reason my mormon shelf broke. I was raised in the church, come from an illustrious Mormon pedigree, went on a mission, held many responsible church callings, and yet only through this board - and subsequent study - did I learn of the second anointing. I don’t know what is worse - the whole second anointing reality and what its application is to doctrinal and religious application - or - the under handed effort of the church regarding non disclosure of the second anointing to its general membership. In fact, I’m guessing if the rank and file membership knew of the second anointing - and what it means - many more would leave than do currently. Just sayin -

What do you think the chances are that at some point in the future, the 2nd Annoying will be available to anyone after five years of full tithing and a pinky-swear to not grow a beard?

If you're willing to act on your authority and listen to those voices you hear in your head, the only limiting factor in the number of anointings you can get is your supply of olive oil or crocodile fat.

You know why Popeye loved Olive Oyl so much? All the anointings. She was the daughter of an olive oil importer and Popeye was not only a sailor man, but he was also a priesthood holder who had the keys of anointing.

Brutus was sent by the First Presidency to discipline Popeye because Popeye was claiming to have equal authority as a prophet, seer and revelator and the brethren were jealous about Popeye and Olive Oyl doing so many anointings outside of the temple and without authorization from the First Presidency. They were also upset because Popeye and Olive Oyl claimed that Olive Oyl was also a priesthood holder.

Popeye used hamburgers to bribe a guy named Wimpy to follow Brutus around and throw banana peels in his path to make him slip and fall. Wimpy was successful. Brutus slipped and fell, injuring his back so badly that he had to be hospitalized for a month. After the accident, when Tuesday came around, Popeye credited Wimpy's services as payment in full for the hamburgers that Popeye had given Wimpy the previous week.

And I have just as much faith in the truthfulness of the above information as I do in the Book of Mormon and the validity and efficacy of anointings performed in the temple.

This is the best thread I have ever read in my life... I was cracking up about the 2nd Annoying right down to Popeye getting a little jiggy with the oyl of olive oly.... I wish I could copy this and casually leave it in my TBM co-workers mail box... This was rich!!!!

Meat before milkshakes, my good man!

Those if us who did, belonged to one very wacky, abnormal, kooky, batty, bonkers, absurd, clownish, loony, goofy, cuckoo and amusing iteration of a church/community.

... milkshakes and meat, I meant to say, are meant to be consumed together.

That's why I always alternate between bites of cheeseburger and sips of milkshake. A cheeseburger should never be wholly consumed before imbibation of the milkshake commences.

Similarly a milkshake should never be completely imbibed before the eating of the cheeseburger commences.

Alternating between bites and imbibing is the natural order of things, as decreed by God from the beginning.

If God had not intended us to consume both together, why would the Holy Ghost constantly be prompting us thus: "C'mon, what's a milkshake without a cheeseburger to go with it?"

We all know that the Holy Ghost has no body and therefore relies upon us to provide gustatory delights that he can enjoy whilst dwelling within us. So this is true doctrine.

Can unmarried MEN get a 2nd Annoying

Yes, but only if they date the wrong women.

Uggh. Who would even want one!

While it's not funny if recipients are told they can lie without consequence, it is funny to think that such recipients would even believe what they are being told in such a ceremony.

Now that's an excellent point!

"Now that I'm free to lie with impunity, let me tell you a story about this here 2nd annoying..."

Actually, I've lost track of how many times I've been annoying.

check with Olddog.

I'm with you for Eternal Annoying.

Sheri Dew could marry Nelson for Eternity only and then do the hokey pokey, Sec. Ant. with him platonically. Save their sex for their hereafter.

It boggles my mind that there has not be a TBM outcry over this issue!

The 'Law' in Utah allows polygamy, in the sense that a man can marry a woman under the law and then be sealed, in a non-'law' religious ceremony, to as many women as will consent. He can live with as many of these 'one-wife-and-many-sealants' under one roof as will fit.

Now factor in that Plural Marriage, per mormonism, is The New and Everlasting Covenant which MUST be practiced in order to achieve the stated goal of this earth life, ghawdhood.

So why the frack is the church not using all its temples to seal men to their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc., etc. wives? Why are righteous priesthood holders not knocking on the doors of the temple with their intended plural wives? It's legal in heaven; it's now legal on earth, so what's the hold up?


Or are they doing it, but keeping it on the down low? Maybe one of Rusty's midnight revelations allowed him to be sealed to Sweet Sheri-Berry Dew?

As I understand it, Second Annoyings mean that you can do whatever you want to do, and you will still go to the highest level of the CK. Correct?

So if two women are sealed to the same old priesthood dude, and they all have second annoyings, then if those two wives decide to get down with it together, it’s all fine?

So probably Sheri Dew has done both deeds. This is why she’s always around them. She has had her calling and election made sure, so anything goes, so long as no one knows.

it just sounds like the process of tapping a few selected ('many are called but few are chosen') people into the upper echelon of a secret society.

People who have proven to be scrupulously loyal, true and devoted to serving the needs of the institution (i.e. the "club") and the leaders above them...by being unscrupulously treacherous to anyone and everyone who threatened or stood in the way of the club's objectives are rewarded by being pulled into the club within the club. "Second anointing" is just the kind of pretentious label they would stick on something like that.

To get a Second Anointing you have to have no second thoughts nowadays. In the dark Internetless past maybe people like my great grandfather Hughbee could have them. Not in todays world of Mormonism.