My tip for the Church to grow is simple, let your missionaries grow beards. 18 year olds look like babies. Beards may have people trust your message more on a subconscious level.

I would've been unable to grow a beard when I was that age. Not many can.

I guess I was unique. I had a pretty full beard once I was 17, not great. By 18-19 I know I could have a full beard. Now look like a hobo man.

Drunken orgies???

Turn the temples back into swingers clubs.

I think the church should pay a bounty. Turn the missionaries loose with 'fill in the name' checks in the amount of $5,000 and watch the numbers grow!

$5,000 divided into 100 billion dollars is 20,000,000. So double the size of the church in most certainly less than a year.

And if they did it in 3rd world countries, they could get 100 million new members!

And in either case, they'd get $1,000,000,000 of that right back in taxes...I mean tithing!!!

Yeah and retention levels would be just lovely I'm sure.

Why give out $5000.00 to each person to get baptised. The people in the poorest of the African countries would join for less than $100.00.

Another option could exempt the missionaries from the word of wisdom and the law of chastity. Then pay them commissions on the number of new baptisms they get. Pay them on a sliding scale with a big bonus if they hit a certain number of baptisms. The number of missionaries would once again surge. And the number of new members would be unprecedented.

Don't give them any ideas!

The hipster conversion rate would jump right up.

Oh come on, even regular people who don't trust teenagers as much, might listen a little more closely to a teenager in a beard.

.....an idea for the POS Edsel to be a success..... or maybe more of a SUCK Cess.... just what the world needs!!!!

I always thought people with beards looked like shysters.
Maybe it was subliminal Brigham Young programming.

Let's see respectable people in modern era with beards.

Fidel Castro (Cuba)
Don Trump Jr. (Mar a Lago)
Ted Cruz (TX)
Colin Kapernick (CA)
Justin Trudeau (Canada)

Yep checks out. All men of outstanding altruism and integrity.

guy34 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My tip for the Church...

Beards may.. [or may not do anyting...]

Don't tip TSCC

If so, tip it OVER.

Never UNDER tip!
Unless you're in your UNDERWEAR.

My dad joined the Army during WWII at age 17. He fought on the front lines in Germany by age 18. He was the biggest guy in the unit so he carried a BAR.

After a few months on the front lines with no shaving, he was chosen to go to the mess tent and find out why food and supplies were not making it to the front line men. Carrying his BAR and a couple months of beard growth, food and supplies got to the front line men within minutes.

My dad was a pussy cat. He said he was surprised how scared those guys behind the lines were when they saw him. He was one of the first wounded at the Battle of the Bulge.

Maybe some scary dude missionaries could frighten investigators into converting.

Pooped Wrote:
>... so he carried a
> BAR.

Missionaries should carry a bar, or carry a (TRUE) tune to the bar.


> Maybe some scary missionaries could frighten investigators into converting.

Investigators don't actually INVESTIGATE. But aside from that, missionaries DO scare perspective members [if they tell them the truth, which they don't/ (technically) can't].

MORMONISM scares them onto 'missions' so maybe that counts!