What makes you think they are in their office each day? Or, even once a week?
They sneak in and out via underground tunnels. Their receptionists and "handlers" (That title is hilarious!) always say they are "unavailable" and "can't be reached at this time." I really have a feeling that they aren't there at all. They are just figureheads; they're front-men for the business execs, ad-men, and financial moguls who are running the corporation--and for Wendy, of course.
My GA relative grew old, and was sic a lot. Higher up, he had even less say in church decisions, than when he was a younger whiz-bang financial-genius attorney apostle. He did write his own speeches. He took his medications, had a leisurely breakfast, read the newspaper and stuff. On big afternoons, he would lunch at the exclusive Alta Club. On ordinary days, he would nap in the afternoons. He had bread and milk for dinner, and go to bed early. He did write his own speeches, and a few books, too. He did most of his work over the phone. Occasionally, he would tunnel into "the office" for a meeting.
The rest of the time he was at one of his 3 "cabins", or at his local "retreat" that few people knew about.
exminion Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Their receptionists and "handlers" (That title is > hilarious!) always say they are "unavailable" and > "can't be reached at this time."
I'm waiting for the "I was The First Presidency Fluffer" expose to be released.
play with action figures. They always go into Nelson's office to play. For a long time, nobody knew what they were doing. Oaks and Earring would always carry some kind of small bag into Nelson's office.
My source, a sneaky person, became very curious and planted a small camera in Nelson's office.
Turns out that Nelson has a Mae West action figure, Oaks has a Marilyn Monroe action figure and Earring has a Raquel Welch action figure.
They like to play like the girls are fighting with each other.
"I'm the hottest!"
"No, Mae, you're not the hottest! You're ugly! I, Raquel, am the hottest!"
"Shut up both of you! I, Marilyn would like to sing Happy Birthday to President Nelson!"
Then the guys make the dolls do motions like they're slapping each other and pulling each other's hair and stuff and then they have the dolls apologize to each other and start smooching. By that time each member of the First Presidency has loosened his necktie considerably and is using his handkerchief to dab away forehead sweat.
After they're finished and are leaving Nelson's office, Oaks and Earring go through a routine of loudly pretending that they're finishing up some important church business meeting.
"Okay, President Nelson, I will task my people to look into the temple beautification initiatives, as we just discussed," says Oaks loudly so that the secretaries and staff will all hear.
"And I will get right on that lesson manual enhancement project thingamabob, as we discussed," Earring says loudly, while awkwardly facing the wrong direction and his Raquel Welch action figure inadvertently drops out on to the floor in full view of everyone...
I heard they use tithing funds to hire actresses to play fight while they don directors caps for their individual actresses. Sheri Dew participates and her actress is new named Judy Garland dressed as Dorothy.
> 2. Communicate directly one-to-one with the > unwashed masses > And the corollary: Communicate directly one-to-one with Elohim, Jehovah, Jesus, God, the Lord, the Savior, the Heavenly Father, the Redeemer, the Messiah, the Christ, Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit, the Comforter...or any other characters named in the Book of Mormon, the Bible, The Book of Moses, The Book of Abraham, the Doctrine and Covenants, etc., etc., etc...