"That's not what I meant, and you know it."
"Deep down in your heart, you know it's true."
"Did it kill you? No? Then you're okay."
"I don't know what I did to offend you."
"Why do you have to be so sensitive?"
"You take yourself too seriously."
"No, I don't drink coffee. I have standards."

In the South, all they say, that encompasses all you wrote, is "Bless your heart".

Ha ha ha!

Two comments:

I've been told by die-heart southerners that you can say anything to anyone if you preface it with "Bless his heart...."
Bless his heart but he's the dumbest SOB on the planet.


Second all the "Passive Aggressive Mormonisms" are just rehashed Jewish mothers statements. Probably all mothers have used them on their kids when they were growing up. I know my mother did.

"I've been told by die-heart southerners that you can say anything to anyone if you preface it with "Bless his heart...."
Bless his heart but he's the dumbest SOB on the planet."

That's pretty accurate. I lived in the Deep South for a decade. "Bless your heart" can cover a lot. Example;

A sorority from Ole Miss was having a 10 year reunion. 3 women found themselves on the same flight headed to Oxford, MS for the reunion. They switched seats with other passengers so they could all sit together. They were chatting and catching up, turns out they were all recently married. The first gal tells them, "We had a huge, gorgeous wedding. And for a wedding gift, my husband bought me a brand new Mercedes convertible." The 2nd woman said "How magnificent". The 3rd woman said "Well bless your heart". The 2nd gal said that she too had a huge, beautiful wedding, and that for a wedding gift, her husband bought her a new beach house down in Gulf Shores, Alabama. The 1st woman said "Well, how marvelous", the 3rd gal said "Well, bless your heart". Then, the other two asked the 3rd about her wedding. She said, "We just had a small wedding with a few close friends and family" Awww, said the other two. Then one asked, "Well, what did your husband get you for a wedding gift?" She replied, "My husband got me finishing school lessons". Well, heavens, the other girl said, "Whatever for?". The 3rd gal said, "Well, I used to have a real dirty mouth. I used to say "Fuck You" a lot. Now, I just say "Well, bless your heart".

The funniest time someone used bless your heart.... I had told someone an old coworker of mine had passed away; she was young and died suddenly of a heart attack... I made fun of him for months after that.

What I detest is, "Not to be critical, but...." I hope I'm not out of line in saying this, but..." "Not to hurt your feelings, but...."

If something is going to tear someone down, or cross the boundaries of privacy, or make someone feel bad, then why say it, at all? Do these idiots think they are negating what they are about to say; therefore, they can say it with impunity? Or, do they think others are just fools who will take the bullet to the head and think that the person didn't mean to hurt them?

Mormons get away with snarky remarks, if they say it with a smile.

I especially cringe, when Mormons become angry, or can't give me a straight answer when cornered, so instead of clarifying things, or changing the subject, they flash that fake smile and say,

"Have a nice day."

This reminds me of when people say “I’m not racist, but...” You know that something racist is about to come out of their mouth.

a lady in the ward came by on my birthday and told me she had planned to take me to lunch, but had something else to do that day.

I told her my separated husband took me to Maddox (a well known restaurant in Northern Utah by Brigham City) for lunch. She was a bit shocked. People are always shocked that my "husband" and I do things together and get along.

But I was like, "Why did you even come over?"

She was a R.S. president during part of the time I taught the lesson and she often reprimanded me for what I said in my lessons. I never liked her after that. She persisted in doing things to act like she was my friend for years like stopping if she saw me out walking to talk or sending me valentines. I realized the other day it has been quite a while since she did this. I'm relieved.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2020 09:56AM by cl2.

And my All-Time Favorite...

"Just wait...you'll see...what are you going to say then?"

Or so it seems to me...


>BTW DB...hope all's well with You!

funeral. I wonder who knew and who really didn't know.

I love that your list Don. It's like it should be in a primer for the newly baptized so than can get up to speed quickly.


I hear forestpal's a lot too. The disclaimers.

"I don't mean to be judgmental, but . . . "

Passive Aggressive Mormons? Can this title be any more redundant?

My fav is "With all due respect".

After which none is given.