A man I have been secretly in love with all my life has a website, and a blog, and want to go on there and read it--but I don't want him to know every time I visit his site. It's complicated, because he wants a relationship with me, and I don't want to lead him on. He's married, and I want nothing to do with that! He's an amazing person, with stimulating ideas, and a great sense of humor, and I miss having him brighten up my days.

Can I link to his public website, without him knowing? He's not requiring any "log-in". People's comments are also in plain view for all to see.

Does the RFM website record everyone who goes onto the site to just lurk, and not long in? Often, I lurk at 3:00 am, when pain keeps me awake, and it's embarrassing.

Yes and no. Depending on what he is running it MAY collect data or cookie. It will not say you visited, but it may show your IP. Different cookies can do different things. Cookies here "eat" themselves when you do a hard log out.

Use a VPN

My wife-beater temple ex-husband and his Mormon GA family claim to own my children, sealed by that long-divorced temple marriage, even though my children were born several years later, and fathered by my second husband. My children have never met this man or his family, and I want to stop them from stalking us. This is one of the main reasons we all resigned from the cult, and refute all the temple ordinances and rituals.

I also have a con-man Mormon relative, who has all of my personal identity information, SS number (sent to him in a group business e-mail by an idiot relative), and bank account information, though I change my accounts periodically. He is very computer savvy, and was a programmer for Apple--or claims that he was.... He has already stolen thousands of dollars from some of our relatives.

--Is it possible for someone to pull up in front of my house and hack into my computer?

I'm new at this internet communication thing, and it's scary, because I do all my financials online.

Yikes, Exminion!

Scary Mormon stalking and harassment is one of the reasons my family and I formally resigned. Just stopping our attendance didn't work with this CULT. Our formal and firm resignation ended most of the stalking, which turned into shunning, which hurt our feelings at first, but wasn't as damaging as the harassment.

I hope someone answers our Newbie questions, on how to better protect our privacy and money on the internet.

Thanks, Susan. I have always been safe on RFM!

Which VPN do you use? Which is the best?

If I use the wifi at the coffee shop, can outsiders get access to my banking information, even if I'm not banking or shopping online?

Websites always get your IP address. That is the only way the web site has of displaying a page in your browser. The owner may or may not know how to save and access that information, but it is a possibility.

We're monitoring you right now ... and reading your browser history !

I can activate your laptop chat-camera.



Stop picking your nose!!!

Susan I/S is essentially correct. That said, many browsers, including Internet Explorer (which is no longer being updated) and Firefox, have means to make it very difficult for website owners to track you. In both cases, the strictest browsing experience is called In-Private browsing, and it allows you to visit websites without leaving any cookies after you're gone. The downside (for those who might be interested) is that you cannot create or save any settings from sites you visit while in in-private browsing, because the history of your having been on the site and any settings changes you made to its settings will be erased once you leave the site.

"It's complicated because he wants a relationship with me"

In my opinion, if he's IT savvy enought to have his own blog and public website, he is most likely able to identify ISP addresses - and he most likely wants you to visit often, since he wants you (as you indicated).

Wife and I were watching a 20/20 special last night about a couple who had been married for 24 years, and the man found a woman was 15 years younger, much prettier, and he was going leave his wife for her. Well the "wife" of 24 years didn't like that obviously, bought a 357 mag, and ended up committing murder/suicide. Having been around awhile, I understand the "passion" that comes in relationships (and ending of them). If I were you, I wouldn't visit his blog, wouldn't talk to him, or interact with him in anyway until he divorces his wife once and for all. You're playing with fire. He no longer wants to be in that marriage - I totally understand it, but he needs to end it before expressing that he "wants" someone else.

Just be very careful.

P.S. Wanted to clarify - the "wife" ended up committing murder / suicide of herself and the other woman. She did not murder her husband as you would expect. Hub is still alive and breathing. The wife broke into the woman's house and waited for her to come home. She had hired a company to research ISP addresses, "duplicate" the phone", placed bugs everywhere, etc. You have heard of a "woman's scorn" - it's a true phenomenon.

A woman scorned can develop a womanly ire.

An agency I did some contract work with somehow tracked me. I had visited their public portal, a non-login website, several times over a couple of weeks to take a look at available jobs. I got an email from the guy who ran the company and said he noticed that I had been visiting the site a lot recently and he wanted to know if he could be of service in assisting in helping me get some new work. Don't know how he knew I was visiting the site.