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Posted by: Tyson Dunn (not logged in) ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 06:31PM

Yesterday, I got a text from my brother who lives with and takes care of my sick mother telling me that someone was going around and banging on all the doors of their house. He thought it was the missionaries, but as he was busy with my mother could I do something about it?

So I called one of the local members whom I've known for years asking for the mishies' number. I explained what was going on, and with what sounded like a weariness toward the missionaries, she obliged.

I called. "The missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Elder Aggressive and Elder Secondguy, Elder Aggressive speaking."

"This is Tyson Dunn. Are you currently going around knocking rhythmically on all the doors of my mother's house."

"Yes, we're here."

"On behalf of my very sick mother and my longsuffering brother, buzz off. You didn't make an appointment. You are not welcome."

"Oh, when my mother was equally sick, she needed help with housework, lawn care, gardening, making meals. Can we help out with something?"

"Elder, you didn't hear me. I am calling from three states and four hours' drive away. You are not welcome. Buzz off."

"But, if she needs help..."

"We have arranged for all of that. You are not welcome. LEAVE NOW. Do I make myself clear?"


Had the Elders not left, I was calling the police on them next.

I called the Ward Mission Leader thereafter (whose number I got from the other member) and chewed him out. He let me know that Elder Aggressive had literally arrived that day, and he hadn't even met him yet, but they were supposed to see them for dinner.

I told him, that's a shame, because as far as my mother and brother were concerned, Elder Aggressive had already worn out the missionaries' welcome, and the Ward Mission Leader could tell this pair, that they were never to come out again.

He understood and agreed to tell them.

Stupid missionaries. Knocking like idiots on the doors of my sick mother's house crosses a serious line. They had better not come back, or I will call the police on them for trespassing the next time.

Tyson (pseudonymously as always)

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 07:06PM

Kind of you to put a stop to it.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 07:31PM

You have to wonder what made them think that banging on doors was ever a good idea.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 07:36PM

Like your mother and brother couldn't hear them and they didn't answer. Isn't that a good enough answer?

I would bet they will be back.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 08:20PM

These teen "elders" are indoctrinated with the notion that their message is so special that it's ok to be pushy. They lack the maturity to realize that the rules of common courtesy still apply to them.
Either that or this kid just specializes in boorish behavior.

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Posted by: Phazer ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 09:00PM

Missionaries look so silly in their 1950s getup riding bikes. So dumb.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 11:27PM

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 12:43AM

I am glad you went right over their heads. It's the only way to make them stop. I am betting they show up again too.

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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 04:05AM

Good for you for taking care of that. Too many people would have ignored it and simply seethed.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn (not logged in) ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 12:14PM

When I served my mission, one of my companions was a complete ass. He would ring doorbells on apartment buildings, and yell into the intercom, "The door, lady, please!" as if he were a deliveryman with a heavy package, just to worm his way into the building. He'd bang on doors, leave illiterate messages on whiteboards, etc. He was intimidating in stature compared to the average local, and he knew it, and he'd use it to force Book of Mormons on people. It was always an embarrassment, but at the time, I could do nothing about it.

When I was a Ward Mission Leader after my mission, however, I had more than one occasion to set the local missionaries straight, including when the bishop had to tell them off at a ward council meeting. The bishop tried to explain to them that the upper leadership's "new" plan to cold call people was the stupidest damn thing he'd ever heard of. We were in the Philadelphia area, and at the time, Philadelphians had the statistically worst response to cold calling anywhere in the US. (Just look at our sports fans. :) ) The elder essentially called him a heretic, and the bishop told him to get the hell out of his house. I don't think that elder was around much after that.

When I was in Utah after my mission, a colleague and I had invited a non-member colleague to the open house of the Mount Timpanogos Temple. After a nicer older missionary asked us about our experience afterwards, a doltish ass of an elder decided he would chase us down asking the exact same damn questions. It took the shine off the senior missionary's inquiries and made us all look like asses. I called the Provo Mission afterwards and chewed out whatever random elder it was I got on the phone, who told me that mine wasn't the only complaint.

I can't go into all details, but I've sparred with mission presidents and actually gotten my brother reassigned back to his mission after his president decided he was too much of a problem and tried to send him home (long story). FWIW, he later had my brother and about a dozen other "problem" elders moved into the neighboring mission after finagling a boundary shift.

So these twerps are small potatoes, and at more than a decade and a half out of the LDS Church, I don't care if their feefees get hurt when the big bad ex-member calls their shenanigans out.

Tyson (grrr!)

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 01:12PM

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Posted by: schrodingerscat ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 09:57PM

How I handle these [missionaries].

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2020 11:34PM by Tevai.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 24, 2020 01:12PM

I had to call the sheriff after they locked their bicycles to my fence and took off!

And yes, I had problems with asshole companions and mission presidents who encouraged undignified behavior.

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