https://kobi5.com/news/homeowner-2-mormon-missionaries-injured-by-stray-bullet-in-klamath-falls-110123/

See?

They should have had the old fashioned garmies that went all the way up to the neck and down to the wrist!

"...nothing gets through 2nd Nephi..."

New church rule: Mormon missionaries can not enter homes where firearms are stored.

That would be a great rule. Pretty much covers every home in Utah, including mine.

One bullet nails three people? Who was the homeowner, Deadpool?

Ha! Or Lee Harvey Oswald.

Six missionaries were present?

They were doing a charitable deed, with four elders and two LMs (what we called them back in the day and stood for Lady Missionary).

Or maybe it was three and three! Kinky, huh?

So he had it in his major hand (right, for most of us) and had pulled back the receiver to check to see if it was loaded and it either was, or he pulled it back too far and it loaded then and his minor hand slipped, the action went forward and the pistol discharged, hitting the little finger edge of that hand, going through that meat, into the arm of elder, ricocheting up to his collar bone and bouncing back a bit, and down, into the abdomen of the LM, where presumably it came to rest. Good times!!

FMJ, reg load, 9mm. Who'd want to show off a .380? But then there's the ricocheting... It should have blown right through the radius or ulna, or both. I say "weird"...

I betcha they were trying to summon the devil! You know how missionaries just can't resist that! Or are those days long gone?

Wow, doing service with the LMs. They are the ultimate forbidden fruit cuz then you're in bed with both the young lady and Jesus. It counts as a threesome!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2019 06:00PM by elderolddog.

“Wow, doing service with the LMs.”

New cautionary tale: Impure thoughts invite Satan, who can get three of you with one bullet.

For one thing, I didn't know that bullets could "careen" (ricochet) off of human flesh. Was the missionary actually a terminator model sent to Oregon from the future?

And what weird positions would they have to be in for the bullet to go through the gun-owner's hand, hit the Elder's arm, ricochet off that arm to then hit the Elder's collar bone and then somehow hit a lady missionary in the abdomen? Were they playing Twister and playing with a gun at the same time?


This is kind of a good example of modern journalism.

After reading that article, my only question is why didn't the bullet then bounce off the lady missionary's abdomen and hit a beagle in the butt, causing the beagle to run out into traffic, which in turn startled Grismelda Jones and caused her to lose control of her car and collide with a plutonium transport vehicle in such a way that all of the fail-safes were bypassed when the gas tank on the truck exploded, which then caused all of the plutonium to be ejected into the air at the precise moment that an unusual updraft was occurring, which then pushed the plutonium into the jet stream, resulting in a civilization- ending calamity that is expected to reach full fruition two years from now? Why did the reporter try to hide these facts from us?

Wally Prince Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For one thing, I didn't know that bullets could
> "careen" (ricochet) off of human flesh.

Bullets can do all sorts of strange things once they leave the muzzle, especially when they hit flesh.
>

>
> After reading that article, my only question is
> why didn't the bullet then bounce off the lady
> missionary's abdomen and hit a beagle in the butt,
> causing the beagle to run out into traffic, which
> in turn startled Grismelda Jones and caused her to
> lose control of her car and collide with a
> plutonium transport vehicle in such a way that all
> of the fail-safes were bypassed when the gas tank
> on the truck exploded, which then caused all of
> the plutonium to be ejected into the air at the
> precise moment that an unusual updraft was
> occurring, which then pushed the plutonium into
> the jet stream, resulting in a civilization-
> ending calamity that is expected to reach full
> fruition two years from now? Why did the reporter
> try to hide these facts from us?

Doesn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow factor into that scenario somehow?

After narrowly escaping being hit by Grismelda's car, the beagle ran and ran and ran out of pure terror until he collapsed somewhere around Chicago, just summoning enough strength to do his doggy-doo "business" next to a tire in an empty lot. This just happened to be the exact site where the remains of Mrs. O'Leary's cow were last seen.

----> "Bullets can do all sorts of strange things once they leave the muzzle, especially when they hit flesh."

I don't have any doubt about that. But ricocheting (or "careening") off someone's arm seems very counter-intuitive. I can understand striking the arm at a glancing angle and proceeding to the collar bone if the position of the arm (where it was hit) was roughly aligned with the spot on the collar bone that was struck. The expression used by the reporter would mean essentially the same thing as "bouncing off". I've never heard of bullets bouncing off or ricocheting off of human flesh. But maybe I've lived a sheltered life as far as such experiences go. ;o)

Did they set a baptism date?

I wanna be there!!!

No. The baptismal font was also hit by the bullet. Won't hold water anymore. All baptisms are cancelled until further notice.

In a pinch, a river, stream, or lake will do;

someone's Hot Tub perhaps?

A hot tub? That may be how nudists do baptisms, but not Mormons.

And no pinching: that invalidates the baptism and necessitates a trip to the bishop's office!