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Posted by: BeenThereDunnThatExMo ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 04:32PM

It's NEW for XMAS...should be in Deseret Book stores soon!!!

U got any other titles and Authors of Books that SHOULD be written by the Brethren???

Or so it seems to me...

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Posted by: normdeplume ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 07:40PM

A possible Hit by a poobah:

"The Holy Mormon Hoax is not Masonic"

By Dallin H. Hoax.

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Posted by: dumbmormons ( )
Date: November 30, 2019 07:59PM

LIVE THE LIE, UNTIL YOU DIE

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 08:48AM

Sheri Dew and Wendy Nelson give makeup tips for dynamic Latter-day Saint women.

Quote from book: "After mixing and applying to your face, you bake it with your hair-dryer set on high until it feels like a hard enamel finish. Sheri tested this by standing closely behind one of the jets on Rusty's plane as it was powering up. No retouching was needed then or for the next 7 days. Tip: Make sure you are smiling during the bake-in process with the hair dryer because once it hardens, that's your facial expression for the next 7 days."

=======

[Reprise] "Marvelous Jerk and a Blunder"....This book by Elder Rasband is one of a kind. It came about when he was visiting a friend who worked in a top secret law enforcement interrogation facility and, while touring the facility, accidentally ingested an experimental truth serum that someone had carelessly left out in a martini glass. While under the influence of the serum, Elder Rasband said he wanted to record his testimony of Joseph Smith. This book is the result of hours of hard work by transcribers who carefully transcribed every word of the Apostle's 'truth-serum testimony', believing it important to share this one-of-a-kind, heartfelt and honest testimony with the entire world.

Quote from book: "Jeez, man! I mean think of how much mileage that jerk got out of the simple gimmick of sticking a rock in his hat and pretending that he could read revelations in it coming directly from God. Talk about stealin' candy from babies! I'm talkin' 'bout money for nothing and chicks for free. That kind of groove. I was born 150 years too late. Sure, I've got an okay thing going on now. But, you know...."

++++++

[Reprise] "Standing in Something"....Memoirs of Dick Hinckley (son of the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley).

Quote from book: "My father always told me that the thing that guided all of his public pronouncements was the realization that he was always standing in something...something that smelled perhaps like a diaper pail that had not been cleaned out for a week, and he said that if you don't always remind yourself that you are standing in something, you may fall face-first into that same substance...and that's not pleasant."

========

"Would I Try to Sell a Lemon to You?" .... Elder Ballard, former Edsel salesman, talks plainly to Latter-day Saints about the nuts and bolts of gaining and keeping a testimony.

Quote from book: "So every time you feel like you're working hard, obeying the leaders of the Church and paying your tithing, but you still find yourself disappointed that you aren't getting anywhere spiritually. My advice is don't blame the Church. Look in the mirror and see what it is about you that is causing you to fail. If you buy a car from a wonderful car dealer and it seems like the transmission falls off or the clutch burns out every time you try to go up a hill, maybe it's not the car's fault. Maybe you just need to lose weight. As my dad always taught me, it's never the vehicle's fault. It's the stupid customer's fault."

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Posted by: SEcular Priest ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 10:32AM

With Bendy Wendy and The Dew behind him, yes he has to write books. Sheri sees a bottom line for her pay check by increased book sells. Wendy sees a chance to make money on books that she or a ghost writer writes.Its all about money and making yourself look and feel good. If Rusty truly was interested in what he was saying he would provide these books to members free of charge. After all he is God's prophet to the world and his words are direct from God. Surely he would want to people of the world to know this valuable information. Surely he knows the saints do not have extra money to buy books. Of wait he is the CEO. That makes a difference. Primary calling CEO, secondary calling prophet.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 10:34AM

"Anger Management" by Jeffrey R. Holland

Quote from book: "If you paddycakes just do what I and the other brethren tell you and don't ask questions, then I won't have any need to get angry!"

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: December 01, 2019 01:37PM

By any apostle (they are all interchangeable).
Describes the true doctrine of mormonism.

The entire text:

Pray.

Pay.

Obey.

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