How did someone born in Palestine more than 2000 years ago have a Puerto Rican name?

Explain that, biblical scholars.

/s

CrispingPin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How did someone born in Palestine more than 2000
> years ago have a Puerto Rican name?
>
> Explain that, biblical scholars.
>
> /s

:D

And so many don't realize that the H. stands for Hernando.

How did jesus ride on two asses ? Was he standing on them ?

The one he was riding and the ass sitting on it.

Yes, standing. He was doing Roman style, as was the fashion at the time. Go, Jesus!

https://web.archive.org/web/20110716212807/http://www.texastrickrider.com/Roman.html

"CREATED IN 2004 THE TEXAS TRICK RIDERS CATERS TO STATE FAIRS AND EXPO’S

ONLY THE BEST ACTS ARE PART OF AN ACTION PACKED 20 TO 30 MINUETS."
==================================================================


That guy must be a good dancer.

+Dave the Atheist:
He has a very wide gate?

~~~~iceman9090

>He has a very wide gate?

Larry Craig?

It was "wide stance", not "wide gate".

Although Craig himself supposedly didn't use the term "Wide Stance"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig_scandal

Craig never used the term "wide stance" himself. According to the transcript of the police interrogation, Sgt. Karsnia asked: "Did you do anything with your feet?" and Craig replied: "Positioned them, I don't know. I don't know at the time. I'm a fairly wide guy."[7]

I have to admit I stole this joke from an episode of Family Guy.

In one of those Middle Eastern wars, Israeli and Arab artillery were shelling each other from opposite mountainsides. The Israeli commander looked through his binoculars and saw some civilians in the valley in between. He arranged for a ceasefire, jumped in his jeep and raced down to the valley center. Much to his surprise, he found a man leading a donkey, with a very pregnant young woman riding it.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "Don't you know you're in the middle of a war? Who are you?"

"I'm Joseph," the man said. "This is my wife, Mary. We're going to Bethlehem. We expect her to give birth there."

"Joseph...Mary...Bethlehem?" the Israeli officer gasped. "Are you going to name the baby 'Jesus'?"

"Who do you take us for," Joseph answered. "Puerto Ricans?"

+caffiend:
Isn't that normal in latin america?
I bet lots of them are named Joseph, Mary, Jesus.
Maybe, some of them name all their boys after the 12 guys, except for Judas.

~~~~iceman9090

According to my very limited experience with them, yes, New Testament names are very common, both Spanish and Anglicized. I've had a bit more exposure to Brazilians, and was surprised at the number of Euro- and North American names, such as Jefferson, Edison, Guttenberg (really!), Thomas, Lincoln, etc. I don't know whether those names were given at birth or adopted upon reaching North America.

Jesus is just how we (starting with the Romans) have chosen to pronounce the name. I think if you go look this up, you will find that his Hebrew given name was YESHUA. And this translated to Jesus in Latin.

"Jesus" in Puerto Rico (or any other Hispanic country or area) is named after him, not the other way around.

I get amazed sometimes at what people on here pick to argue about. I hope the OP was being tongue in cheek and trying to be funny.

I’m the OP.

For one thing, I ended the original post with “/s”

In a reply, I admitted that I stole the joke from an episode of Family Guy.

Most of the replies have been silly (intentionally).

I think it was pretty obvious that this thread was intended to be funny.

CrispingPin, I will take all of those comments as you then intended, and as I really hoped they were meant to be taken.....funny.

I guess I did not know what the /s was meant to represent.

Sometimes my own wife doesn’t know when I’m joking, so (IMO) you’re in good company. ;)

Poe's Law rears its ugly head again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law

I think the biggest flaw is the "miracles"....supernatural magic doesn't happen....period.....changing water to wine? Feeding 5K people with a few loaves and fishes? Raising a dead person, including himself? Walking on water? Etc...?

I've always wondered . . . If the supposed miracles were a victim of lack of vocabulary. Exaggeration just for fun. So many of the great comics are Jewish you know.

I mean, when Jesus invented riding waves on a flat board they had no word for that and "walking on water" was just an obvious choice.

Lazarus. Just the heaviest sleeper eveR? So hard to wake up that people would joke waking him was like raising the dead. But writing it in a Bible without a smiley face next to it changes everything. Poe's law, y'know?

Like at that party where Jesus said, "This wine tastes like water. Eww. Let's get out the good stuff. Where's that magnum bottle of Montrachet 0020? "


The Bible and the Book of Mormon would both work better with a lot more smiley faces and assorted icons-- including that new brown one.

>> The Bible and the Book of Mormon would both work better with a lot more smiley faces and assorted icons.

I think it would be better if it had pop-up figures. Open 1st nephi and up pops nephi with a sword, turn the page and he chops off labans head!

I recently got my DVD copy of the original Godzilla and the box that holds the DVD opens up and Godzilla pops up! Its awesome! That's the stuff the BOM needs!

If Jesus had a Hammer he would not have been crucified. Nobody messes with THOR - because he has a hammer.

I just imagined Jesus singing “if I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning...”