It was my birthday over the weekend. My husband took me for a crab leg dinner at the casino at $40 bucks a pop. A young couple seated on the row behind us (in the corner) began making out and began subtlety fondling each other. Instead of sitting across from each other they were next to each other. When the man began rubbing the woman's breast my husband had had enough. Management/waiters were ignoring it. There were children and families seated all around - I guess ignoring it too. So my husband said, "Guys, cut it out..this is a restaurant not a hotel room. Act appropriate there are children around.." The couple immediately straightened up and were embarrassed because my husband had loudly made a scene.

My husband told his TBM parents the story, and they said he was wrong in saying anything to them because they have their freeagency. I said, "WTF"?

What do you guys think? Was my husband wrong or right in confronting them openly?

Your husband also has free agency. If it bothered him, he has every right to speak up.

Also, they were in public, they don't really have a right to privacy, since anyone could have seen what was happening, and probably did.

Have your husband tell his parents that he gave me (a Mexican) their address, so I can go over and stand in front of their house in order to practice my ghawd-given, Jesus-driven, Satan-shriven Free, no money down, no payments Agency.

I bet I can make them call the cops...

Now I would love to see that!

Hubby was 100% correct and I would have done the same thing.

The advisability or suitability of admonishing someone you don't know in public can depend on several factors.

If there were children directly around, then that would weigh on the "admonishing" side of the scale.

However, you said the couple was in a corner, and this may mean that they were effectively shielded (by adult bodies, by relative darkness, etc.) from the view of those children who were in that same room. If the adults were, effectively, shielded from children's view, then that would weigh on the "do not admonish" side of the scale.

In my experience (which comes from decades ago) casinos are generally considered to be places for adults and adult behavior, with any children physically present as carefully watched "interlopers" in adult space. The combination of an adult space, with liquor being served, and adrenaline surges from the gambling, automatically signals that the regular adult social mores of life outside the casino are not as operative as they would be in other settings: at the park, in a movie theater, in a regular restaurant, etc.

You also said your husband spoke "loudly," and "made a scene"--neither of which were called for. If he had simply gone over to them and said, clearly but softly, what he thought, the message would have been delivered, but in a way that embarrassed no one.

I think he was in the wrong because of the adult locale, the [presumed] adult milieu, and evidently HE was being personally embarrassed (but no one else was paying attention, until he began "loudly" admonishing the couple).

I think his beliefs of "what is acceptable where" are such that he probably should avoid casinos in the future.

My personal opinion only.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2019 08:58PM by Tevai.

The restaurant is separate from the casino, well-lit, and was a family sort of restaurant, albeit very expensive. I mena I wouldn't bring my children there due to the cost, but these families I would imagine are from out of town. There is no liquor in that restaurant (it's a huge casino), but other restaurants in the casino serve it. The man was completely rubbing her breast, and they had their hands all over each others inner thighs the entire time we were there. I am dead serious..it was just incredibly inappropriate, almost surreal. I am sure the children seated nearby could see. Very lewd behavior, and I bet they could have been arrested if we would have complained more and had proof.

Be proud of your husband. It's important to stand up for what's right. But also casinos have a sleazy and humanistic atmosphere, which is fine if that's what is desired. They are very suggestive, with the billboards, there's always cigarettes everywhere, and booze. It's not a family friendly place anyway. It's a place to indulge your inner desires.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I'm absolutely not with you on this one. Children present? Then let the actual parents with children handle it. No one anointed your husband as the enforcer of the Ministry of Virtue and Vice. I bet he was a great hall monitor in junior high.

Your husband acted like a jerk. Had I been the subject of his loud scene hissy fit, I would have gladly told him to go f*** himself and mind his own f***ing business. I can be a jerk right back.

But that's just me. I'mnot going to accept some random bluenosed busybody appearing out of nowhere, giving me an order, and expecting me to comply. I got enough of that as a mormon. Screw that, never again.

Clark Griswald handled it well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2dFUV8WjRc

making out and kissing is one thing, but getting the boobs going is another, and or grabbing privates. I would of been uncomfortable too.

Restaurants are for eating a meal. Hotel rooms are for fondling breasts. I don't care how sleazy Vegas is, breast fondling does not belong in a public restaurant unless it's a strip joint. It sounds like it was a nice restaurant though, where customers should behave appropriately. I'm so sick of inconsiderate people.

To avoid a fight/being shot, I would probably talk to the manager and have him/her deal with it.

Agree: their fondling crosses a line, is not appropriate for a restaurant, and your husband was right to object.

Agreed...the legal definition of a lewd act, also known as “lewd and lascivious conduct,” refers to any act that is sexual in nature, which would be considered indecent or shocking to a reasonable person such as fondling oneself in public or someone else. Yeah it crossed the line.

The key is "shocking to a reasonable person", and fondling your girlfriends breasts in public, in front of children, is shocking to reasonable people.

So if they were making out and rubbing up in sacrament meeting, I'm sure you MIL would say nothing because they have the free agency.

I would have asked the waiter to move with an explanation. In this day and age, I would not have have directly addressed the couple. What if the guy had lounged and tried to attack?

Keeping everybody straight, all the time, would kill you... even if you were the POP (perfect order police).

People can be bothered by different things (even them being on the row behind you?). I just wonder what you might have said if you and your SO were in each other's seats.

Being uncomfortable with other's activities, and being right by correcting them, makes no more intimate a public space.

Free Agency is free for all

I know exactly what I'd have done since I've done it in similar situations.

I'd have stood up, turned on my phone's camera, and started recording. If experience is any guide, one or both of them would have looked shocked and said, "what are you doing?"

"Don't let me bother you," I'd reply. "This is great. Please continue."

Then if they stopped, I'd say I was disappointed and hope that they reconsider since there's always room for more such stuff on the internet.

Sure, easy for you to say, with your pair of ex-Spetsnaz bodyguards!

Well, there is that. But people do tend to behave better when on camera.

Is that why some people act good and others act bad?

Cameras

For some reason the presence of people with cameras seems to have more effect than fear of an omnipotent voyeur in the sky.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2019 12:56AM by Lot's Wife.

That's because Elohim hasn't figured out how to post on youtube yet.

You know, while making out in public is not considered to be kosher in the U.S. (probably because of our Puritan heritage), that is not true everywhere, and assuming that your antagonist has the same values as you can be quite presumptuous on your part. In addition (as noted by another poster), when you confront somebody like that, you have no idea how he/she is going to react or even if they are carrying a concealed weapon which could prove fatal to your husband and, possibly, even to you. Therefore, I think a much safer course of action for your husband would have been to complain to management about the situation and have them deal (or not deal) with it as they chose.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2019 07:57PM by blindguy.

Lol..reportedly the man was fondling his girlfriend in front of children. In my opinion, a public display of affection is acceptable in the USA to a point for reasonable people. In the US our "presumptions" are based on a what a reasonable person would find tolerable. If a man fondles his girlfriend in public and especially in full view of children - I, along with millions of other reasonable people will find that an "antagonist" has crossed the line. I don't agree with you on the "presumptions" part. That argument overlooks the "reasonable person standard" set in a given society. Probably in your country, people fondle each other all day long in public, and it's perfectly acceptable in front of children. What country do you live in? I am sure you are very grateful not to live in a puritan society such as the US.

I have traveled extensively, and lived in countries other than the USA, and I have never noticed inappropriate PDA's in any country, other than France. That's just my experience.

Good for your husband! I like it when someone speaks up for the rights of the majority. IMO, the diners pay for the entire restaurant experience, so, in a way, they own it, while they are there. I'm sure the other diners felt like applauding your husband.

Happy Birthday!

I take it back, about France!

I was remembering the lovers along the banks of the Seine. Never, in any public restaurant, including in France, have I ever seen such a display.

I would just say "HI." with a smile and wink, and then, " And did you know that breast feeding in public is only for children under one? But it makes me happy to see people in love. Buen Provecho!"

Then I would have a comical talk with my kids as to why we don't do some things in pubic even though they are okay in private.

However, Rule number one is Know Your Audience!

Of course I don't have kids, so what do I know?

I'm with those who feel fondling a breast crosses a line. If management doesn't care to deal with it, I have no problem with someone telling the couple to knock it off. Hence the response, "Get a room."

Wow, I can't believe this is still on here. Just checking in today. Well thank you all for giving me your opinion. Yeah, my hub is a big muscular guy. Nobody messes with him, and when he speaks people listen. It was no big deal to him.

This is no worse than a mom and dad with their 6 under 5 year old kids in a restaurant who allow the 4 who can walk to play tag. I could've yelled (or said something quietly) but I found a better response. My 22 year old daughter and I decided to play tag too. She ran, I chased, and caught her right by their table. I yelled tag, smiled at mom and dad, and all was wonderful in the universe.

So to compare, the OP should have started making out, fondling, and having sex with her husband on the table, smiling at the couple, and then all would have been right in the universe?

I agree, out of control kids suck in a restaurant, but it's different than lewd behavior behavior by adults in front of children. Bad comparison Dr. Phil.