I've always wondered what's with the term General AUTHORITY sounds like some military dictatorship WW2 style crap!

And can he ever be made the Postmaster-Generalissimo?

Because their authority isn't specific. :-)

I can imagine Bednar clubbing me on the shins: “You will respect my authoritah!”

IMO, General Authority equals “Know It All”, which is who they think they are.

Like a general power of attorney authorizes one person to do just about anything and make just about any decision for another person. In the case of the pretentious Mormon leaders, "God" has authorized them to do and say just about anything for and on behalf of God and in his name.

Meanwhile, lower life forms in the Mormon priesthood hierarchy only have a limited power of attorney, granted to them by the super special guys who have gotten a general power of attorney from God.

Like a bishop can get "revelation" for his ward, so long as it doesn't contradict anything that the "General Authorities" decree. But he can't get "revelation" for another ward. And he can be countermanded by the General Authorities at any time. A bishop is therefore a "Limited Authority" guy. General Authorities are the small, elect few who have transcended Limited Authority status. Everyone else in the priesthood system is just a Limited Authority.

But the good news is that I've started calling myself a "Supreme Authority" (even got the business cards printed up last week). I don't want to ever be in a position where someone can shut me down with a quote from a General Authority. If things go as planned, I'll have a pretty decent cult operation of my own set up and functioning well by the end of next year. Just need to find a few more people who will be impressed by the "Supreme Authority" label.

Wally:

You'll need some pin-back lapel buttons, wall calendars, and other promotional materials...

The official name of my cult...er...I mean my one and only true church...is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Supreme Authority of Ladder-day Saints."

"Ladder-day" refers to a special restored ordinance where we climb a ladder, thoroughly rubbed down with consecrated oil, symbolizing our struggle to ascend to the Celestial Kingdom. Ladder-day comes once every 3 months in our worship service. All participating in the ordinance will be strapped into harnesses suspended from the ceiling for safety and representing the atonement, for "we are saved and exalted by the grace of Jesus after all we can do for ourselves on the slippery ladder."

My cult is "The International Worldwide Church of Christian Sciencology for the Unification of Krishna's Latter-day Witnesses."

We use the "People's Popular Paraphrase" of the Bible (all gender pronouns and judgmental verses about sin are expurgated). Our theology is "Generic Christianity--the Covenant of Convenience for Christians Who Can't Cope with Commitment."

I'll have my people contact your people to compare cash flows, merchandising programs, real estate portfolios and so on, so that the pre-merger valuations will be accurate and appropriately reflected in the post-merger ministry structure.

One of our biggest sellers is the "Christus Crystal" made of hardened acrylic with a miniature 8-ball in the center that shows different inspirational messages when shaken. "You can do it" and "Don't stick your head in the oven today because there's always tomorrow!" are a couple of examples.

We'll also have to discuss the management of some of our elite seminary programs, such as our institute to be established in Waikiki -- "The Theological Ministry of the Snozzumenical Congregation of the First Advent of the Wiki Wiki Risen Christ in Kalikimaka."

I definitely admire your movement. It reminds me in some aspects of the great "Church of What's Happening Now" which thrived for a time before being recalled back to heaven due to the people not being ready for its profoundly profundificacious profundity.

As with most pre-nups, it is best for the principals to set back and let seasoned professionals make the arrangements. I have a team of hardened Scientologists to represent the United Worldwide Church. If you haven't yet arranged for your own shyster, I can recommend a team of experienced, cut-throat Unitarians.

My first order of business will be to merge our semen-aries, the Institute of Higher Humility and the Great Muddy River Theological Institute, which issues the more advanced degree of Doctor of Duplicity. After that, we should be ready to rock n roll. We expect to do a land-rush business at yard sales, flea markets, psychotic fairs, and homeless shelters everywhere. The point is to make it easy for our franchisees to get up and running. After all, someday these will be our Triple-Platinum-Black Diamond-Founder-Ambassadors? (Or should we make them "Apostles?")

"General Authority" is a church code for those who receive a 'modest stipend'+ benefits as opposed to everyone else called to church positions that are just lowly volunteers.

Hahaaaaa messygoop that was damn funny!

Wait!

who's the Village Idiot? or, is that too political as I suspect...

I will always remember the bumpersticker from the late 60s:


QUESTION AUTHORITY



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2019 11:13AM by breedumyung.

"General" because they are at war and these are their generals. "Authority" because without spelling it out, people would forget that they have much to share in the way of anything useful in leading people or helping them. They are just a bunch of generals going and trying to inspire their Christian soldiers without their weak "authority."

Because they generally take all your authority away, and exercise authority over the general aspects of your life.....and general aspects means everything.

The great and powerful Oz knows all, sees all. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

The Watchtower (JW's) are nearly identical with their naming.

They have the Governing Body. ( top guys)
Each congregation has a body of elders
etc.

https://jwsurvey.org/news/governing-body-of-jehovahs-witnesses-named-as-defendants-in-child-abuse-lawsuits

In the above link is a picture that should look familiar. JW leaders. There is one person of color.

Same songs slightly different band.

Because "Private Authority" might give the impression it involves sexual organs.

Mahonri1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Because "Private Authority" might give the
> impression it involves sexual organs.

General, as in not specific. nothing at all to do with a rank.

Razor Wrote:
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> I've always wondered what's with the term General
> AUTHORITY sounds like some military dictatorship
> WW2 style crap!
You would rather have them be a Colonel authority? Or maybe a Captain Authority?

I’ve searched and I can’t see why the mormon cult leaders decided to call them this. It used to be a member of the Quorum of the Seventy. Although jesus never had more than twelve apostles (I say this with tongue in cheek because I don’t believe in the bible either) this at least made some sense to me back in the day. Mormons claimed that the seventy were part of the order of the priesthood from jesus’ original church. But it seems then they needed even more Cult Leaders so they invented the second quorum of the seventy.
But this was a mouthful so once they had so many cult leaders, they stopped bothering reminding everyone these were jesus’ disciples and just called them all general authorities. Apparently laziness comes with cult power, to the point they no longer bother so much with that sham. An interesting acknowledgement that they are not jesus disciples. They’re so lazy and drunk with power they don’t care about appearances so much.

This is just my take on it and my understanding. But of course nothing they do makes sense anyway.

I find the terms melchizedek and aaronic priesthood amusing now. I was told as a convert that these priesthoods were from jesus’ original church. I think that actually they were random priests from the Old Testament. Does anyone know more on this? Because this alone shows that Joseph Smith has a very elaborate imagination. Not only did he just make shit up, he then falsified the reasons behind it as well. Hilarious. Were priesthoods actually a thing in the New Testament even? I think if I were a christian I would struggle relearning the whole thing after being a mormon.

I’m not sure Joseph Smith would have approved of the term general authority.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/23/2019 12:56AM by LJ12.

I actually asked a GA this question. He stuttered around for a bit and then mumbled something. I never got an answer to my question.

So, my conclusion is that the GA's don't even know what they are a supposed "general authority" of. They just play the part and do what they're told. General authority of nothing, and general butt kissers of those who out rank them.

They are just corporate terms that make up the bureaucracy of the church. Even Nelson has bought into this. He recently told the BYU students that "as President of the church, I give you a blessing..." Why not say as God's chosen profit?

So Prez Nelson is a 4 star general then lol. What a freak show!

5 star. He has the Kolob light pen. He has all the points of fellowship. He has all the keys.

He is their Generalissimo.

Wikipedia has a page on this issue.

I think it's worth a peek. It answers questions about "Who was the first GA ..."

As to the source or origin of the title, it says,

"The first scriptural use of the term general authority was in minutes of a meeting for the organization of the Presiding High Council in 1834. Though the original minutes did not refer to the term general authorities, the revised minutes, which were included in the 1835 edition of the Doctrine and Covenants, stated that decisions of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles "can only be called into question by the general authorities of the church in case of transgression."[3] The use of the term general authorities at this time and in this context is generally interpreted to include the First Presidency and the Presiding High Council."


...but then asks for a citation on the final 'generalization.'

ETA the linkity-link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_authority


But in the final analysis, all we can do is take off our cloth caps, wad them up as we clutch them to our bosoms, bow our heads and mutter amen. Docility is the order of the day, reverence is the order of the evening and domination the order of the night.

Guess who told me to write the last sentence...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/23/2019 09:54PM by elderolddog.

Razor Wrote:
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> I've always wondered what's with the term General AUTHORITY...

It's a claim to fame without an aim, just the same.

Old Mormon made-up "authority"/ callings/ SELF-APPOINTED (important sounding lol) TITLES.

Their only authority is on Mormonism, which is all made up anyway.

Authority in lies
General LDS un-truths

I always heard it was because they had authority to go anywhere where there was a church unit, their authority was not limited to a specific geographical area

That makes sense!

General, GEOGRAPHICALLY

I am a General Authority
A TOURIST. Globetrotter.
An ETERNAL TRAVELER

That's ME

I also prophecy, and seer and lead and guide and get walked besides...

I really need to travel more

It is the religious equivalent of having a doctorate in general studies. Religious know-it-all-ism.