Hello everyone, earlier today I got my patriarchal blessing. When it was over, I was SHOCKED how freaking accurate it was. I obviously don’t remember it word for word, but it said a lot about my desires and who I am. First off, it said I’m an Ephraim (no surprise) and then it went on to talk about me in general (can’t say too much for the sake of anonymity)

After that, it went on to warn me of putting bad substances in my body, and then the law of chastiy. Holy sh*t that one was direct... “do not break the law of chastity.” It also warned of seeking for treasures and worldly things (someone said in my last post “your desires to become filthy rich”

After that it talked about the typical Mormon things, like a mission and future family. Anyway, I’m curious what all of your thoughts are so lmk in the comments. Thanks for reading!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/11/2020 07:37PM by hujo.

> After that, it went on to warn me of putting bad
> substances in my body, and then the law of
> chastiy. Holy sh*t that one was direct... “do
> not break the law of chastity.” It also warned
> of seeking for treasures and worldly things
> (someone said in my last post “your desires to
> become filthy rich”

I think, hujo, that your values are still quite Mormon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/11/2020 09:15PM by Lot's Wife.

?? My names not bradley... were you speaking to me, or a deleted comment?

Error corrected. I was speaking to you, hujo. it strikes me that a lot of your concerns are Mormon rather than ex-Mormon let alone normal.

How is breaking the law of chastity and putting "harmful substances in your body" mormon?

Which values do you find "mormon?"

We could start with the "law of chastity." That is Mormon and psychologically unhealthy.

As for substances, how about coffee and tea? Are those wrong? Science says they are quite healthy.

Weed? No real evidence that, taken in moderation, MJ is destructive.

Alcohol? Same thing: science suggests that in moderate quantities that can be quite salubrious.

So yes, your concerns about chastity and the WoW are ones that you may abandon as you get further out of the church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2020 11:31PM by Lot's Wife.

Lots Wife, I think there may be some confusion here. I'm definitely not going to keep the law of chastity, and then I'll probably break the wofw as I get older.

Am I concerned about them? The short answer is yes.

And I think I may understand what you're getting at- my concerns match those of TBM's. Is that correct?

Yes.

Just take the moderate road. You'll be tempted to go wild, which isn't a great idea not only because you live with your parents but also because going wild isn't a great idea in general. Be conservative.

But yes, "the law of chastity" and the word of wisdom are ways of looking at the world that probably aren't very healthy.

I'm coming to realize that apparently sex really isn't all that. My exmo cousin who recently escaped just had sex for this first time, and it's not the big deal we both thought it was. I guess mormons overhype it.

Methinks your cousin isn't doing it right.

There's a learning curve to sex just like anything else. The first time I played a guitar, I wasn't very good, it wasn't that fun, but I wanted to do it. The more I played, the better I got and the more fun it became....to the point that I've had experiences playing guitar live that were as good as sex, and sex is great.

First time I had sex, same thing, but it got better and better the more I and my partners learned how.

> I've had
> experiences playing guitar live that were as good
> as sex,

Methinks you aren't doin' it right.

You'd have to watch and see for yourself!

Wouldn't that, my friend, be like watching a T-ball game instead of the World Series?

As long as I get a trophy, I'm good.

Well in today's America, you are guaranteed a participation trophy so all is good!

It all started with T-ball. Ruined a generation.

Hah!

But it produced you too, didn't it? So in at least some cases it was a smokin' hot policy!

I'm not a product of the T-ball generation. When my buddy told me about his young son playing t-ball and they didn't keep score and everyone gets a trophy, I knew it was all wrong. Even though I coached youth soccer for a few years later when my son played and I gave trophies to everyone! Ahhhhhh....the horror!

How specific was it? Cold readings and horoscopes can be surprisingly accurate when you yourself stretch to find things to fit the vague descriptions.

If it was specific about things that anyone could find out from talking to your parents or your bishop, I'd hold back from jumping into "it's the real deal!"

It fit who I am pretty well, but I guess he talked with leaders and parents before to see what my personalities like.

This is very common. It happened to me. I walked in to the office and there were my parents. Some things were specific to me only because of preexisting knowledge: I was married, I was teaching sunday school, hadn't gone on a mission or been sealed, etc.

There have been many people, all dead now, that their PB said they would see the second coming before their death. Last I checked it hasn't happened although there is a story about it happening in the late 1800s but if it did, it sure didn't go as expected.

I like to seek for treasure. acquiring things brings happiness. It's the quest that's enjoyable, setting goals thinking through obstacles and then obtaining. It's great! So I've never understood why Mormons think this is wrong. Come to think of it, didn't Smith go out looking for treasure on a few occasions?

Lmao thats true. I don't understand why either. "Seeking for treasure" just makes their brainwashed ATM machines give them more! Maybe it's cause they'll become red pilled with money.

Why are you shocked? We pretty much told you what it would say.

He talked to your bishop, parents and youth leaders beforehand, so he already knew all of your pressure points.

I specifically said that he would tell you to keep morally clean, because mom & dad spilled the beans about your cousin sex conversations.

I'm the one who predicted that your folks might have told him about your yen for dollars. I thought he would spin it into a "pay your tithing and be blessed" promise rather than a warning about seeking for treasure, so IMO he missed a golden opportunity there, but he did bring it up.

This is precisely how the church uses the PB as a tool to keep naïve members indoctrinated – by making them believe that the lord (a) knows them directly and (b) inspires his servants to guide them in the path of the one true gospel. But like a magician, once you know how it's done it loses the wow appeal.

We didn't have a "pre-blessing interview" but I'm not surprised that they would talk to people before.

Good predictions outta the cult!

First. Wait for the written transcript. What my patriarch said and my transcript said were not the same.

Once you read it ask yourself this. Is anything said that is not church doctrine?

Law of chastity church doctrine.
Mission church doctrine.
Seek ye first the kingdom of god before riches church doctrine.
Temple marriage church doctrine.

Then remove the cliches

Wear whole armor of god
Love the lord
Follow the profit
Etc.

After you sort all that out see what is left.

Then ask is what's left good fatherly advice?

Mine had things like find a job that is enjoyable to do. Seek to constantly learn. Don't make big decisions in haste. These can be helpful.

Lastly see what if anything is left.

Good luck.

thanks heartless :)

I transcribed my own PB, since apparently whoever usually did it wasn't available. I had freelanced as a medical transcriber before, so I had my own equipment. I offered to take the tape, transcribe it, and return it along with a copy to the Patriarch. He was very appreciative.

I got the usual line about "You were born to goodly parents. . ." (One point off on that one.) And he said that I would marry and raise a family of children with a goodly spouse.

At the time, I was newly divorced, had borne one child, and had undergone surgical intervention so there would be no more children. So at the time of the blessing, I cynically snorted at the thing about "goodly spouse" and "children."

Since then, I remarried (29 years ago today, in fact!!) and ended up raising three other kids in addition to mine, and I have a VERY "goodly" spouse.

What the dear old fellow could not have predicted was that I would quit drinking the Kool-Aid and resign from the church.

While I never had any particular qualms about telling smallish untruths in order to get a temple recommend, my husband-to-be was much too honest to do so.

There was never a question about being married in the temple. (Not that he is a dreadful sinner. He does things like watching R-rated movies, with me!! And he has tasted various types of alcohol on occasion, at home. I do not encourage this at all, because his father (like my mother) was a terrible, out-of-control alcoholic and DH struggles with some quasi-addictive tendencies in other directions.)

So the Patriarch was right about some things that I couldn't have guessed about, and whenever I re-read my PB, I am amazed at the number of things he got right.

Shockingly accurate ? It's what is known as a hot reading. They know everything about you because you and your parents have told them. What were you expecting ?

facts dave

Don't take drugs.

Don't have sex.

What percentage of patriarchal blessings to teenage boys over the last fifty years have included those warnings?

My guess: every last one of them, or pretty close.

Also included, find a wife, go to the temple, raise up your children in righteousness, blah, blah, blah.

ETA: things you will never see in a PB: you have a special spirit. You are gay, and will be blessed to marry within your gender.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2020 12:39AM by Brother Of Jerry.

Patriarch: Don’t do the socially unacceptable things that most teenagers at least think about doing.

Hujo: Dude.

::snort::

Well put.

Don't worry, if the Patriarch doesn't scare you, chlamydia and throat cancer should. Dude.

hahahha

Spencer said everyone must be alike. It follows that a single patriarchal blessing should work for everyone.

The name must be different, I guess, but even that could be routinized: "Dear Child of God. . ."

I'm guessing you are pretty young? Or maybe a single convert?

If so, it would make sense for a patriarch to talk about things a teenager or single adult member would likely struggle with or eventually struggle with or experience temptations or pressures to engage in sexual things or drinking/smoking.

From countless patriarchal blessings shared by members or ex-members, it seems that patriarchs get really specific if they no something specific about the person they are blessing. Patriarchs often get information beforehand either from already knowing that person, talking to people that know that person, and talking to their parents or relatives but also from what they can extract during their little interview with the blessee just before the blessing is performed.

My p blessing was much longer than the average pb. It was three pages whereas they are usually 1-2 pages. My guess is that my patriarch was in my ward where I grew up in AND he used to be my bishop. On other words, he knew me very well.

He knew I struggled with being shy and introverted and with public speaking. Coincidentally that specific thing was addressed by saying my "mouth would be opened" and I'd be able to talk with people etc. Not only did he know that about me beforehand but it's not too difficult to predict that I'd overcome my shyness and be able to speak to people if one has already been on a mission. Just doing the same thing over and over again under pressure from companions, mission leaders etc forces you to get over talking and being more outgoing.

He also knew I loved Boy Scouts, was the first Eagle Scout in my ward in years, and was currently serving as an assistant Scoutmaster. So "coincidentally" he talked about how I'd be a "leader amount men and boys" etc.

There's probably other things but everything he said very specifically about me were things he already knew about me.

I remember giving blessings or ordinations to other people and though we were supposedly supposed to receive inspiration via the holy ghost, everything that came to my minder were simply things I already knew about the person along with the general religious stuff you could give to anyone. I'm sure it's no different for a patriarch.

yeah, I'm a teenager (mentally out) but in high school so still in a tbm household.

They share a lot in common e.g. stuff about going to the temple and getting sealed. However, mine had nothing about seeking riches. I never got a warning about drugs.

I think excessively personal prophecies are frowned upon. Most people are Ephraim, but note, not all are - it caused issues when siblings were said to be from different tribes.

The last patriarch didn't really know me, so I suppose that helped.

The word generic is not just for cheaper prescriptions at the pharmacist. The word also applies to third rate religious based life plans.

hujo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After that it talked about the typical Mormon
> things, like a mission and future family. Anyway,
> I’m curious what all of your thoughts are so lmk
> in the comments. Thanks for reading!

I think you will make AP on your future mission.

what does AP mean again? I tried googling it but I think it's different here.

Assistant to the Mission President: the highest non-commissioned officer in the army.

Lol what makes you say that? (I'm definitely NOT going)

You are a young Mormon kid playing with old ExMormons. You will soon probably if not already be at mission age. You've considered a mission and would like to see what you would be up against in critics of your beliefs.

You may even have a potential sexual partner encouraging your future mission.

How am I doing against your stake patriarch?

I'll bet $100 I don't go

I'll bet you $100 you've considered it seriously.

At your service!

Here's the list ..


https://www.exmormon.org/d6/drupal/abbreviations

Thanks dave

Would you like some J and bread with that PB ?

hell yeah!

I broke (or seriously bent) the law of chastity at a young age followed shortly thereafter by slam dunking the WOW...all happening before I got my PB.

What sin did you commit my fellow son of perdition?

To me, the p.b. could fit almost anyone (ho-hum), with no surprises.

A female neighbor gave me my horoscope, which turned out to be very accurate regarding me and my father (that he would die young, but that I was never to tell him this).

She also told me that I would marry a good and cheerful man, so much so, that "she was absolutly jealous" of me. She was acurrate, but didn't warn me that a lot of his jokes could be kind of corrny. :)

BTW: Before I married him, he had been a Sargent in the Army Aircor, who was favored by the brass to be their jeep driver around town, because he could speak a little bit of French and German laugages, and always carried with him two small langages bks (which I still have).

When he died, a female officer of the core gave him a proper officer buryal with a solute, and a properly folded American flag--which I still have, and to boot, his father's flag, from WWI!

Wow! mine said the same things.