When you opened up to others about your beliefs that the church wasn't true, what was said to you to try to reassert your programming?

"You're trusting to your own pride and understanding, rather than trusting in the Lord" was one I heard.

What were some of the things you were told to invalidate your realizations and new knowledge?

You've hardened your heart (whatever that means- maybe you'll need surgery for that)

You didn't pray enough (you're supposed to keep praying until you agree with them)

Satan is influencing you

"Those essays have anti Mormon information" Unclear how those essays made it on the church website .

"If you're not feeling the Spirit in church it's your fault for not being in tune"

"Don't worry about things like Joseph Smith marrying other men's wives and don't worry about no archeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, just have faith!"

And my favorite Dieterism "Doubt your Doubts"

You just want to sin.

Well, they got that one right with you, Dave. Didn't they!

I hope to shout!!!

"I can't change my views at this point in my life, I am too old"

"I don't want your negative energy"

"This could be a test of your faith?"

by my friend's husband who didn't know me all that well. I was ordered back to church by my aunt's husband (I don't claim him as an uncle--I can't imagine how she tolerates him). My friend told me she knew I still believed deep down.

I asked one friend of mine, one who had told me to marry my gay husband and it would all work out and he'd never leave me--after he left me, I asked this friend to tell me why I should keep going to church. He said that he really didn't have any answers for me except that he knew it was the right thing to do.

My dad started telling me all the reasons he questioned it, as did my mother. They were in shock that I left. I was their most devout child. They never worried I'd leave. They were very supportive. Especially my mother, who was more active mormon than my dad was.

Mormon: So you’re serious, you’re really gonna quit?

Exmo. The life? Most definitely.

Mormon: So if you’re quitting the life, what’ll you do?

Exmo: That’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating. First, I’m gonna deliver this Ensign to my home teaching family. Then, basically, I’m gonna walk the earth.

Mormon: What do you mean, walk the earth?

Exmo: You know, like Caine in „KUNG FU.“ Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.

Mormon: How long do you intend to walk the earth?

Exmo: Until God puts me where he want me to be.

Mormon: What if he never does?

Exmo: If it takes forever, I’ll walk forever.

When I was attending seminary, a missionary was speaking and told us that "The church doesn't need you, but you need the church".

Fast forward to the present: I was outside talking with my TBM next door neighbor and when I told her we had quit the church, she hugged me, was crying, and said " Oh, I'm so sorry!".

The ward missionary couple came over shortly after that and said that my husband and I gave the strongest best testimonies and said, we know that you guys are strong believers; "you need to get your butts back in church and we'll haul you over if we have to."

But the First Place Award for gas lighting goes to: Faust, for his
"where will you go, what will you do?"

Remember, these self-select into an autocracy that demands mindless obedience and discourages the development of independent critical thought.

To truly gaslight requires a modicum of, if not banal intelligence, at least a knowing-craftiness.
The capacity to think in a minimum of at least two-dimensions.

From experience, I think confirmed Mormons are incapable of truly gaslighting. Just don't have the stuff.
Rather, we're being treated to a recitation of bumper-sticker slogans, at best -- and not even skillfully applied.

Sad! (Or at least funny)

"Someone offended you and rather that forgiving them you want to run"

This ^^^

This insults me, because I used to be a faithful, God-loving Christian, and no petty "offense" by some idiot would ever have caused me to turn my back on my beliefs.

My gossipy TBM neighbor: "Did we do something to offend you?"
Me: "Why do you ask? Did you do or say something offensive?"

Bishop: "You are turning your back on God,"
Me: "Certainly not. I still love God and Christ. I'm turning my back on Joseph Smith and his polygamous church."

Mormon:
Why have you left the church?

Ex-member:
I was offended by someone.

Mormon:
Oh come on. There has to be more to it than that? The church and its members offend everyone.

Ex-member:
Well yes, actually there is. I wanted to sin.

Mormon:
Oh come-on, there has to be more to it than just that. Everyone wants to sin. Just don't let anyone else see you doing it and you'll be good.

Ex-member:
Well yes, actually. None of what I was taught makes sense. The church is an obvious fraud. I feel bad about even being a part of it.

Mormon:
Well... you've got a point there. Actually, I've had some questions myself but have been afraid to talk about it.

Ex-member:
(Thinking to self) Wow, gaslighting works for them. Why doesn't it work for me? He wouldn't leave me alone until I told him the truth.

Why don't you let Jesus in? he's trying so hard to reach you. My location was never a secret. I saw no effort on the part of a myth to reach me.

Yes, when it comes to tithing, I just leave ten percent of my income out on my dining room table after I get paid, before I go to bed. Then Jesus comes while I am asleep and takes what he wants of my money and leaves the rest for me. I guess that's a full tithing. Actually, the Mormon church hasn't gotten their hands on any of my money for over thirty years now.

lol AzSteve

Making note that Steve lives in AZ.

Ok next time you leave your tithing out. I promise the Lord will collect it!

(Oh by the way, Mormon Jesus is getting too old to walk through walls. Do you mind leaving your door unlocked?)

"No contact? Are you sure?" *shocked face*

(I left without a word, didn't give anyone a chance to question anything.)

I resigned before anyone had a chance to discuss it with me. But after my resignation the bishop's wife insinuated that I left because I was lazy. I only stayed because I thought it was true. But when I left I felt so relieved that it wasn't true and I could relax or be lazy without feeling any guilt. It kind of tells me that she feels a lot of pressure and would rather do less but cannot because she would be sinning.

them: you are really going to quit THE church ???........after all that it has done for you !!!!!

me: Yah, hopefully I can get away before THE church does any more for me, since it's miracle that it has not already destroyed me .....with all that it has done for me.

"Zelph, theirs always one reason people leave the one true church. Tell us what it is and we can start fixing it."

Zelph: its not one thing, its many let me list them:
2 hr personal complaints of hypocrisy & heresy
2 hr the crap that makes no sense
2 hr on the fact that those who are try for the CK are the last people i want to spend a few hours a week with let alone eternity.
then I move on to a general outline of:
No man knows my history
By his own hand upon papyrus
an insiders view of mormon origins
CES letter
The 200 billion Latter Day swindle

Their response:
"Oh.... you just need to tune out the devil and his facts."

I cannot worship the limited go of lies.

After reading the BOM at age 8, or so, I kept thinking... why is god so limited?

"The natural man is an enemy to God."

God has enemies? I thought he was omnipotent? How can God have enemies? Isnt God, God?

"The natural man is an enemy to the church." now theres one that makes sense.

...and then i look around and see those who came to win me back are gone. Either to circle the wagons with the remainder of the sheep, or to go home and begin to fester with doubts.

For every sole you free from the church of lies and deception, how great will be your joy!

Im beginning to experiance some joy in this way.

It becometh of every exmo that has been warned of the MLM to warn his neighbor.

You forgot the long trotted out explanation/double bind of people in the church aren't perfect when referring to adulterous, blatantly dishonest, racist, intolerant and even murderous acts of superiority and privilege when referring to members past or present but if you doubt one bit that what leaders are saying is bullsh*t or even so much as withhold a senine of your savings from the church - then the devil hath all power over you. In a rare display of divine mercy, the mormon church wants you to forgive and accept their mistakes while they don't forgive or tolerate the least degree of latitude when it comes to you.

With a self condemning, passive aggressive culture, what are the fruits of mormonism can ye tell? $100B and counting.