Have you heard about this commercial? It's been in the news as the subject of some controversy in the last few days. And it's *definitely* ex-mo related:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pShKu2icEYw

The song playing in the background (She's So High) is from ex-Mormon Tal Bachman, son of Randy Bachman from Bachman Turner Overdrive. Tal was a frequent poster here many years ago.

who wants her to be perfect.

Tal who?

This one? https://youtu.be/bwWsWPwAuiA

This is the Tal you're looking for:

https://youtu.be/_ElORM9O-0U

And he is the son of "Takin' Care of Business" Randy Bachman of BTO:


https://youtu.be/NCIUf8eYPqA

When you said "Tal who?", I thought you were referring to the Tal that was being referred to in the thread.

Never mind me.

Thank you for getting this! (I was starting to think there was no one left on rfm who remembered "our" Tal.)

From whence springs the mentioned controversy?

Comments on the video took on a life of their own. Something about the guy thinking his wife was fat, so he bought her exercise equipment. Callout culture gone bad.

The way it really works is that the husband buys some expensive item HE wants and justifies it by making it a present for his wife. It also works the other way, ladies.

She's no longer wearing a wedding ring, and I think the hubbs is at the bottom of the ocean anchored by a Peleton.

^An amalgamation of comments I stole from Twitter.

Seriously, though. At the beginning of the commercial, she might weigh 115#. Husband says, "Here! Got you a Peleton so you can lose those final few baby pounds!"

Captive wife is like, "Shit. I'd better document my daily efforts before he sends me to Fat Camp, or leaves me for another woman..."

~~~~ a year passes ~~~~

Captive Wife: Look at the hostage tape I made for you!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2019 10:14PM by Beth.

>> "Seriously, though. At the beginning of the commercial, she might weigh 115#. Husband says, "Here! Got you a Peleton so you can lose those final few baby pounds!"

Captive wife is like, "Shit. I'd better document my daily efforts before he sends me to Fat Camp, or leaves me for another woman..."

~~~~ a year passes ~~~~

Captive Wife: Look at the hostage tape I made for you!"


Or...."Here, I got you a Peleton so you can work out at home and not have to go to the gym."

Happy wife is like, "Cool, that will save me a lot of time and I won't have to pay for the membership"

~~~ a year passes ~~~

Happy wife: This has been a great way to stay in shape and be able to do my work out at home!.

People see what they want to see and the culture of outrage is so the "in" thing now. Jeez.

Roy, the question is why did the ad rub people the wrong way? That's an interesting question, isn't it? I bet Peleton thinks it's important.

Why? Because they are trying to convey a message and failed dismally in their attempt to do so: in short, the ad is not good for business. I think people in this thread and elsewhere can explain where the mistake lay.

Reality? No. But the advertisement surely cast light on something that a lot of people feel is real.

I look at it this way...many TV commercials (and sit-coms) portray the man/ husband as an idiot......One I see a lot lately.....the man is out frantically shopping for Christmas and comes home empty handed and stressed out. The wife sits on the couch with her phone feeling superior because she did her shopping from the couch.....and she looks at the man like he's an idiot, and he sinks into the couch looking like one.

It is what it is and it really isn't much at all. Nothing to get worked up about at least.

I agree with you that stereotypes and mischaracterizations occur regarding both genders. That does not, however, render this particular ad uninteresting. People can glean insights from images and perceptions regarding the status of women from one case and then turn around and reach different conclusions from imagery about men.

To give an example, there are men on this site who write all sorts of bad things about women and complain incessantly about what they see as mistreatment of men. In some cases--the way men are treated in divorces, child custody decisions, etc--I agree with them. That agreement gets lost in the broader debate about whether women are the root of all evil in the world, and men the Randian victims of an unjust society, which is self-indulgent nonsense. The key is to look at specific issues rather than seeing everything in a cosmic struggle between good and evil.

So I'd prefer that we just look at this instance and see what it says. Then we can turn our attention to prejudices against men (cue Beth below) and other groups when illuminating opportunities arise in those areas.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2019 07:19PM by Lot's Wife.

if the genders had been reversed in the ad.

BS toxic masculinity.

1. You must be a "good provider"
2. You must play team sports as a kid or you will never learn to be a team player
3. You must not show emotion unless you're pissed.
4. You must watch some professional sport and follow some professional team
5. You must bench press (hell, I don't know - a lot?)

Talk about the ad, not what if the roles had been reversed because the roles are what they are in this ad.

Trying to decipher what the principle is behind the outrage.

If it had started with the wife patting the hubby's tummy saying that it looked like he had enjoyed the holidays a bit too much and then presented him with the exercise bike, would it have caused a stir? I'm genuinely curious. Based on what I've observed over the years, I doubt it. But who knows? Everything causes a stir these days.

You're saying "what if..." instead of looking at what is

It's up to the viewer to interpret and react.

One person can see some lady being very excited about getting a nice piece of very useful fitness equipment and demonstrating great enthusiasm for getting maximum benefit from it.

Another can see some lady suffering from internalized oppression, accepting a humiliating "gift" from an abusive(?) husband who seeks to undermine her self-esteem by giving her a gift intended to serve as a constant reminder of her physical shortcomings.

There's more to "seeing what is" than seeing what one wants to see.

Imagine if it was an ad about diet pills!

"Merry Christmas, Tubby!"

Oh, darn! Now I have to come up with some other present for you.

Obviously, it would be stupid to make accusations, file criminal complaints or deliver guilty verdicts based on "what if" hypotheticals.

But "what if" analysis is an excellent tool for evaluating things like consistency in application of rules, the existence/non-existence of principled positions, degrees of subjectivity/objectivity, bias, examining validity of distinctions, etc.

Scientific studies often rely on a range of controls (essentially implementation of various "what if" scenarios comprising different combinations of common denominators and variables) in order to determine the validity of proposed theories about observed phenomena. "What if we take another cohort of 3 otherwise healthy adults suffering from migraines and give them sugar-coated pills containing no active ingredients, while telling them that it is a promising treatment for migraines. They won't know that it's not the same product that we gave the other groups."

Wow..finally saw that commercial. I don't understand what the fuss is all about..

She seems to like the gift and seems to enjoy it..

What gives

...people looking for their version of a perfect world?

Exactly.

I'm just now reading this thread. My impression before reading it was that the obvious answer to the question is that's how a Mormon woman (or man) looks when trying to live up to unrealistic standards.

That slightly forced smile combined with the anxious eyes, the frenetic and almost caffeinated exercise, the effort always to be just a bit better. I could easily see her popping anti-depressants as well as biking maniacally.

Wow...people have read a LOT into that ad. I saw anxiousness on HER part because she was starting an exercise regime...which a LOT of people feel, nen and women.

I didn't get the impression that she was trying to please her husband. I thought she was trying to please herself.

Getting healthy for yourself isn't bad..

I don't disagree with this.

The anxious facial expression up front didn't bother me. What did seem strange was the fact that she was every bit as anxious after a year of training as when she started. What I mean is that there are unhealthy as well as healthy reasons to increase one's exercise load, including a deep discomfort with oneself and a pathological need to improve. There are specialists on eating disorders, for instance, who now think that for many people "compulsive exercise addition" is part of the disease. So when I see someone who has a compulsion to exercise that does not over time produce positive emotional gains, I wonder what is driving the quest for physical "health."

The OP asked if we could draw parallels to Mormonism. That--a pervasive anxiety as one strives for that which is not attainable, or is sought through the wrong means--is what I tried to offer.



ETA: I looked up "anorexia athletica," which is extreme and health-destructive exercise that often replaces or coincides with conventional eating disorders. Here is a list of the factors that contribute to the illness:

1. Past trauma or abuse
2. Poor self-esteem
3. Poor family relationships
4. Bullying
5. Borderline personality disorder
6. NSSI (non-suicidal self-injury disorder)
7. Substance abuse
8. Perfectionistic personalities
9. Problems in communicating negative emotions
10.Difficulty in resolving conflict
11.Genetics

I submit that this fits Mormonism fairly well. Mormonism definitely entails poor self-esteem, poor family relationships, perfectionistic personalities, problems in communicating negative emotions, and difficulty resolving conflict. In some instances Mormonism would also bring past trauma or abuse and bullying. So Mormon culture meets 5-7 of the 11 traits.

I think that fact is consonant with the image of an anxiety-driven person who exercises with great intensity and for a long time but remains deeply dissatisfied with the results. I am comfortable stating that Mormonism is for many a psychological malady.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2019 11:38AM by Lot's Wife.

>> What did seem strange was the fact that she was every bit as anxious after a year of training as when she started.

That's called acting...happens a lot on TV. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. But drawing real world conclusions from it? That's a stretch IMO.

Absolutely true.

But there are three questions here. First, did the advertisers present an image (of reality) that people find attractive? The answer is clearly "no."

What was it about the portrayal of reality that people found unsettling? That is clear from both the public reactions and the following Aviation Gin commercial. in the latter, the woman is happier, more independent, and no longer wedded to her husband in the Peloton clip. So it is the image of a woman and her relationship with her husband that is perceived as unhealthy, with the bicycle signifying the underlying problems.

Third, does the problematic clip relate to Mormonism in any way? That was an invitation to surmise, and I think one can reasonably proffer some hypothetical connections.

None of it is reality, as you note. But the questions are all about the perception of reality which, in advertising as in politics, matters.

I must not watch enough TV.

I didn't see the ad until it appeared here.

Not a bad thing!

The "Feelings Police" have surveilled you and you are guilty of not seeing things the same way they do and you are going to Social Media Jail for Life!

If you’re a Mormon, you’re pedaling in front of a screen displaying a road with nice scenery, indoors while going nowhere.

If you’re ex-Mormon, you’re pedaling a real bike down a real road. The real experience costs less than the fake one.

"If you’re ex-Mormon, you’re pedaling a real bike down a real road. The real experience costs less than the fake one."

That I agree with, but if you live in 4-season territory and you REALLY like riding a bike, then this is the next big thing for some people

I showed my wife this. She said that it was terrible and sent a horrific message to women.

I can.

The music sings of a woman being "high above" a man. The story shows a man not putting his wife on a pedestal but a piece of exercise equipment.

So you can hear the ExMormon Tal singing but it is lost in the message of a man bringing a woman around to embracing his way of thinking (gift.) And that is a Mormon approved message.

Sad.

I don't know what Tal thinks about the use of his song. My guess is he has no problem whatsoever with it.

Sad.

The song is the problem and reveals the true message of the advertisement. It portrays a man that lusts after and expects a woman to be naturally physically perfect, as well as the embodiment of women/goddesses that all men lust after - Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, and Aphrodite.

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, taste, and sound

An impossible standard for women to achieve let alone maintain. A very immature male view of women... and often an enduring Mormon male view of women.

I don't see it but maybe Tal could explain.

City with highest # breast implants: Salt Lake City

State highest consumer of online porn: Utah

"No tucks or silicone" in porn?

Do men really distinguish if a woman has tucks or silicone? Isn't that the same level of dillusion as believing a blonde woman is naturally blonde?

Unfortunately, women fall into the "ideal beauty" trap of what men want.

I doubt that Tal Bachman can tell if a woman has had "work" done or not. Or if a woman is naturally blinded or not.

correction: naturally blonde or not.

>> "I don't know what Tal thinks about the use of his song. My guess is he has no problem whatsoever with it."

If he still owns the rights, my guess is he licensed it and is compensated for its use, therefore, he has no problem whatsoever with it.

For money. You can sell your soul and regret it.

I'll sell my songs for money. Music is a business.

And poetry is an art that doesn't care about the highest bidder. Cash in or not on what your creativity creates. Use yourself as you see fit to survive and thrive. Only when you art needs an audience do you require your own art to survive. Sad.

I can bet what Tal thinks about the use of his song..."cha-ching". You think he didnt sign off on it?

Have we come full circle right back to "No dear. That dress does not make you look fat." ?

All I know is there should be more discussion and less cancelling.

I was reading an article wherein the author said that Werner Herzog "put people in positions that might feel awkward at first, but it's amazing how much they want to talk and not use their usual script" when they are thrown off balance.

I am in favor of getting away from the usual scripts. Enough automatic reactions already. Turn it on it's side. Look at it backwards in a mirror. Turn the lights low enough there is no need to squint.

Is this a bicycle that's similar to a mormon hamster wheel?

You jump on, go a hundred miles per hour and you haven't gone anywhere.

-Hey, we're out of milk. Can you get some?

-Sure, let me jump on my Peloton and bike down to the corner store.

Good one, Messygoop! LOL!

Almost nothing.

Read this article and you will understand:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201912/does-your-partner-patronize-you

Righteous a Indignation taps the Mesolimbic dopamine pathway, lights up the nucleus accumbens. Ahhhhhh . . .

Nothing is more addictive so -- sources of outrage will be found, or if none are convenient, manufactured

Positive spin on an abusive relationship might be funny in a comedy but to sell stuff it is beyond offensive.

Being abused and literally feeling like I was peddling for nothing to nowhere for abusers to make them happy makes me sick seeing in a commercial to sell a luxury item.

Why not just bring back slavery?

My first thought was she had asked for a treadmill and he bought her the nicest one on the market.

Tal has made a fortune on that song. Good for him, he will get royalties every time it is played.