Posted by:
madeguy
(
)
Date: October 28, 2010 07:45PM
(First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve meeting minutes)
Monson: Brethren, You have been called here tonight that we may discuss a matter of the gravest
concern to me. Brethren, I have had a dream, a most disturbing dream. In this dream I saw, in glorious color, brother Glenn Beck piloting a speeding locomotive, leaning out of the window, a fey smile on his face, as he sped past me careening toward our holy temple. Now brethren, I know this is impossible, but in this very lucid dream I saw the temple shining in its supernal splendor, and brother Beck, who clearly was on a collision course with the temple, was not trying to stop the locomotive, but was pulling hard on the cord of the train whistle and he appeared intent on crashing into the temple.
(silence)
Hales: Well, it was just a nightmare President.
Monson: Yes it was. But I am impressed that attention should be paid to this nightmare. Whether it be
divine inspiration or my own intuition, it is ominous to me. I’m afraid this dream foretells a
situation of grave consequence.
Uchtdorf: President, what do you think it means?
Monson: We all know the zealous fervor of brother Beck. He is faithful, and loyal to us. I fear however
that, should he discover certain truths... well, I fear that his reaction may be, shall we say,
insurmountable.
Uchtdorf: He appears to be squarely on board. He has not really caused...
Packer: President, I share your concern. Be assured, brother Beck is being monitored. The committee
has compiled a dossier, and we will be alerted at the first sign of danger.
Oaks: Elder Nelson, has the committee found anything that can be used as leverage.
Nelson: I’ll certainly find out.
Oaks: Christian right-wingers don’t trust him. Their support is shallow. But if he ever dared to level
criticism at us, his popularity could swell.
Packer: If he gets a taste of that...
Oaks: He may not realize the potential. He could destabilize us. The usual damage control measures
would be futile in such a case.
Packer: The man has aspirations. As president Monson has stated, there are inconvenient facts
in our history that may upset him. He could use us a springboard.
Perry: But how big an influence is he? How many followers does he have?
Packer: He has millions. Most of them eat out his hand. He’s all over the bestseller list, and his TV
exposure is enormous. I daresay he may have as much influence on the members as we have.
Eyring: Now, brethren, I don’t think...
Oaks: Most of the faith destroying information we’ve tried so desperately to conceal is still widely
available notwithstanding our efforts. I wonder if brother Beck has been exposed to any of it.
Nelson: No, not to our knowledge.
Oaks: Though inevitably, he will be.
Packer: Elder Nelson, when did the committee discuss him last?
Nelson: A couple of months ago.
Packer: I’m concerned that someone may try to influence him, that perhaps some historical
detail will be revealed to brother Beck. Has anyone approached him?
Nelson: He is discussed on the RfM board. To our knowledge, brother Beck has not responded to these discussions.
Bednar: So, you monitor those sites thoroughly?
Nelson: Absolutely, one hundred percent.
Packer: What I’m asking you is, has he ever been approached by known apostates?
Nelson: Not to our knowledge President, no.
Oaks: Brethren, I’m not saying we should take action, but the committee must have a contingency plan.
(silence)
Packer: Is the committee prepared to handle all contingencies Elder Nelson?
Nelson: Uhh... well President, we mostly monitor, and inform...
Packer: Monitoring is not the issue Elder. President Monson has expressed a concern, which is now
our concern. Would President Monson limit our response in a matter such as this?
Monson: Brethren, we are duty bound to protect this thing of ours.
(silence)
Nelson: If I may, this contingency has been handled in the past as some of you know. However,
historically, our confidence in an undertaking of this nature has not been very high. The
methods used carried great risk.
Packer: Brethren, if I may. Our associations in eastern Europe have made additional methods known to
us. One such method is an aflatoxin derived from peanuts. It has been used by the KGB for years. Only one drop is required, and it’s undetectable. It is slow, but will not fail. In two weeks time we’ll have the desired result.
Oaks: If it is determined that it is necessary to proceed, how long before the derivative is administered?
Nelson: Brethren, now... you... we...
Packer: Two days at most. More likely within a few hours.
Nelson: You... you’re getting ahead of me here, President.
Perry: His health issues are a matter of public record.
Oaks: Correct.
Packer: Elder Nelson, not a word of this to the committee. And we’ll not speak of this again.
Nelson: No, of course not.
Monson: Brethren, let us adjourn. I would express my gratitude for your participation this evening. My
confidence is renewed daily that the kingdom shall roll forward and that we shall overcome
every obstacle in our path. President Uchdorf, would you kindly offer a prayer to close our
meeting?
Uchtdorf: Yes President, certainly.