Posted by:
Brother Of Jerry
(
)
Date: December 10, 2019 06:20PM
Several posters, especially when Ed first came out as gay, wondered how he could do this terrible thing to his wife. It wasn't entirely clear to me what "this" was. Was it getting divorced? Was it coming out as gay?
What was he supposed to do, exactly. This is a total no-win situation. People here are pushed into an almost identical situation when they come to the realization that they don't believe in Mormonism. Do they leave and live an authentic life, or stay and fake it, because their families would be crushed to know they didn't believe? There are variations on that theme that we see here all the time. There are no good, which is to say pain-free options.
Most, but by no means all here have chosen to leave Mormonism. Ed Smart has chosen to end his marriage. I actually have seen nothing that indicates that Lois either agrees or disagrees that that is the best course of action. Again, there is no pain-free answer.
Frank Bruni is a conservative, practicing Catholic, leaning toward pro-life columnist at the NYTimes. He has a rare genetic condition which suddenly blinded him in one eye a few years ago, and there is a 50-50 chance he might suddenly lose the sight in the other eye. This is a very big deal when you read and write for a living. He also adopted a dog about the same time, and is engaged in a number of experimental treatments for his condition, since it is quite rare and very little is known about it. He writes regularly about his dog and his medical condition.
Right after the recent shooting in El Paso, he wrote about hate, and some of the hate mail he receives. He quotes a couple emails that are very anti-gay (he is gay), and they come from people who almost certainly have college degrees, live in NYC, and of course are NYTimes readers. He and I both found it hard to believe that that level of bigotry would exist in that particular demographic, but he gets it on a regular basis.
I'll quote part of his column, but before I do that, I'll tie his column to Ed Smart. I'd bet you dollars to donuts that Ed Smart, since he came out as gay, has received more than a few letters and emails declaring in no uncertain terms that his daughter was kidnapped and raped because he was gay and is an evil person.
You have to know he has heard that. I can hardly conceive of anything more pointlessly and pointedly cruel. I think that was what Frank Bruni was dealing with after the El Paso shootings. Why are people cruel just to be cruel? What is up with that? Bruni sounded discouraged.
From his column:
Some of the country’s most knowledgeable physicians can’t tell me with any certitude why I ended up losing sight in my right eye and am in danger of going blind, but one of my column’s readers figured it out. It’s because I’m gay.
“You have openly discussed your homosexuality,” he emailed me two weeks ago, and, perhaps to his credit, he attached his name, which enabled me to determine that he’s not a fundamentalist preacher from a deep-red state but an engineer living in the New York City suburbs. “That is why God could not help you. You were living in flagrant violation of his Law.”
That email was especially mean but otherwise routine. Just a week earlier, a woman who teaches at a college in Manhattan wrote: “Is it really true that you are a homosexual? I hope not. Columns written by homosexuals inevitably have their own homosexual agenda and viewpoints and cannot be read with the belief that they are impartial. I do hope that the rumors about you are not true.”
Rumors? They’re facts, though she has obviously encountered them in corners of the internet where being gay is regarded as a prompt for secrecy and a source of shame. There are many such corners, and they have plenty of denizens.
In movies, songs and greeting cards, I’m always hearing or seeing that love is forever and that it conquers all. Well, hate may be even more durable, and it has the muscle to fight love to a draw.
My inbox is proof of that; the evidence stretches back decades. And I’m talking in this case not about irate and sometimes foul-mouthed readers who dislike my opinions. All columnists encounter that, and given the privilege of our megaphones, we should. I’m talking about readers who detest the very fact of me, who I am, independent of any person or issue I lift up or tear down.
They’re strangers. They’ve never met me, never taken the measure of my generosity, kindness, loyalty or lack thereof. For them I exist in a category, as a type. That type is all they see, and that type is contemptible.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/10/2019 06:21PM by Brother Of Jerry.