My adult daughter came out to me last night.

She handed me a small note attached to a rainbow themed gift that said "I don't believe anyone should HAVE to come out, but I wanted you to know. I love you, your daughter"

I stood up and cried and hugged her a long time. I told her "Baby, I already knew years ago, I just figured you would speak it on your own time".

She beamed and said "Yeah I figured you did, because you felt the need to have that convo with me years ago".

On a road trip, I had my clues that my daughter was not attracted to boys/men and told her that if that was the case, I wanted her to know that I accepted her for no matter what.

She said that gave her the courage to be more open and while it didn't change a thing, because she knows she can trust me and love her no matter what. I was honored. She wanted to share this with me privately and not via a Facebook post.

I have a dozen questions, but told her it was not the time for that, but we are getting together next weekend to express those thoughts on both sides.

I hugged her and kissed her and took her face and said I was always proud to be her Mommy, her Mom and now her friend. That I love her more than life itself and who ever she brought in her life was always welcome in mine.

I am so proud of my daughter for feeling confident in who she is and how she wants to live her life. She said it was because I helped empower her to be her genuine self.

Leaving Mormonism and my dysfunctional married did what I always hoped for my kids. It made them understand that being a part of someone else's rule and dreams was madness.

My heart also aches for her, because I know not all of our family members will understand and accept her. But she feels strong enough to handle it and I told her I have her back because no one messes with my baby..even if she is an adult.

I've always been so proud of my kids and now I have even more reason to shine, because in the face of adversity I have taught them to love themselves and live authentic lives.

I have a lot of racing thoughts, but I wanted to share in a safe place while our family navigates the rest....

RMM

Great for sharing these thoughts, RMM;

I hope your DD is also comfortable sharing with her father also, and he is loving regardless.

Dads are/can be good parents also!!

If you were trying to make my eyes moist and put a lump in my throat, it worked.

What you have done is what I would wish for every one.

Now that is what love, real love, is really about....You should be proud of yourself, as well

That’s beautiful, but if kids aren’t held to arbitrary worthiness standards, what’s next? Independent thinking?

I'm weeping right now. You are a fine woman and a fine mother.

Your daughter is as fortunate to have you as you are to have her.

Why do (ex-)Mormons think weeping signals happiness? It's supposed to signal grief. I would weep if she was a *bad* mother, not a good one.

I lost the habit long ago. I used to be able to turn the faucets on at will. Not anymore. My "gentile" coworkers never understood why I did this when I was supposed to be happy. Eventually I worked out it was a Mormon thing.

I was grinning as I read this. I thought of all the possibilities.

Count me in the 'Yippee!' column upon reading this news...

> Why do (ex-)Mormons think weeping signals
> happiness?

I'm not sure anyone said that. I, for one, was describing my physical reaction to the story, not what the reaction meant.


------------------
> It's supposed to signal grief.

It seems as if you, not we, are the one claiming that certain physiological responses must normatively arise from pre-defined emotions. And aren't you objectively incorrect? Look up the idiom "weep for joy" and see if your views are either psychologically or experientially valid.


---------------
> I would
> weep if she was a *bad* mother, not a good one.

And your reaction would be perfectly natural, as is true of ours.


-------------------
> I lost the habit long ago.

Congratulations.


------------------
> I used to be able to
> turn the faucets on at will. Not anymore. My
> "gentile" coworkers never understood why I did
> this when I was supposed to be happy. Eventually I
> worked out it was a Mormon thing.

Well, you reached an illogical conclusion.


---------------
> I was grinning as I read this. I thought of all
> the possibilities.

Apparently you failed to think of two possibilities: 1) that people experience emotions differently; and 2) that weeping for joy is more than a Mormon phenomenon.

I'm proud of you and your daughter. Thank you.

When I think of the ones who don't have love and acceptance, it breaks my heart. My brother in law was rejected by his mother because he was gay. It was devastating for him and so unnecessary.

I have tears in my eyes, too.

Very well done, RMM.

I am so glad for both of you, that you have each other.

Thank goodness we now live in a time when a reaction like this can happen.

Thanks for sharing with us. I'm happy for you. An affirmation like that can sure make a parent feel good.

Did all your children find their way out of LDS, Inc? Sounds like it.

I already feel bad that I may have encouraged someone at sometime to join LDS, Inc. but I hope not. That would be my only regret in life. I was a rotten missionary and proud of it now.

It's lovely that you have such a good, strong relationship with your daughter, and that she feels safe enough to trust you with such an important truth. It's a win for everyone. :)

I love this so much!

This is beautiful on so many levels!

We live in a time when it is OK to be gay.

While you may have belonged to a toxic church at one time, you are free of it now, and are able to love your daughter for who she is.

She loves and trusts you so much that she can confide the truth about herself to you, and knows that you love her every bit as much.

Thank you for sharing. This is what effective parenting looks like, as I see it.

RMM,

You done REAL good! I have two twin daughters, not identical, but I think about if they come out. I have already in my mind know I will love them unconditionally. I look like the quintessential peter priesthood too lol. I love my babies no matter what. Nothing will change that.

In just a few short years the words 'normal' and 'heterosexual' will only be found in faded old dictionaries, covered with dust and ignored, along with the strict humans that used to rule the world with purity and righteousness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK8pC6xjIzI

You handled that beautifully RMM. Your daughter is lucky to have such a wise mother.

Tom in Paris

Welcome to the club.

RMM,
Yes, welcome to the club. My daughter formally came out as bi-sexual on social media recently. (Gotta love 'em!)

I remember you. Aren't our daughters the lucky ones? The ones who were NOT raised in the church, The ones who were allowed to discover their own authentic selves?

We are one generation out of the church and the landscape for women has changed. Strong, independent, loving women are emerging....

With love to you & your daughter,
Shannon

Thanks for sharing. I glad she had such a supportive parent that she can count on.