The prevailing belief of Mormon Central seems to be that Hagoth - the sailor - is the one who populated the South Sea islands.

His ship sailed and the people there are Lamanites.

Wasn't Hagoth a Nephite?

Did he have a load of Lamanites to sell as slaves? Maybe as servants for his crew? Or lower paid potato peelers or something?

How do they go from a Nephite sailor to a whole bunch of islands populated by Lamanites?

And... is he responsible for the Aboriginies in Australia?

Yeah, verily it is likened unto the story of Egyptus in the Pearl of Great Price by which the curse of Cain was propagated.

Clearly some of Hagoth's people had married Lamanites and thus the curse of the Lamanites was spread to the Pacific islands.

Maybe if we had a prophet or something who could ask God.

Oh, wait...

Maybe they were Nephites when they set sail, but then sinned half way there and caught the curse?

If only they had a vaccine.

They do, it's called resignation from the cult.

100% effective; with only pleasant side effects.

as is delamanization. I believe that is what Spencer W. Kimball was trying to tell us.

We can all become Lamanites (but the outward manifestation may not be clear until later generations arise). Similarly, we can all become delamanized. It's all supported by science. (The relevant scientific papers are held in the First Presidency's vault.)

So it's easy to see that once the Nephites in Hawaii and New Zealand (and other such places) started dressing immodestly, started doing lascivious dances and started praying to volcano gods, they became Lamanites after just a few generations. While remaining in the house of Lehi, their lineage was metaphysically transferred from Nephi and Sam to that of Laman and Lemuel. No further details are available at this time.

Every time I see a vexingly seductive hula dancer, I have to yell out: "Get thee behind me you Lamanite wench, you sinful seductress! Get thee behind me! Lead me not into temptation...until the Hula show is over."

Bwahahahaha...dude...you're like the Bill Burr for us exmo's. You are one funny guy. I wish you would do a comedy podcast for Mormonism. I am curious, were you a Bishop or SP?

Ted Wrote:
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> I am
> curious, were you a Bishop or SP?


Nope. I served a mission and was out about 2 years after my mission (after spending time at YBU, where I studied the real history of the church in the Harold B. Lee library).

I realized that the Church was fake too soon to make it far up the ladder of make-believe authority. I had some minor leadership positions on my mission...which got me close enough to the MP to realize that the typical LDS mission is managed with about the same amount of inspiration as a Pizza Hut franchise. The labels and parlance are different, but the substance is the same.

Just imagine a Pizza Hut operation using Mormon modes of expression:

Pizza missionary A: "This is the 4th time that Elder Jones has messed up the crust preparation. I don't understand why I'm stuck cleaning tables, even though everyone knows I make perfect crusts. I wonder if it's because Elder Jones is Pizza President Jones's nephew."

Pizza missionary B: "I'm shocked that you would speak evil of Pizza President Jones. He has been called by the Pizza Prophet to serve in this position and receives inspiration from the Pizza Ghost. We may not understand why Elder Jones is on the management promotion track and we are not. But we can have faith that it's part of a bigger plan of Pizza God."

Yep, def can relate. I was a 2-year RM, YBU grad, etc. Same, found hidden historical references...and started putting it all together. Love the pizza analogy. I served in very paush mission in Europe...lots of GA offspring there. That's exactly what happened (pizza analogy). It was crazy. Glad you wised up like I did.

Is that you, Pierre Delecto?

No, but funny you should mention that. I was companions with one of those clan. One spoiled lil' ****.

laminates. Other than for those that use steel-hulled boats, virtually all other types of quality boats must be built using laminates.

in b 4 ~ ziller identifies as a "pacific islander" on the next census for the LOLs ~

...you can move to Maoriland, which is right next to Washington, D.C., the seat of federal power.

That's your best option, if you're not a virgin and therefore cannot move to Virginia.

Maybe he is a pen and hence can move to Pennsylvania--or a Mary who can live in Maryland--both of which are close to Washington, known primarily for its Ethiopian food.

...only pens found in the woods would be eligible.