I'm conflicted!

All the lead roles are filled, but you know they will cast all the Big Titted Song Birds they can get, and ghawd knows Ego-Crested Cockhounds are always cute.

If I play to my strength, I can count on landing a spot in the chorus line of the Brown-beaked Yacky Yaquis, but I've always had a thing about playing against type.

I probably should get a new head shot...

When the Big Casting Director in the Sky interviews you, what're you gonna say? What scenes from your life are you going to play for him?

I wan the lead as the harem co-ordinator

Be careful what you wish for. Harem guards were usually castrated.

Bartender at the at the Celestial Bar and Grill where everyone actually does know your name. Cuz, like, there's a good chance of that when there are only thirty or so names.

Ruth and Gabriel? Your booth is ready. I'm your host, Gabriel. What a coincidence, huh?

Naomi and Mosiah, you're up next. Our specials today are the Satanic Sling, the Bloody Mary Magdalene which comes with a Bednar pickle rather than a celery stick, and the Job Boilermaker.

"Hey which one of you eleven Ishmaels ordered the Dallin Daquiri?"

I will be the quiet person in the corner reading a book. You keep the Chard and Pino Gris coming and I would like some nice snacks please.
I will make a list.

I would audition for the Wayfaring Warblers, but since I lack singing talents I’m sure that they would cut the audition short and send me packing.

I think I would like to ride with the Dimwitted Danites and cruise the store parking lots on Sundays looking for the best dressed mormons who sneak out of church for a diet Coke & candy bar. Yeah, they are easy to spot, and need to be chastised.

If those auditions fail, I can always try out for Road Show Director. Yeah, that has a nice ring to it and I wouldn’t have to do a dang thing. Heck, I wouldn’t even have to show up to audition.

Condom tester ?

They're not for your thumbs, you silly!

Beer tester

elderolddog Wrote:
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> I'm conflicted!
> ... > When the Big Casting Director in the Sky interviews you, what're you gonna say? What scenes from your life are you going to play for him?

Um, I can't interview myself. Duh-

And sir, put down that mic and get over here!

Last time around, I wound up with this incredibly, sometimes unbelievably, wonderful life I have right now--even including all of the not-so-good, and sometimes the truly horrendous, parts.

Next time around, I am completely willing to go with whatever got me to THIS life (which, on balance, turned out to be deeply and exceedingly good).

I have two requests:

1) I would like to be born a Jew....growing up in a happy, middle-class, supportive, achieving, NON-Orthodox, normal Jewish family--and I would appreciate the usual Jewish priority of the college education I was always (starting when I was a toddler) PROMISED in this life, but as it turned out, I was never allowed to actually access because my Dad made sure it would never happen.

2) I would greatly appreciate not being born into a family with racist relatives. No racism at all, if I have my druthers. I figure that, with this life, I've paid my racism dues double- or triple-fold already, just trying to survive the racism of my maternal relatives.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2020 03:26AM by Tevai.

Okay, I just spent a couple of hours planning my [ideal] next life (beginning with that promised college education I never got this time around).

After some concentrated searching on the Internet, here is my plan:

Pomona College. (I've known for maybe thirty years now that Pomona College, in Claremont, California, would be my ideal choice of college. I used to go to their bookstore every time I was even vaguely somewhere in the surrounding area, and many of the books on my shelves right now are from that bookstore.)

Major: Either linguistics or philosophy (perhaps with economics or international relations as a minor). Either one of the "top two" would be a more-or-less open entre to law school most anywhere in the USA.

I figure I will probably carry my present life ability to write over to my next lifetime, so I could use that experience to get into Pomona in the first place (it is one of the most competitive schools in the USA)....and my foreign languages going in to Pomona would be Hebrew, Spanish, and possibly Ancient Greek--with maybe a smidgen of Latin and at least some Sanskrit, so if I could get some writing credits or national contest awards IN any of those languages, it would assist me greatly in getting accepted as a Pomona College undergraduate.

All of which would provide me with four undergraduate years to decide if I want to go to law school or not. (With good undergraduate GPAs and good LSATs, 75% of philosophy majors are accepted at the top law schools, which is an amazingly high rate. Linguistics majors also have very high acceptance rates at the top-tier law schools, and the possible economics or international relations minors I might choose would greatly assist in finding the right, all-important, first regular job after a Bachelor's degree.)

It would be easy to pick entertainment law as a specialty (since I've been dealing with it for most of my life this time around), but--in addition--I would also then have a number of other options to choose from (like international relations, or politics) which, at that future time, I might like better. (Pomona College is part of the group of 50 top colleges and universities in the nation who produce the highest number of American diplomats.)

In any case, I would, at that point, have a variety of possible employment places to "land" after I received my Bachelor's degree and [again: possibly] law degree.

So thank you, EOD. Because of this thread, I now have at least a number of potential paths and options ready to choose from as I enter adulthood in my next-up lifetime!

[Assuming, of course, that I also get the middle-class Jewish family, etc., etc.]

!Muchisimas gracias!



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2020 07:47PM by Tevai.

Would you settle for being a Jewish family’s house cat?

bradley Wrote:
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> Would you settle for being a Jewish family’s
> house cat?

No.

Even in the very most loving and deeply supportive Jewish families, their cats do not get the kinds of comprehensive educations (from pre-school through university graduate school) that are "just normal" (and expected) for Jewish kids of the human variety.

I'm hoping for a small role as the janitor who offers wisdom and snark to the protagonists.

But I'll probably end up playing a tree. Again.

> But I'll probably end up
> playing a tree. Again.


I beg to differ. I SAW that performance! I didn't see someone 'playing' a tree; I saw a goddam TREE!!

I was moved! I wept!

I turned to the complete stranger next to me, with tears in my eyes, and I said, "Now THAT is a TREE!!"

Bravo!

Thanks. Maybe I'll get a nomination for a Golden Birch award someday.

My UFO... to
Share my TOFU,
In a tutu-
With you-
On my toughit!
Without light.
Tonight. Right?

That, or a rabbit. I like the way they Hop... It's Hip! Speaking of 'HiPoP', if I couldn't tick tock or dance around the cock of the walk, I might just be a clock! that way I can tell time [what to do].

Speaking of time, OH NO, much as I'd like to stay and talk, and listen, I have another part, and so, regrettably, I must (you guessed it) part.