Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: june ( )
Date: November 29, 2019 09:58PM

I wasn't sure where to ask this... I found this site several weeks ago. I told my husband about it. Now, we are both on this site. Is it inappropriate for both of us to be on here? Are there people on this site that know each other in person? Thank you.

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Posted by: ptbarnum ( )
Date: November 29, 2019 10:05PM

I think there's a few couples here. Welcome. I don't think there's any propriety problem with a couple getting support from the same board, I would say it's maybe up to you two about what each partner might consider an overshare about personal life, but from the board's end... no such rule exists so far as I know.

I am not admin in any way, shape or form so I expect those people and other longer term members will soon provide fabulous advice on how to RfM in pairs.

Happy exmo vibes!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/29/2019 10:05PM by ptbarnum.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: November 29, 2019 10:17PM

You're fine. There are couples that post here. Welcome!

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 09:21AM

Welcome. This place is eye-opening. It can be frustrating and funny but always a notch above other places in my humble opinion.

Grow thick skin because no sacred cow is exempt from scrutiny.

Enjoy the wacky world of Mormonism without the sugar coated family image they portray. Many people here lived the religion and can truthfully share their experiences.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 12:08PM

Having multiple people from a household posting is not a problem at all. You should use separate usernames. Even though posting is completely anonymous, over time we know what personality goes with particular usernames, and that can help interpret their comments. Two people on a username gets confusing.

You may see usernames like "anon for this time". That is meant to be used when discussing a personal/sensitive issue that might involve too much In Real Life personal information that the person does not want associated with their usual username.

Registering is not necessary, but if you register and are logged in when you post, you then have the option of editing your post. Also a registered username can't be used by anyone else. It's pretty rare, but sometimes someone will post under someone else's username. That is considered extremely bad form. Even if you register, your anonymity is totally protected. That is a very big deal here. We only know about you what you choose to tell us, and it is a good idea to err on the side of caution.

I mentioned that multiple people posting from a household is not a problem. One person posting under multiple usernames is a bit of a problem, especially if done deliberately to make it sound like multiple people on a thread are agreeing with a particular point of view. There's a technical term for that: sockpuppeting. There have been instances of people arguing Against themselves using a sock puppet! How weird is that.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 12:20PM

Does your brother "Jerry" post on this site? If so, that would be a good example.

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Posted by: girls at the office ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 06:42AM

A few of us use the same multiple computers at the office. We each have our own separate identity and e-mail address.

It depends on whether you want your spouse to know EVERYTHING about you. I often have to use an anonymous name, if I don't want my colleagues to know what I have posted.

I think it's a bit obnoxious when posters start a two-way private conversation with each other. This gives me flashbacks to Mormon social life, when I was unmarried in a couples world, and when snarky RS women would cut us out of conversations, or start gossiping about people, or whisper secrets behind our back, or make private little jokes and innuendos that were over our head.

We're here to be anonymous.

Also, everyone gets only one vote.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 10:53AM

My wife was on this site a couple of years before I followed her on the path to wickedness ;)

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Posted by: Warrior71783 ( )
Date: December 02, 2019 10:24AM

No lovey dovey posts towards each other is the only rule haha jk. I think old dog and saucie are a couple so you are good.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: December 02, 2019 10:35AM

You don't want one of you upset, "How could you reveal that to everybody!!"

For the meanwhile, consider restricting your posts to impersonal matters, such as church history, practice, and doctrine.

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Posted by: Warrior71783 ( )
Date: December 02, 2019 10:40AM

IOW its better if no ex-mo becomes personal or real friends on here. Save the personal stuff for your real friends in real life or your counselor i think is what is meant.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: December 02, 2019 12:01PM

Didn’t we have a pair of siblings fighting on here once ? “Stormy” and ... ?

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