From one of the most prolific posters to nothing. What happened.

It happened after I had decided to quit RfM because of her, and a couple of days later Saucie told me that CZ had put her on time out!!!

So I'm curious, too!


Actually, I reviewed the two day's output that I'd missed and was fascinated by what had gone down!

It was pfugging amazing!!

I asked her to take a temporary time out, and she decided to leave permanently. Yes, there are more details, but those are the only important ones. It’s unlikely that she’ll be back.

CZ (admin)

You--or one of the other mods-- deleted a post. Without bringing up certain problem details in it, I think it's worth summarizing: she felt bullied.

And I think: rightly so.

Me too and why was my
post saying basically the same thing deleted? I will try again and say that I thought this was a bad call. Instead of dealing with the bullies, CZ or one of the mods put the whole onus on Amyjo. She may have been partly at fault, but she was being harassed and mocked by several posters.For the record, I often didn't agree with her, but she was being bullied and I found the whole incident unfair. So did a few others as I recall.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2020 01:32PM by bona dea.

I still wanna hook up with Its'a... (cant remember spelling, ha ha)

<rebuttal>

<more rebuttal and observations>

<incredulity!>


Caffiend, on two occasions you politely offered, in very gentlemanly fashion, to meet up with her. Both times she completely ignored you.

Now that you mention it, I do remember, and yes, it was twice, I believe. I did not take offence for a few reasons.

For starters, I'm an Asperger type of guy, all too oblivious all too often of other people's signals -- as Lot's Wife will readily confirm. (I do owe her a very over-due apology.) So I have a very thick skin (and head) (which Lot's Wife will again, readily confirm.)

Also, there were other issues going in those threads, and it's easy to overlook something secondary if you're focusing on an important point.

My overture to AmyJo was casual and tentative. I need to do research at the (un)holy places in Palmyra someday, as she lives somewhere in that area. But there's no urgency. I was simply thinking, if she wanted to meet up, I'd schedule my Hajj sooner, rather than later. Complicating things is that my wife doesn't care for this type of excursion. So there were several reasons I did not press the issue.

Speaking of not following through, I did write you at ***(dot)gmail. Is that an address you don't check on much? (I have a couple myself.) I asked you about something, and remain hopeful you can accommodate me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2020 01:50AM by caffiend.

I should have responded more thoroughly sooner, but it's been a busy week. After I write this I'm going to close the thread because speculation without information leads to fights.

Amyjo may indeed have felt bullied, but there's no way for any of us to verify that, other than her claims. I do not believe that she was actually bullied here. Whatever her issues were, they were her own creations.

We don't allow personal attacks on the board, and I ask everyone to report those when they occur so that the mods can deal with them. One side effect of my request is that we get a lot of reports from people who are claiming that they've been attacked, when in reality all that's happened is another poster has attacked their arguments. There's an important difference.

Here are some examples of personal attacks that get immediately pulled:
* You're too dumb to understand.
* You're wrong because you're stupid.
* You still believe that? Why did you bother leaving the church?

Here some attacks on arguments that are perfectly legitimate:
* You don't understand xyz.
* You've misinterpreted blah blah blah.
* You're wrong because you're misapplying abc logical argument.

Posters are allowed to disagree, and we couldn't have real discussions here unless that were possible. What I do ask is that everybody be polite, and if at all possible, be kind to each other. I don't think that's too much to ask.

We have posters from many walks of life, as well as many stages of life. There is no way that everyone is going to agree on things. But I think we can get along.

Some posters may be zealous in answering posts to point out inconsistencies and logical flaws. I don't have a problem with that.

Some posters may not want others to comment on their posts unless the comments agree with or are complimentary of the original. That's a problem. We try to make some exceptions regarding very personal posts (people who have experienced losses or are otherwise having a difficult time), and will pull responses that aren't helpful to the poster. However, those are uncommon exceptions.

Some posters lie. I don't have a problem with someone bending the truth in order to maintain anonymity on the board, but I really dislike it when posters make stuff up in order to see how others react and to feed their egos. It can be difficult to spot a single lie, but liars tend to reveal themselves over time. Don't do it.

Some posters cause trouble because it amuses them to watch other people scramble. Don't do it.

Yes, we have some unusual rules here. Yes, those rules are sometimes applied inconsistently -- mostly due to the time limits of our all-volunteer moderating staff. Please be patient and give us the benefit of the doubt when you see an inconsistency. We try to do the right thing, but we are not omniscient.

Remember that RfM is not a democracy: it's a benevolent dictatorship. And I, the dictator, try to be very benevolent. We're all here because we were hurt, and many of us are trying to help others who have been harmed.

However, there are some people who have problems that are well beyond RfM's ability to help. It is sometimes better for those people to stay away than it is for them to be here, especially when their being here harms others and exacerbates their original problems.

CZ (admin)