On the one hand, I know how difficult of a process this was for
Ed. But, I still weep for his faithful wife.

https://www.sltrib.com/news/nation-world/2019/11/04/utahn-ed-smart-speak/

I won't be attending his speech.

I'm glad he came out, but they need to have the wives speak. Maybe she doesn't want to. I probably wouldn't have in her position. It took time for me to want to talk about it other than to my therapist and family. I really would like to hear what she has to say.

I would, too. She needs to know there are others who have and are walking in her shoes.

It's absolutely brutal for the wives. These situations are so very difficult for everyone concerned. . .

When the father comes blasting out of the closet and abandons the family. Even adult children suffer from a divorce of any kind, but if they are believing LDS, this is horrible. Who do you choose? I know Emily Pearson talked about how she felt like she had to choose between her father or the LDS church when she was just a teenager.

Just last week I went to see a movie with my daughter, her husband, and some of the members of his family. I've known his family for 33 years and they are WONDERFUL people. As my daughter, SIL and I were driving home, I said to him, 'You have such a nice family." Then I turned my daughter and said, "Sorry." We all laughed. Even if there is a lot we can laugh about now, there are deep-seated issues that my children and i will carry the rest of our lives. All I wanted in life was a nice family. I don't know that you can call us a nice family! Father and son are barely talking. Their father I don't believe knows how to love because of his childhood (and it has nothing to do with him being gay for those who think it is) and my kids still test him to see if he loves them, if he'll abandon them again. He needs all of us as we are the only REAL family he has, but it is NEVER easy. We've made this work in spite of what we were set up for by the lds church. My twins also barely speak to each other because she is TBM and he is ANTI.

My "husband" is right now "dating" a young man who is LDS and still believes, but is actively gay and smokes and drinks. You wnat so bad to help them see what it took us so long to see. You would think after the 36 years I've known he is gay that things would be better than they are now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2019 05:48AM by cl2.

Ideally kids have stability on both sides, but having one dedicated and loving parent is a lot more than many people get. Your family is fortunate to have you.

"Even adult children suffer from a divorce of any kind"


No necessarily. If the marriage was messed up, and it affected the children negatively, they could be relieved it ended. They might have been hoping for it for years, even lobbying for it.

Pity perfect couples.

Ed Smart, the inventor of the Selfie, long before the internet, never met a microphone he couldn't use.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux7HgO9QhAc

Ed protested and denied the rumors of his sexuality back in the hey day of his daughter's kidnapping ordeal. I'm glad he is brave now because he was sure a coward then.

This shows how dangerous and harmful the church is to gay people AND members of the opposite sex the gay people feel pressured to marry. No one wins.

I am so glad that I never married a woman like the church wanted me to. It would have caused a lot of harm to both of us and I would have missed out on 20 years of being with my husband. People are gay. I am so f'ing pissed that these stories still exist. I seriously hate the Mormon church.

+1

and there are many young people in their 20s in the church who think this is the way to go. The leaders are still telling them to get married.

A lot of lives destroyed INCLUDING the children. We can't forget the children. Somehow we've survived and I think we are doing pretty good, but it sure would have been nice if all of us could have just married someone who DESIRED us and I'm not talking just sexually, but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, etc. Having lived the gay/straight marriage, YOU KNOW there is something wrong. You feel it in every possible way you can't even imagine. When someone gay marries someone straight, they are BOTH with the wrong gender.

The old bishop who lives 2 doors down, we are sure his son is gay. He got home from his mission 2 years ago. My daughter is close to the family and she even asked me if I thought he is gay and I said, "Yes." He is at BYU. He doesn't date. He used to come to talk to my husband a lot when he was younger, just chatting out in the yard. He must be living in hell at this point. All these years and yet we haven't made really any progress.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2019 07:17PM by cl2.