Anything you want him to be.

Razortooth Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anything you want him to be.

Why assume God has a penis?

I'm reminded of that ancient Egyptian hymn:

"Osiris has a Rick I know...for the obelisk tells me so..."

And that other inspirational hymn"

"Put your shoulder to the obelisk, push it u~up..."

And who can forget the timeless: "We~ee thank thee... Osiris for an ob~e~lisk..."

schrodingerscat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Razortooth Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anything you want him to be.
>
> Why assume God has a penis?

Why assume that "he" refers to someone that must have a penis?

xxMo0 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> schrodingerscat Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Razortooth Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Anything you want him to be.
> >
> > Why assume God has a penis?
>
> Why assume that "he" refers to someone that must
> have a penis?
What "he" doesn't have a penis?

One who has undergone gender change surgery. God can just snap his fingers to go one way or the other depending what mood he’s in. I would definitely change for kicks. Then I’d grow tired of boobs and switch back.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One who has undergone gender change surgery. God
> can just snap his fingers to go one way or the
> other depending what mood he’s in. I would
> definitely change for kicks. Then I’d grow tired
> of boobs and switch back.

If a he undergoes gender change surgery that make them a her, anatomically,

> Then I’d grow tired
> of boobs...


Seriously?

It might take a while. God boobs would never sag.

The creative force behind all that exists.

sbj Wrote:
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> The creative force behind all that exists.
So, another name for Nature.
We agree.

schrodingerscat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> sbj Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The creative force behind all that exists.
> So, another name for Nature.
> We agree.

You're conflating creator and creation there.

Honestly? A lot of peoples favourite invisible friend.

are you a lot of people?

Who?

I don't believe in your gawd or any gawd.

End of story.

Huh ?

Someone or something that obviously doesn't want us to know anything about him/her/it.

If there is a god, he/she/it isn't represented by any religion I've ever encountered.

A mysterious person who lives far far away. A cross between Santa Clause, who gives away free stuff, and Jadis, the White Witch.

macaRomney Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A mysterious person who lives far far away. A
> cross between Santa Clause, who gives away free
> stuff, and Jadis, the White Witch.

There is no "far far away"

Good ol' ghawd!

Here's one thing about him...

The oddsmakers in Vegas and New Jersey would have no problem setting the odds as to miracles performed by ghawd on a supplicant's behalf. I know hardly anything setting odds when real money is involved but I think I can give you a general idea:

1) getting ghawd to help you find your car keys - 77% chance that he'll come through for you.

2) getting ghawd to help you find your car keys in time for you to get to work on time - 1% chance that he'll come through for you because this is about YOU, not him. You're an idiot if when it's time to leave for work you can't find where you left the keys.

3) passing your physics final - 15% you'll pass. If you have to pray for ghawd to see you through, you get the same odds as guessing.

4) surviving tomorrow morning's appendectomy - 97% you'll make it. And it has nothing to do with ghawd.

5) getting that cute girl, an 8, to go to the prom with you. The Vegas oddsmakers need a photo of you and a sample of your handwriting, and they'll nail what your chances are. Again, ghawd doesn't have a lot to with it. Of course, you can hope that he's into overruling the girl's free agency and turning her into a sexual zombie for your entertainment delight.


You see where this is going?

Are the oddsmakers going to lose one every once in a while? Yes.

Did U. of Toledo beat BYU this morning? Yes.

You can see that ghawd and the results that can be pinned to him don't come out at the end looking all that divine. He ends up being subsumed within the Bell-Shaped Curve.

Nothing

An afterthought

The imaginary friend of simple minded people.

Just short of a four letter word.

The consciousness that lives inside my mitochondrial DNA.

Missing In Action. Has been, for a long time.

A Question Mark....until evidence proves otherwise.

Non existent

He has a body of flesh and bone, like us

Does He poop?

Remember how the Brother of Jared saw the finger of God, and heard God's voice say "pull my finger"?

Then there was a mighty thunderous roar, a stench of sulfur... and next thing you know Bruddah ov Jared gots himself some poopstones that will work as lanterns in the barge that is tight like unto a dish. That was in the ancient times, even before the Knee Fights and Laminates went to America.

Somehow one of them poopstones ends up in the vicinity of Palmyra, New York and then, long story short, it finds its way into Joseph Smith's hat, where it performs a marvelous work and a wonder.

One night, while Joseph and his Emma was a sleepin in the cabin, a strange, scraggly looking fellow sneaked in and went straight to the poopstone, saying, "yesss, we have found our presshus! Nasty, tricksy lying mans stole our presshus and puts it in his stinky hat..." Then something happened with some eagles and a big glowing eye in the sky.... The historical record gets a bit confusing at this point.

That's when Alan Parsons got involved.

Do you mean I Robot, Dark Side of the Moon Alan Parsons?

Hit up Roy for some Jamaican and listen to this, which, as an educated man nearing retirement, you should already know well!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euhgMBgTB34

L O L. I love this.

Thank you. Hilarious.

The kingdom of God is within you.....I truly believe this

I can be more specific: the kingdom of ghawd is in our pants.

And is evil of the devil is d'evil of the evil.

And if a weevil is evil was evil knievel a weevil?

If there is no god, why do so many people say OMG? Ten thousand Frenchmen CAN be wrong. But 10 million millennials? I find that hard to believe.

What kind of god can be bought off with a barbecue? And yet that's what the Old Testament would have us believe. Cain got cursed and hated by God because he offered to God a salad. Abel was favored by God because he invited God to a barbecue. Turns out Cain was offering to God a healthier diet. God wasn't having any of it because he thought he was immortal. Turns out he was, but he still developed a bad case of divine diabetes due to all the junk food that the Israelites constantly used to bribe him.

A tool used by confidence men. A con needs a gimmick.

All I know is sometimes He gets a bit crazy and just to stop the boredom he tosses Coca-Cola bottle from the sky to stir things up with the natives. Or, sometimes, apparently , a peepstone. That one worked even better than the Coke bottle or Jesus on toast.


What a Joker!

"Yes I believe in God, if by the word. 'God' you mean the embodiment of the immutable laws that govern nature." Sagan

"When I use the word,god,I use it in the same, impersonal sense as Einstein, to mean, the laws governing nature. So to know the mind of god us to know the laws that govern nature. I predict we will know the mind of god by the end of this Century. The best candidate for a theory of everything is M theory." Sagan

"We finally have a good candidate for what Einstein called 'The mind of God'. The mind of God is cosmic music,vibrating quantum strings, that resonate through the 11 dimensions of hyperspace." Kaku

Lift up your skirt, pull down your pants, rejoice again I say rejoice!
Sorry, off topic, I just like singing that hymn.

Come, come ye saints.

To me, ghawd is an enigma wrapped in a wonton, coated with dipping sauce and fleck of wasabi.

Craft beer doesn't have to be involved, but it doesn't hurt.

Well if we are going that route, and they represent the flesh and the blood, then to me gawd is a Jalapeno and Cheese Tamale from King Tacos. Margarita mandatory. My kind of sacrament!

Well basicall it's my chicken fried just right, a cold beer on a Friday night, and the radio up.

Also:

ghawd's a warm Saucie on a chilly night,

a great saucie savior, my heart's delight.

each morning I rise, all chipper and bright,

cuz long as she's with me, life is alright.

(sung to the melody of the Mexican hit song of 1943, "Mis pulgas te aman; seas mi mujer y lavame mis chones, ai, ai, mamacita!")

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Also:
>
> ghawd's a warm Saucie on a chilly night,
>
> a great saucie savior, my heart's delight.
>
> each morning I rise, all chipper and bright,
>
> cuz long as she's with me, life is alright.
>
> (sung to the melody of the Mexican hit song of
> 1943, "Mis pulgas te aman; seas mi mujer y lavame
> mis chones, ai, ai, mamacita!")

I truly think you deserve the Pulitzer Prize for this one.

Must be so bored.

There was a great Australian Rules footballer in the 1980s called Gary Ablett, who was so freakishly talented that he was known as 'God'.

His son, also called Gary, turned out to be equally talented and was thus known as 'Son of God'. Trouble is, he is a god-fearing Christian, so doesn't like the nickname.

Some being who does this.

https://www.ksn.com/news/local/feet-from-the-finish-line-andover-man-dies-after-being-struck-by-lightning/

I bet he would have preferred to finish his race than be resting with Jesus.

Ineffable.

Whatever you put above everyone and everything else including yourself. I don't believe in God(s).

In terms of this board, I see God as a figurative football which allows certain people to feel superior to others.

You thought I was referring to believers there, right? Well, in actual fact I'm not. I'm talking about unbelievers. The notion of God is something which allows them to elevate themselves above those who do believe, socially and intellectually. They will use phrases like "invisible friend", "fairy story" etc, which helps them think they are somehow better than them. "Haha, you believe in God", they are saying, "Which makes you a greater idiot than me."

In reality, the question of God is something which has little bearing on whether Mormonism is true or false. If God does not exist, then Mormonism is false, but just because Mormonism is false, then it does not follow that God does not exist. Contrary to what some people on here think, the question of God has never been solved one way or another.

If there is a God, I see it as being a higher intelligence, perhaps well beyond our ability to comprehend.

CWKMV. I do not like the tone of this! Please realize, we are all in various states of ‘coming out’! While this site has been a saver of questioning my decisions, yet knowing how profoundly correct they are, the profound depth of loss lives with me still. Helpful??

I am afraid to own a Body --
I am afraid to own a Soul --
Profound -- precarious Property --
Possession, not optional --

Double Estate -- entailed at pleasure
Upon an unsuspecting Heir --
Duke in a moment of Deathlessness
And God, for a Frontier.

--Emily Dickinson--


It is incomprehensible that God should exist, and it is incomprehensible that He should not exist; that the soul should be joined to the body, and that we should have no soul; that the world should be created, and that it should not be created, etc; that original sin should be, and that it should not be.

--Blaise Pascal--
--Pensees--


God enters by a private door into every individual.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson--
--"Intellect"--


But God's own descent
Into flesh was meant
As a demonstration
that the supreme merit
Lay in risking spirit
In substantiation.

--Robert Frost--
--"Kitty Hawk"--


And if we obey God, we must disobey ourselves; and it is in this disobeying ourselves, wherein the hardness of obeying God consists.

--Herman Melville--
--Moby Dick--


The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways --I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows.

--Plato--
--Socrates in Apology--


It is I, the ungodly Zarathustra, who saith: "who is ungodlier than I, that I may enjoy his teaching?"

--Friedrich Nietzsche--
--Thus Spake Zarathustra--


I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance.

--Friedrich Nietzsche--
--Thus Spake Zarathustra--


Whoever thinks that the understanding of things Divine rests upon strict proofs has in his thought narrowed down the wideness of God's mercy.

--Al-Ghazali--
--Deliverance from Error--


It seem'd like Omnipresence! God, methought,
Had built him there a Temple: the whole World
Seem'd imag'd in its vast circumference:
No wish profan'd my overwhelmed heart.
Blest hour! It was a luxury, -- to be!

--Samuel Taylor Coleridge--
--"Reflections on having Left a Place of Retirement"--


It has been said that the highest praise of God consists in the denial of Him by the atheist, who finds creation so perfect that he can dispense with a creator.

--Marcel Proust--
(I love Proust's irony. Clever fellow, that guy.)


It were better to have no opinion of God at all, than such an opinion, as is unworthy of him: for the one is unbelief, the other is contumely: and certainly superstition is the reproach of the deity.

--Francis Bacon--
--"Of Superstition"--


Of Course -- I prayed --
And did God Care?
He cared as much as on the Air
A Bird -- had stamped her foot --
And cried "Give Me" --
My Reason -- Life --
I had not had -- but for Yourself --
'Twere better Charity
To leave me in the Atom's Tomb --
Merry, and Nought, and gay, and numb --
Than this smart Misery.

--Emily Dickinson--


"Politics is action and all action is but a flaw in the Perfection of inaction, which is peace, just as all being is but a flaw in the perfection of non-being. Which is God. For if God is perfection and the only perfection is in nonbeing, then God is nonbeing. Then God is nothing. Nothing can give no basis for the criticisms of Thing in its thingness. Then where do you get anything to say?"

--Robert Penn Warren--
--All the King's Men--


"I can't help praising the Lord. As I go along the street, I lift up one foot, and it seems to say 'Glory'; and I lift up the other, and it seems to say 'Amen'; and so they keep up like that all the time I am walking."

--Billy Bray--
--As quoted by William James--
--Varieties of Religious Experience--


When a pious relative who asked him if he made peace with God, Thoreau replied, "I am not aware that we ever quarreled."

And then some...

Human