I recieve gifts. Most of it are cakes or food packages. Good stuff. I do not want it but I get it on my door step.

The dilemma is this: If I do not say thank you the community will hear how ungrateful and spoiled I am.

But if I say thank you (shorts messages) I will 100% of the time get snarky short messages back implying that I am "this" and "that".

Damned if I do damned if I do not.

My solution is sending the Thank you-message and shut down the phone until the message is deleted by the provider.

The reply message is deleted by the provider.

If you don’t want the “gifts,” then tell the givers to stop!

good luck with your food poisoning goals for 2020 OPie ~

What exactly is wrong with being a this or a that? It beats being a scumbucket. I'm a little puzzled as to why they are leaving food. I think there is more to this story.

If so, be gracious and extend warm thanks. Acknowledge that this is a charity situation. Sometimes charity comes with an attached belief system, sometimes not. Just the way things work.

If you don't need the food, then thank them and stress that you are not in need of these goods, and politely insist that they provide these groceries to people in need. It may take a few times. You might reinforce this by telling them that you passed the goods on to a needy person or food bank.* Do this every time they do this.

Then there's the matter of nice gift-type food stuffs: nicely boxed candy, home-made baked goods, maybe prepared meals. These are a bit more difficult. If you can share these with others, great! But tell your "benefactors" that these things are a dietary problem for you: "too rich," "a bit high on the sugar for what I want," "this doesn't fit in with my food regimen," etc.

The best thing is to catch them in the act, and ask (or insist) they discontinue. Consider contacting the ward bishop.

*If you donate to a food pantry, compute the value of the groceries and ask for a receipt. This is tax deductible.

S., you said that this is someone in your family sending the food gifts. Why do you think they are doing it? And what exactly are they saying back to you when you text them a "Thank you"?

Hi

I think they just want to distract me from issues that made me make the decision to create more interpersonal distance to them. I sense the goal is manipulation. For example, they do something nice (giving food or candy) to manipulate me lower my guard and as soon I am relaxed they counterpunch me with shame to make me doubt myself and my judgement. The add layers of absurdity to make me associate personal happiness with shame and guilt.

Shame in what way? That you don't believe, or are not going to church, or following the WoW?

I would tell them that a relationship (which seems to be what they are seeking with the food gifts,) must be built on mutual respect. Tell them, they are free to believe and practice as they wish, but you must be granted the same freedom (to not share their beliefs.) If they can't respect that, then they need to stay away.

Insisting on mutual respect is the basis of any productive relationship.