Date: November 30, 2019 04:40PM
After reading a bunch of stuff on the Recovery Board, I was reminded of someone I used to go to church with. I've been out for a few years and recall one evening when I was living alone and still not 100% out of the church (now live with semi-active mom, but she's cool and am out of the church) when all of a sudden, the missionaries and a dude I used to go to church with popped in on me. They were obviously trying to get me to go back to church, so they sent the super intelligent mathematician that worked at the local college. I guess they thought I could bond with or him possibly not be able to out argue (Socratic style, not by yelling) him.
In any event, it was probably around 5-5:30 pm, so I was eating dinner. They showed up at my studio apartment and tried say that I told the bishop I wanted to take the missionary discussions. I told them that I told the bishop I would have to think about it. I guess that means yes to a Mormon bishop.
In any event, they eventually decided to just bear their testimonies. I was already annoyed that they interrupted my quiet dinner at home, so I let the old dude bear his to me. I more or less told him that his reasoning for believing in the church was flawed. It involved his kids, so that was probably a mistake. I basically told him that he assigned a miracle to god after he had made a bad career move. His problem was easy enough to solve, he just needed to see a different doctor, anyone could tell that.
So of course he god pissed. I was probably supposed to be intimidated by an older dude and his posse, or just go along and say yes to everything. They didn't really know what to do when I said no. So after he was visibly upset (REALLY FREAKING PISSED OFF) he insisted that the church was real because his life worked out, and that meant that god wanted him to make a bad career move so he could raise a family and be nearly dirt poor doing it. Heck, he moved to the worst place with the lowest paying job on his list of offers, and even passed up one in New York. Where is he now? Dumpy ol' Oshkosh Wisconsin.
So I'm just wondering, anyone else have a similar experience? I'm sure I'm not unique.
Date: November 30, 2019 10:27PM
I think a lot of us have had similar experiences, of varying intensities of bluntness/frankness. The "rules" depend a lot on context and (here) ENVIRONMENT.
They came to your place unannounced and uninvited, I'd say you don't owe them any politeness or hospitality. As uninvited guests (whatever their motivation) they at least owe YOU the politeness of not impinging even more on you by switching into missionary mode.
In regards to your story, I think if I was feeling in a prankish mood that evening I might've invited them in to share some dinner with me or whatever, and give them an earful of my own testimony or experiences.
In some encounters I've just asked the mishies outright, "if you just want to talk normal and have a normal person conversation about this thing, fine, but let's try to talk like normal people please?"
"He insisted that the church was real because his life worked out, and that meant that god wanted him to make a bad career move so he could raise a family and be nearly dirt poor doing it."
In reply, "Hey great, guy, you know, we all need to tell stories to ourselves to make our lives seem meaningful in retrospect, with the help of conscious or unconscious cherry-picking and selective memory! I'm glad that your story works for you."
Date: December 01, 2019 12:05PM
You're not obligated to let anyone in your domaine; it took me forever to realize that fact. When we had just found out the truth about TSCC, we had an interesting event happen with the missionaries.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and my husband, myself, and our son were having lunch and talking about some of the things we had found out about the church.
My husband said that he wished he could have just 5 minutes talking with the missionaries and nicely tell them some facts.
With no exaggeration, not more than 10 or 15 seconds later, while eating our lunch, our son who was looking out towards the street, said:"wait a minute! Who's that coming over towards our house?!"
It was the missionaries! They had parked across the street and walked across directly to our house.
We answered the door, invited them in, and invited them to join us for lunch. While we were eating, they listened to us as we told them that they were good people who didn't need an organization telling them to lengthen their stride or raise the bar. We asked them how well they thought they knew JS, and informed them of a few things about them.
The junior companion was quiet and looked confused; his wheels were turning in his mind. The senior comp didn't argue, but tried to vaguely explain JS. Our conversation ended friendly and hopefully, got them to do some thinking. We never saw them again; hmmm...wonder why? :)