Get over it adam. Well i would if there was no mothers day every year to remind me. What a dumb holiday mother's day and father's day is. They don't deserve a holiday once a year. Mine don't deserve it. How about we have a sons day or a daughters day once a year and i am not including a birthday. But actual holidays for sons and daughters that had to put up with garbage parents for most of there lives. Sorry, i'm sure i'll rant next mothers day also.

I totally get it. I always hated Mother’s Day. Not many of us understand that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2020 09:00PM by mav.

My mother totally sucked. OMG she sucked. Incredible.
But as she’s been dead these 17 years, I honestly didn’t even think of her today until I saw this post.
Usually when I do really think of her, I realize how lucky I was that she died when I was only 38.
That’s the best thing about time. It tends to heal a lot of wounds.

Time does heal. I did not think it would but it does.

By her own admission, my mother was not a "kid person." She didn't like me, and she didn't like having other kids around.

I was often forbidden to leave my fenced yard (though I often scaled it and went larking off to find other kids to play with, only to be dragged off by one arm while having my backside beaten with the other hand. But the playtimes were worth it. I decided for myself that if spankings were the price I had to pay if caught, I could deal with that.

According to common family lore, my first word was "NO!" not Ma-ma or Da-da.

The kindest thing my mother ever did for me was to die and leave me a sizeable estate. That sounds very harsh, but every syllable is true.

My mother was bothered by my presence and energy and always wanted me to play with friends to give her time away from me. Basically she was glad to send me off.

I am so sorry Adam. I guess I was lucky to have a wonderful mom growing up and as an adult. She is amazing. That woman gave me everything she had. She sacrificed for me over and over again throughout my life. She has always been there for me...my bedrock when times are tough. I am the man I am today because of my angel mother.

She convinced me when I was a child that I was capable of doing anything I put my mind to. To her I was the most handsome, talented, intelligent and capable boy around - at least that's how she made me feel.

She has been my friend, my mentor, my guide, and my counselor. At 90 years old - I talk to her often. The thing I love about my mom is her positivity. Laughs at the world..finds humor in everything. There is never a conversation where she doesn't laugh a bit. She doesn't even seem 90 to me. She's just mom, likes she has always been.

When I was a young boy, I suppose 3 or 4 (I don't remember much from that age, but for some reason I remember this). I found some Christmas lights in a drawer. I took my toy hammer and I smashed everyone of them. I remember thinking that I had made something great even though it was destructive. I ran to get my mom to show her this wonderful spectacle of art that I had created. Sensing my excitement, when she came she said, I'll never forget, "you made this for me...it beautiful..it's a collage of color. I love it. Thank you" and gave me a hug. Then she helped me clean it up. That's the kind of mom she was - always.

Mom's are awesome...generally Adam. My wife is an angel too. I told her yesterday evening, "you know honey, the best way I know to celebrate motherhood is to engage in that act that makes you a mom in the first place, right?" She didn't find that amusing...lol.

I do understand that most people had good moms and i get it but this holiday really sucks and rubs it in the face of the rest of us. All i remember about my mom is her smashing a plate over my head and talking down to me constantly. I still hear some of the things she said to me in my head.

Mama's Boy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My wife is an
> angel too. I told her yesterday evening, "you
> know honey, the best way I know to celebrate
> motherhood is to engage in that act that makes you
> a mom in the first place, right?" She didn't find
> that amusing...lol.

I told my wife the same thing. I'm spawn from a devil but I married an angel.

There are always times even with good mothers that we don't get along. My mother had a difficult life. I've posted about it before. She was born to 2 deaf parents and learned to sign before she learned to speak, and then she became their voice even with the younger children. Then she got married and still took care of her parents. She took care of them until they died and our grandmother died when I was 22.

My mother would take her dinner every evening and talk to her for an hour or 2.

My mother had a son who is mentally and physically disabled. She suffered a lot over this especially when he drank paint thinner and then got hit by a pickup while riding his bike and was in a coma for 2 weeks. Then her oldest son had a hemorrhagic stroke at age 42 and she took him in and my parents took care of him until he was able to live on his own. My mother was born an adult.

She is my hero.

If that witch ever shows up she will meet our dogs - big farm dogs that bite like hell. Then she will meet the sheriff - unless she somehow breaks in and then she will meet the County Coroner.

Some mothers are toxic, big time.

A few friends with mothers who are addicts of one sort or another, some whose parents died from overdose or alcoholism while abandoning them and more that were constructively abandoned as the mothers and fathers(both) left them much of the time to do all kinds of Church crap. Bishoprics, Stake Prez offices, Relief Society crap, temple matron/workers... nothing quite like being orphaned because of "families are forever" duties in callings.

I felt orphaned big time. All i remember most of the time was my father choosing religion and temple over me. We never played catch once. What father on planet earth puts church first to the point to where you never played catch once. I felt like an orphan for most of my life. I was orphaned and two adults were in the house but i was still orphaned. People don't believe me when i say no one raised me. It is absolutely true.

My mother was most concerned with her room and board. They say she liked her two youngest daughters. Who knows?

Well, some children suck too. There are two sides to every story. You skip Mother's Day and we sucky mothers will skip son's and daughter's day (the day we gave birth and vowed to fuck our children up). Too bad we can't be as perfect as our children. Some of us played the parent game with the cards we were dealt--for me it was believing I had to marry the first THING that came along that could take me to the holy house of handshakes and pop out children as soon as I could without putting one ounce of brain power into that decision. And yeah, I popped out sociopathic children who were carbon copies of their sociopathic father. And yeah, the whole experience made me insane and we're better off with our toxic relationships severed. If I had it to do again, they wouldn't have to worry about having a horrible mother, they wouldn't exist. But all these posts today on social media about how hard this day is for all the poor kids with sucky mothers need to realize it's hard for all the mothers with sucky children too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2020 12:59AM by NormaRae.

I'm sure its tough to smash plates over a kids head without any retaliation from the kid. My mother is lucky i didn't burn her house down.

As far as son's sucking and daughter's sucking with at least a holiday once a year for son's day and daughters day society would be FORCED to acknowledge even the bad children. So at least there would be some fairness to it all. Good parents would be FORCED to acknowledge their rotten children once a year no matter how hard they tried to avoid it. So they would be on some level equal to 2 of christs holidays that many adults ignore their children over and pay more homage too.

My mother in law was a mirthless bitch. Incapable of love. Glass half empty all the fucking time. After the old cow died my wife told me she didn't miss her mother.

I'm sorry, Adam. Some people should never have children. They are just not capable of caring for a helpless, living being. You have to have a license to drive a car, but any fool can have a child.

My parents were mentally ill the entire time. From day one.

I'm done talking about my mother. Mother's day is almost over. I took full responsibility without complaint for my parents actions for decades and i must move on. They are locked in a cult with no way out and that will suffice.

Like my vietnam friend said "there is no excuse for an adult to strike down a kid" "not ever". I kind of understand this now that i am older. Used to think violence was the normal thing. Why doesn't the neighbor smash a plate over his daughters head next door? Because maybe the parents are SANE.

Apparently i am still very mad about my mother smashing a plate over my head when i was about 13. She also broke a brush over my head now that i remember more as my mind is in a more safe place to actual remember blocked memories. Definitely a memory that is hard to overcome even with almost 4 years of counseling.

I took all the hits. From mother, father, scout leader and verbal hits from other family members. I took it all because jesus could not do it so adam had to take tge hits. They all knew i could take the hits and keep my mouth shut and i did take the hits. Why? Because there is no jesus or santa there is just me to take whatever they dish out. And i did. I took it all.

I'm the one in my family that has to take the blame for everyone.

That was my role but i got out of that dynamic. Not sure who has taken the place of the new whipping person or narc supply child but it will not be me and i do not care to find out. Any nieces and nephews that are easy targets and empaths for the narc adults and grandparents i am very sorry. You're uncle had to abandon ship to save his own life.

Someone asked me if my mother is still alive. I hope not. We buried her twenty-five years ago. Happiest day of my life.

I hope my mother's diabetes finally killed her this past year. Sorry if this offends but she deserved to be a POW in a japanese prison tortured for twenty years straight and brainwashed by the japanese to their beliefs all before she hit the age of 23.

And no, mormon indoctination and lifestyle did not torture her. She thought the religion was JUST DANDY and still lives the fantasy to this day with a teenage regressed mind with her teenage hubby(not my father)! I actually think i have surpassed my mother with an older teenage mind at this point.

On the surface, I have conflicted feelings about my mother. I know she loved me and worked tirelessly to give me the best upbringing her religion would allow. And I do appreciate her intentions and efforts. However, upon further reflection I am forced to admit that I am far better off without her in my life. The trauma she inadvertently but quite happily inflicted on me by raising me in a cult has left me with many serious and insurmountable emotional scars. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now that a few years have passed, I have to acknowledge that the happiest day of my life was the day she died. The second happiest was the day my father died.

Involving me in a cult(not knowing what a cult was at the time and before internet because i was very young and impressionable) from the get go against my will(always hated the operation) damaged me in ways i can't even explain to professionals. Even after one finally leaves there are a ton of scars that are hard to deal with. Do i resent my parents for trying to brainwash and indoctrinate me? Yes. Their crazy beliefs got put in my head and messed me up. Getting beyond their influence is a huge effort within itself and i think there is a reason why people move hundreds of miles away to start over far from all of it.

I always thought that my mother never really liked me. She worked hard to be a mother but without the emotional connection that I expected.

Turns out that I was young and inexperienced in life. She suffered tremendously, being abused by her father, being married way to early, having double digit children, being a Mormon woman, and all of the other things that get piled onto a person who for her whole life was treated as subservient to men.

Now I think of the sacrifice she made to just be present in my life and I am grateful. I wish that I didn't mirror her coping mechanism of never being emotionally present but I also am grateful that she passed on to me the ability to disconnect.

She passed a few years ago and I didn't shed a tear. Not because I didn't love her but because that's what she taught me to do.

It amazes me that there is no real socially acceptable way to not honor parents. The Mormon Church THRIVES on this simple fact.

We modern people now put our parents away more often than care for them because they are a burden and often we children were a burden to them growing up.

There is no socially acceptable way to show bad parents for what they are short of out right criminals and monsters.

Human culturals have had and still have a variety of ways to be cohabitant rearers of succeeding generations of people. But is there something in our DNA about honoring the DNA we came from?

I just don't get it. We don't have a bad parents day where we celebrate our freedom from them. That would be very cathartic.

I was always told I was supposed to be a girl. “You were to be the girl we wanted” and then a laugh after such a harsh statement. I felt if I had been a girl I would have been loved and showered with free school clothes instead of doing odd jobs to pay for them from 7th grade on.

With all of those kids did you feel that some were way more neglected than others?

I think you are speaking to me and yes. The kids they showered attention upon are the ones most involved their lives right now. The youngest, the one most like my mother's mother, the one with a severe learning disability who was my mothers' project.

You know, the kids worthy of her attention.

It's very difficult to find a Mother's Day card when you have a, well, complicated relationship with your mother.

"Dear Mother. You were always there for me ..."

Oh, no! That'll never do.

"Mom, you're my best friend ..."

Nope! Next!

It takes a while to find the right one. LOL

When we consider that up to ten per cent of people are narcissistic then it’s likely a lot of children suffer as they grow up. It’s also estimated that around half of us have attachment injuries from childhood (insecure attachment with our primary caregiver) then around half of us are probably not overjoyed by Mother’s Day, or are unaware of why it’s so triggering.
Not sure where Mothering Sunday comes from but isnt it a Christian thing? The bible has the commandment to honour your parents; somehow that extended to obeying them as well. I’m not sure I agree with it all. Being a mother is hard, and I think love and appreciation is important within families. Unfortunately it goes too far; us mothers chose to have our children, and our children are not indebted to us. A ‘good enough’ childhood is the least we can do. In mormonism the edict to honour your mother goes too far; motherhood has been cleverly linked as a commandment to godhood; yet many of those people cause more damage to their children than what they might do otherwise. So it’s doubly understandable why their adult children hate Mother’s Day.

Third of Five notloggedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So it’s doubly
> understandable why their adult children hate
> Mother’s Day.

When your only worth as a child is being a jewel in a Celestial crown is it any wonder?

I had an uncle by marriage who was an alcoholic and his biggest binge was every year on Mothers Day. As I kid I thought it was quite inexplicable but now I get it.

You already have a day (to complain). Your birthday.

This isn't a ranting board. Rant on yourself otherwise.