Good ol' mormon ghawd, the creator of the world and all that is in it, on it or over it, has declared that there shall only be one Church Handbook.

And given how accessible mormon ghawd has made himself, all may partake:


https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/new-general-handbook-coming-in-february-2020


It will be online so that anyone who doesn't like how his/her bishop or SP has ruled can read the handbook and come to his or her own interpretations and appeal the dumbass decision of the bishop or SP... Although I don't know that a 'path of appealing' is included in the handbook.

But not to worry, because ghawd has announced through his prophets, that as they are needed, changes, deletions, and additions will be made because no one can predict the future. ...Right? Right?

We are blessed to be living at a time when ghawd's word can be found on the internet, blessed be his domain name.

This is hilarious! It's digital, so that changes, deletions, and additions can be made as rapidly as Rusty's lighted pen blinks on and off.

"Its content will be updated regularly, giving it the requisite flexibility to help thousands of leaders around the world adapt the Church’s various programs, policies and procedures to their circumstances with loving, pastoral care."

The hyperbole and recruiting moments buried in these announcements make me cringe: "global faith" brrrrrrr.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/30/2020 06:46PM by forestpal.

"Pastoral care"

Hardly.

There will still probably be a super secret handbook for Bishops and above. You people never change.

If the new handbook doesn't list a special number for bishops to call regarding how to handle sexually charged situations, then you are totally a prophet for this dispensation.

If it does list a number for just such occasions, I'm gonna buy one of those famous Wal*mart burner phones so I can call frequently with my questions and concerns! Even better if they give a website where we can text in with such questions and concerns, because that's why Satan made VPNs so inexpensive.

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If the new handbook doesn't list a special number
> for bishops to call regarding how to handle
> sexually charged situations, then you are totally
> a prophet for this dispensation.
>
> If it does list a number for just such occasions,
> I'm gonna buy one of those famous Wal*mart burner
> phones so I can call frequently with my questions
> and concerns! Even better if they give a website
> where we can text in with such questions and
> concerns, because that's why Satan made VPNs so
> inexpensive.

Here's one to call-in.

I just caught my ward clerk boinking the stake-president's wife in my office. Is there a special hotline to call or does the stake president's special gift of discernment really work?

Dear Celestial Forum,

So I am just a normal pizza delivery guy and I was delivering some pizzas to a Relief Society leadership meeting at the stake center...

Instead of studying scriptures and following Jesus, members study church policy and follow Rusty.

I agree that their will be a "more detailed" one not available to Joe public that will tell how to hide the embarrassing poop.

Someone better immediately save it on their computer to compare the original with the secret changes.

Based on the Mormon church's history of manipulating information and lieing about it later, someone should set up a cvs repository and maybe even a github project, for this newly-released document. Once per day or once per week, volunteers could download this handbook from the church website and run a 'diff' (an easy way to compare two documents to get an easy list of differences between the two documents) on the text of both documents to see if there are any changes. Each change would prompt a new revision number to be assigned to the document, irrespective of what revision numbers are used by the church. So if the church assigns a revision number of 1.1 and later goes to revision 1.2, in the cvs repository there might be versions 1.1.1, 1.1.2, etc.. Along with each new revision number would be a list of documented changes. In cases where the church changed the meaning (church policy) of an existing section, those sections could be flagged as inconsistencies in the document and meta-tags could be applied or other methods used to make them easy to find in a search on the topic. A change report in blog format could be linked to assure that anyone who is/was adversely affected on the topic of the change could read about the conditions and implications that revolve around the otherwise undocumented change made by the church. The idea is that every change of official church policy found in the handbook over time would be thoroughly documented and made searchable. The search history would include information about likely why the change was made, with historical background information such as references to articles published and lawsuits filed.

If someone could have done this with the Book of Mormon and other critical church-owned books and documents over the past ten to fifty years, the church's shameful history as documented in the words of their own former prophets and apostles own words would leave the church caught, naked on a public stage.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/31/2020 04:17AM by azsteve.

archive.org / "The Wayback Machine" is what you're looking for

So they seem to want to rehash the text so it'll be really hard work for anyone to compare. Sh*t.

"Its content will be updated regularly..."

Translation: "When we discover a stupid policy that everybody is complaining about, we will fix it and claim that the change is part of ongoing revelation."

I bet some of them were worried, the GAs who still know how to think rationally. The rational ones wake up each morning wondering, "Is today the day the sheep see that the they've built their own corral?"

I don't know what the first thoughts of the irrational GAs might be... How does one think insanely when one doesn't have that 'gift'?

There is no one day on which that realization will occur. It's a gradual recognition, one that must have started decades ago for some of the GAs. I was with one lower-level GA 10 or 12 years ago when he said "We've got to get rid of the popes, we've got to get rid of the popes." He fully appreciated the direction in which history was moving.

My guess is that at least half of the Q15 fully understand the church's dilemma. But what are they rationally to do? Their whole lives, their careers, their social standing rest on the perpetuation of the fraud. And they have also convinced themselves (get thee hence, Satanic doubts) that the church is a force for good in the world. And who knows? Events may eventually turn in the church's direction.

In the meantime, the money keeps rolling in and the church controls a minimum of a couple hundred billion dollars in real estate, various investment funds, etc. So for the senior GAs, the sensible policy is to continue doing exactly what they have been and to leave the consequences for their successors.

If your life is based on irrationality, opting suddenly for the rational is irrational.

You don't think it's a decoy? to hide some other secret manual from the general membership?

Is it the new standard works in plain English?

+1 about hiding the other secret manuel.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/31/2020 10:08PM by azsteve.

Does this mean my printed copies of the handbooks are now wortless, or are now worth more? (if I try to sell them - because trying to sell tokens and signs doesn't bring in even a quarter)

Hang on to those old handbooks, especially if you've got copies of the one directed at Bishops and Stake Presidents. Some day in the future you will be able to contrast new and old handbooks and ask, "which ones are moral and which ones are immoral"? They both can't be correct if there are conflicts between the two. Has human nature itself fundamentally changed or is the church a cult?

azsteve Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hang on to those old handbooks, especially if
> you've got copies of the one directed at Bishops
> and Stake Presidents. Some day in the future you
> will be able to contrast new and old handbooks and
> ask, "which ones are moral and which ones are
> immoral"? They both can't be correct if there are
> conflicts between the two. Has human nature itself
> fundamentally changed or is the church a cult?


Would much rather sell them. Something from L-d$,inc has to be worth a few dollars.