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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 03, 2020 01:55PM
Bednar's spiritual preservation process

In order for one to spiritually surive the eternities one has to be packed, sterilized, and heart processed. The Mormon baptism is like a spiritual "boiling water-bath" in order to protect one's spirit and preserve it for eternity.

"Finally, he said, cured cucumbers are packed into sterilized jars and heat processed in order to remove impurities and to seal the containers from external contaminants. The boiling water-bath procedure enables the pickles to be both protected and preserved over a long period of time."
https://www.thechurchnews.com/archives/2007-04-07/elder-david-a-bednar-spiritual-rebirth-explained-by-parable-of-the-pickle-81919

No wonder properly prepared cucumbers look the same regardless of the scale.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/21-fascinating-images-of-everyday-objects-under-a-microscope/ss-BB18yZoV?ocid=spartan-dhp-feeds#image=10

Mormonism is pasteurized people.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 03, 2020 02:44PM
When I was young "getting pickled" was a slang term for getting drunk. (n/t)


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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 03, 2020 02:53PM
Re: When I was young "getting pickled" was a slang term for getting drunk.

Better Mormonism is fermented people used in masses to get leaders drunk on power.

Their whine grows stronger with age.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 03, 2020 03:49PM
Bravo, Older Berry

You're giving Old Elder Dog and Lot's Favorite Wife a run for their money!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 06, 2020 05:33PM
Re: Bravo, Older Berry

I don't think anyone in the EOD-Saucie or L/LW households will wine over that characterization.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: September 04, 2020 10:44AM
Re: Bednar's reservation process: hot tubs!

Mormonism can get you in hot water: naked community baths! Relaxing... Ahhh

Health preservation-

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 04, 2020 03:21PM
Re: Bednar's reservation process: hot tubs!

I don't think that they initiate that...anymore.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: September 04, 2020 03:38PM
Re: Bednar's spiritual preservation process

So Bednar wants us to pack our pickles where it's warm.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 04, 2020 04:34PM
Re: Bednar's spiritual preservation process

Yes, but it is only where his spirituality grows, not where his cucumber grows. His next pickle parable will be "sexual." How to properly grow cumbers in order to pick a peck of pickles.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2020 04:35PM by Elder Berry.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: September 04, 2020 07:16PM
Re: Bednar's spiritual preservation process

Do you need to soak your cucumbers before you can pickle them?

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: September 06, 2020 05:30PM
Re: Bednar is in a pickle

Just saw a picture of him, along with the other old men,(in a program on Mormonism today), taken around the eighties. They ALL look sick, lost empty... but besides this, he also looks creepy (not that they all don't), vile, and even evil.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 08, 2020 02:45PM
Re: Bednar is in a pickle

Check out the bored kids at his Sunday School lesson (picture.)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/family-history?lang=eng

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Posted by: anonculus ( )
Date: September 11, 2020 03:16PM
Re: Bednar's spiritual preservation process

Claussen Pickles are never heated.

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