I seem to hear this phrase a lot and it makes me a little angry inside when I do.

To me, when someone says they are blessed what they are really saying is "god likes me a little more than he likes you".

Another way to put it is "I have a better relationship with god than you because you are not as good as me".

...Something like that.

Does this phrase bother anyone else or am I just an as$#ole?

I also have a difficult time defining the word blessed.
Could it be used giving thanks for something that has been recieved?
I am blessed with good health! Does this mean that good health was given to me regardless of worthiness?

A lot of common cult phrases bother me. It does seem like an all out competition of who god likes the most by who has the most expensive things and who has the most righteous family in 'appearance'. Image is everything in that religion. There is no real substance underneath their false shell image they show to everyone.

The 'it will all be explained on the millenium' is probably my all time hated one because it means don't ask questions and shut your d@mn mouth.

It's a brag. An arrogant brag. AKA the humble brag draped with phony humility.

May be found often in F&T.

"I am soooo humbled that Heavenly Fathers has blessed me with so much (and you so little cuz he likes me better)."

I might have said it here recently. Sorry!

If I ever go to use that expression here I most often delete it and select a different way to make my point. I can see that for many at RfM it would evoke a grimace of distaste and I understand why.

I totally get that it can come across as an insult as in "I'm better than you". I'm not sure that people who say it mean it that way but perhaps some do. We should know, though, how our words may be received by others and adjust them accordingly.

When I say it I don't usually mean it in a religious way (unless I'm talking to my religious friends, lol).

If I say it I am intending it as a general term, as a shortcut way to say "wow, things went well for me" or "I'm so fortunate at how that turned out".

But I will try to expunge it from my vocabulary, especially here. I think it's important to respect those who will hear or read what you are saying and a good way to accomplish that is by knowing where they're coming from.

I don't like it either. Every other sentence in my TBM brother's Christmas brag letter say's how blessed they are.

To it it say's "we so righteous that god provides more for us than most other people, maybe even you. But if you join our cult, you can be blessed like us."

I've done well in life, far better than the average Joe, but I wasn't blessed with it....I worked for it. That's the difference, saying your blessed means it was given to you out of favoritism, which is obviously far better than having to work for it.

This one chafed me like raw leather. A woman with kids said it was wrong to subsidize education for the children of undocumented workers. She was reminded that her children were being subsidized in public school. Her response? "My children are blessed."

Last Ward I attended, the bishops wife was fond of testifying, "I am not worthy of all the blessings I receive." Which served as a not too subtle reminder that she was special because she was the bishops wife.

The expression that bugs me is "Have a Blessed Day!"

How does one do that?

If I don't have a blessed day, did I do something wrong? How do I know I had a blessed day? Did God bless me and I didn't notice? Did I have a crummy day because I forgot to bless myself?

How does one bless oneself so he has a blessed day? It is rather a strange choice of wording.

Now if someone said, "I wish for you a blessed day" or maybe "I pray for you to have a blessed day" it seems a bit more appropriate rather than a commandment that I must obey.

I did my first two laps of grad school at a Christian university. People would say that all the time, and it bothered me to no end. I went to a different school for the rest of my education partly because of those humble-brag annoyances.

I especially find it distasteful when they say, "Have a blessed day" as part of a business transaction, or worse, part of a robocall scam.

I think it is supposed to be code for a) letting people know they are trustworthy, or b) letting people know they are pals with Jesus.

It's right up there with they types who insist everyone says Merry Christmas.

I do think they are often well intentioned, but it comes off as not wanting to be all inclusive toward those who don't believe.

dagny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do think they are often well intentioned, but it
> comes off as not wanting to be all inclusive
> toward those who don't believe.

All too often there is complete obliviousness to the fact that not everybody is religious or welcomes religious sentiments. I think perhaps that some people feel if they are not intending to be offensive then there is no offence. Unfortunately.

I'm not really offended. I recognize it is well intentioned.

It just comes off as a little presumptuous or silly sometimes.

I find it interesting that "Have a blessed day" has become so popular in the last few years. Is it because Wiccans and some Pagans use the phrase "Blessed be" when greeting each other, and we've become more in the media in the last few years? And, more people are leaving traditional religions for these?

Just a thought.

One that bugs me is tender mercies. It sounds so contrived.

Count me as a ‘rubbed the wrong way’ person, too.

I ***HATE*** it when people say this.

Most of the time, it comes across as a humble-brag. As in, "I'm SO blessed to have a vacation in Rio!" I'm sorry, but the idea that "GOD" bestowed you with a frikkin' European vacation while letting Somalian kids get raped is preposterous. I don't care how "righteous" you are, that's a messed up concept.

It's like, deep down, the person knows they shouldn't be bragging about whatever it is that they're flaunting in someone else's face, but they really really want the attention so they justify if with, "I'm so blessed." Saying you're blessed doesn't make it any less of an outright brag. It just makes it sound even worse.

And for pete's sake, don't make it a hashtag.

I don’t like it because I have a bug up my ass.

Maybe you should have someone look into that.

Literally. LOL

Praydude.
Yes it does rub wrong.
Here's another way to phrase it:
"Thanking God for sparing you in a natural disaster is a bit like sending a thank you note to a serial killer for by-passing your house and butchering the family next door."
Betty Bowers (I think).

"My right hand is so blessed because my left hand was cut off."

DGee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Praydude.
> Yes it does rub wrong.
> Here's another way to phrase it:
> "Thanking God for sparing you in a natural
> disaster is a bit like sending a thank you note to
> a serial killer for by-passing your house and
> butchering the family next door."
> Betty Bowers (I think).


Yup. Scamvangelist Pat Robber-son once bragged that he was "especially blessed" when G*d prevented the hurricane from destroying his transmission towers in Virginia Beach VA. Bishop Spong pointed out in a book that Robber-son probably didn't care that those hurricane winds that turned away from his towers turned toward someone else's property and maybe even killed someone.

I also vomit when I hear or read that phrase.
I also had the word I Love you when it comes out of certain mouths. Some words are used way too much. Words like used too often start to lose meaning.

We had 3 tornadoes ravage part of our city a few weeks ago. The TV crews were out and about and the typical survivor stated, when interviewed, "God blessed us to be safe." Their neighbors must be damned I guess. It was one after another on TV. Only one survivor I observed did not thank god. He gave a very detailed description of experiencing the tornado and walked around pointing out damage. It bugged me a bit. I am glad however that the religious folks were not seriously hurt. The implication of feeling superior to others does not seem to cross their minds.

> Eric K said: The implication of feeling superior to others does not seem to cross their minds.

That's the issue I had seeing the same thing on the news - tornado after tornado.

It doesn't seem to occur to them how arrogant it sounds that God blessed them and not the guy next door, and they seem OK with it. For starters, why they would worship a god who operates like that is beyond me.

or wins a game on TV says that God blessed them with it.

But I really hate hearing that God blessed them while others died.

One of the most insincere statements I hear is
“God bless you brother”
It has become so common that even saying it is meaningless. If however, the person stating this really means it then that is a different thing altogether.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2020 06:29PM by kathleen.

You’re mistaken. I saw Mr. Peabody talking to Napoleon just before he hied to Elba.

The bumper sticker reads:

Jesus Loves You!
(but I’m his favourite)

HA!

Reminds me of someone doing their best Pollyanna so they can be praised. "I broke my fucking arm . . . but that means I have another good one that I can learn to write left-handed with."

Also, code for I'm a Christian, and God loves me more than you.

Anytime anyone says ANYTHING to show they are religious, nothing but red flags go up my flagpole.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2020 02:06PM by oxymormon.

wow. I do sometimes use that phrase but I've never viewed it like that.
When I use it I mean it as God's grace and mercy for such a worm as I.

It is also to remind myself that no matter how bad things may seem in my life that I still have something to be thankful/grateful for.(My mother often said,"No matter how bad you think you've got it, there is always somebody worse off than you.")

It helps me be humble.

Yes, money is tight.
Things arent right.
Health is wrecked.
Daily pain subject.


But I'm blessed to be alive.
I'm blessed to not be hungry.
I have use of my limbs.
I can feed, bathe and dress myself.


Yes, in spite of it all, I'm blessed.

So, if your own situation could be just a little bit worse, you consider your situation ‘blessed’?

By that standard, we’ve got one of those Oprah situations...
“You’re blessed! And you’re blessed, and you’re blessed, EVERYBODY’S blessed-except one poor schlep.”

So, being blessed is no big deal...

lisadee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> wow. I do sometimes use that phrase but I've never
> viewed it like that.

It's always useful to hear someone else's point of view. I notice these things because I am interested in language and communication - how can someone completely misunderstand another person's meaning, up to and including provoking war, by mere selection of one's words. I usually try to stop before getting to the war part!

I think it is especially important here on RfM, and on similar web sites focusing on other faiths, as the site is intended to be for those who have left their former faith, not for others to preach them back into it, or any other. For one thing, many have never believed in the religion they were born into - it was just an accident of birth and they left it when they could.

I try not to use language here that is religiously-derived, although it can be difficult if one is still affiliated with a certain faith. We can do it subconsciously or automatically as it is so familiar to us. I used to say "Thank God" a lot and have weaned myself off that phrase, even if at some point I wasn't meaning it literally as I had done previously. But it was certainly an ingrained expression for me and those can be difficult to expunge from one's vocabulary.

I'm not saying one should subsume one's beliefs for the sake of others - it's a free world is a sentiment that should apply equally to all sides. Others are free to choose their beliefs as am I. But it doesn't hurt to be conscious of how we use language and ensure we're appropriate with it. We wouldn't go into a church and "take the Lord's name in vain" as it would be exceptionally offensive to churchgoers. But so too would coming to a site like RfM and spouting scripture at people who not only have no interest in it but have been actively hurt by it.

Those are just some of the reasons that a heightened awareness of language is a kindness to readers and listeners, imho.


> When I use it I mean it as God's grace and mercy
> for such a worm as I.

I understand. Unfortunately for me, of all the creatures in the universe I absolutely cannot stand worms. I can't even stand the name. I cringe at the sight of one, especially in my driveway in the rain. I never get used to it. I never want to hear it or see it or visualize it, not even the word, never mind the actual creature. I couldn't stand it in the more fundamentalist-type congregations I have visited (such as Plymouth Brethren or the more fundy-type Mennonite Brethren churches). Why they have to quote those scriptures or sing that song. Yuck.

The instant I read your post the gospel song sprang back into my mind:

Verse 1:

"Alas, and did my Savior bleed?
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I?"


It's derived from the following scriptures, among others:

Psalm 22: 6 - But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people. (KJV) (This is Jesus speaking, referring to himself as a worm).

Isaiah 41: 14 - Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the Lord, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. (KJV) (This is Jesus speaking, referring to Jacob as a worm).

So, in the Bible, the term is used for both Jesus and humans.

Over and above my strong aversion to the very word and image, I could never wrap my head around the teaching. Not only am I not going to call myself a worm, due to the aversion factor, but I can't embrace the concept. I get that it's a metaphor (i.e. "guilt"). Even so, I have always tried my best to be a good person who contributes more than I take in all the venues in my life. I try to think of others first. I exert all my effort to perform well in every endeavour. Even in the face of God, so to speak, I say I am not a worm. As amazing, and silly, as it may sound, I think that one teaching alone accounts for 50% of the reason I could never settle 100% into any congregation in any denomination I have tried out. So, to them, my fault, I'm stubborn, not to mention disobedient and prideful. OK...


> It is also to remind myself that no matter how bad
> things may seem in my life that I still have
> something to be thankful/grateful for.(My mother
> often said,"No matter how bad you think you've got
> it, there is always somebody worse off than
> you.")
>
> It helps me be humble.

I appreciate (as in understand) this point of view. I agree with the sentiment. It's absolutely true. I can whine about not being able to go out to a cafe for a cup of tea with my sister due to the current crisis but somewhere in the neighbourhood someone is battling ill health or poverty or loneliness or loss.


> Yes, in spite of it all, I'm blessed.

I know that often the person using this phrase is not even saying it with a religious intent. It's just a way to say I appreciate what I have, I know things could be worse. It reflects how *we* are feeling, not meant at all to be a reflection on others. But that can be how it comes across.

Again, I appreciate hearing from others how language and concepts come across to them.

when ziller gets rubbed the right way he say he am "blessed" ~


just saying ~

I have tried wherever possible to us the word "fortunate" when it fits the narrative. But I quit equating the word blessing as having a religious connotation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2020 11:29PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

To me the question is actually why don't YOU feel blessed? It wouldn't rub you the wrong way if you felt it already. So why?

I don't start from the perspective of being a lowly worm or a sheep for God to jerk around inconsistently and unfairly.

Next, I feel fortunate, as Mr. Reprobate does above. "Blessed" is the wrong word. It implies divine selection instead of my view of "sh1t happens."

Mainly I could not live with myself thinking it is just fine for God to go around "blessing" some and killing others. I am not fine groveling to a god like that, let alone worshiping one. Frankly I have to wonder about people who think it is OK to accept "blessings" for themselves and make up reasons for it to be OK that God did not bless others fairly. They don't seem to feel any qualms about crediting God for blessings while not blaming God for the obvious cruelty and unfairness He demonstrates. Maybe they don't want to offend a god who they actually fear could turn on them next.

We all know of people worse off than us. We can't realistically fix the world so everyone has equal luck and opportunity. At least I'm not claiming it's OK because...God did it (and He loves you!).

If I felt "blessed" all the time, I would be "rubbed the wrong way" knowing other people and animals are suffering and I'm not. I could not go through life thinking I was God's special pet who got favors. It's wrong and arrogant. Instead, I can only explain I was lucky to be in the right time and place to be able to thrive. That's quite different than what the word "blessed" implies.

It bothers me too but I started responding to them “my sympathies “

Then I hang up or end the conversation. Besides how hypocritical to think you can bless yourself.

In the South we heard it constantly. But what rubs me the wrong way, being a grammarian by trade, is that people always say "blest," but it's supposed to be pronounced "bless-ëd." Piddly, I know, but if people are saying it all.the.damned.time, then they should at least say correctly.

Doesn't bother me.