Mother Who Knows
Date: October 12, 2019 01:50AM
This is a personal decision for you. I think all of us left for our own personal reasons, although the facts are the same, and the reasons overlap. Everyone is an individual--something Mormonism does not teach--and has their own questions, experiences, motives, etc.
So--I would tell you to go and find out! That's what I did, mistakenly thinking that "Mormonism is the best way to raise children", which is a lie. My children's father abandoned us, in a new city, without any alimony or child support, or any contact at all. I felt desperate, and alone, so I went back to the cult. We were in a mostly Mormon neighborhood, in SLC, and the ward house was only a block away. My cousin and her family went to that ward.
After two years of giving it a real try, I realized that the Mormon church was making our life worse. I won't go into all the reasons, but the Mormons treated us like dirt, because we were "a broken home" and I was single, and not wanting to get married, and working outside the home. I didn't like paying 10% of my money, when I was the sole support of my children. The cult even asked my kids to pay tithing on their paper routes and babysitting and yard work! We never had welfare, or any evidence of a "support system" that the Mormons brag about. I was bogged-down with two time-consuming callings. I was exhausted and ill, and needed rest. Church depressed me. The kids hated church, and it was the only thing we ever really argued about. One day, I asked them why they hated church, and they told me! The Mormon priesthood leaders were physically abusing my children! They were abusing ALL the priesthood boys, not just mine. It was the way that ward did things. The abusive leaders got promoted to bishops, stake presidents, and even a GA "Seventies." I decided in an instant that this was not my culture, not my way of parenting, not my life, and I was gone!
You mentioned that your siblings need help. I know that feeling, of having to care for children or an elderly or sick adult--and you need all the help you can get! It's scary to be alone, with all that responsibility.
Did the Mormon church help us? Did it uplift us? No. It always depressed me. It seemed that the Mormons were working against us. When I quit my callings, and we stopped attending, the Mormons harassed us so badly, that we officially resigned, together, as a family.
Other religions don't teach that polygamy is still "God's way." Even now, today, the Mormon temple ceremony marries couples "in The New and Everlasting Covenant, which is polygamy. The president of the church has two temple wives.
I still believe in God and Christ, but not the Mormon version of God, and not the Mormon version of Christ-like behavior.
Between the time when we went inactive, and the time we resigned. I studied my way out of the church. I resolved to read only Mormon literature, to learn more about Mormon policies and history. I had already read the BOM 7 times, and thought it was awful and boring, and at times nonsensical.
Like you, I wanted to be sure my heart was leading me in the right direction, and it was! I always felt the presence of Satan in the temple. The facts that I discovered about JS and BY and Mormonism were so evil and disgusting, that I can never un-ring that bell. Some of my own ancestors were JS's neighbors, and in on the hoax and the polygamy.
For a while, we went to the Lutheran church, and had good friends there. The boys liked their multi-denominational neighborhood Scout troop, and they got their Eagle Scout awards. They made life-long non-Mormon friends, through sports, common interests, and just being good non-Mormon kids in the neighborhood. I have good non-Mormon friends, too, but virtually ALL of my Mormon neighbors have been shunning me for years, ever since we left. We left quietly, without a fuss, and I don't talk about religion or politics, as a rule of etiquette. I'm a moral, honest, loving Christian, but the Mormon treat me like I'm a follower of Satan.
I wasted two years, trying to "go back." It hurt my children, and exhausted and depressed me. If we had stayed in that church any longer, my job performance would have been effected, and my relationship with my children would have deteriorated. I have watched the Mormon families all around us, and we are so much happier and freer than they--and just as successful, if not more successful. (Seriously, there have been suicides in my ex's TBM family, and drug problems, and parents dis-owning their own children, and adultery, and scammers and thieves and abusers in the Mormon families I know. They aren't all that "special."
Go and find out for yourself--sometimes that's the best way--and be careful with your trust, and don't let your children be separated from you, and put into bad situations. Just be cautious, while you are investigating. Take note of how you feel--your gut reaction--to what is being said in the meetings, and what that church emphasizes. Ask your spouse and children--if you have them--how they feel while they are in a Mormon church.
Keep studying. You don't need to associate with apostates or read anit-Mormon stuff. The Mormon church does a good job of damning itself. Read the "CES Letters" and other stuff on the Mormon website, published by the Mormon church, itself. Go for it!