I was thinking about my time as a Mormon (joined 1992 for TBM finace, was fully active until I resigned and divorced in 2007). Although I never believed all of the oddness, and very rarely felt comfortable with the doctrine, I did my best to fit in, held leadership callings, did all my visiting teaching, meeting attending, etc. I met some lovely people, but once I left, it was lights out, I was truly shunned. Never in the 13 years have I missed it, I just keep wondering why I stayed in that long.

A couple of things stand out as truly creepy and bizarre, please feel free to share your own.

1. TBM husband had been married before, it ended very badly with adultery and drug use on her part. However, because their children were "sealed" to them, he would never marry me in the temple. Literally on our first date, he started carrying on about seeing my face across the altar, but after we were married, he said he couldn't "invalidate" his children. I guess it was OK for our two children to float around unsealed. I was sad at the time, but of course I realize the silliness of it all now.
2. Husband's parents were LDS, but never married in the temple because they saw too much hypocrisy among their temple married friends. They had stopped attending church in the 1970s. When his father died unexpectedly, in 2002 after 55 years of marriage, his mother reactivated. In no time, she scheduled a temple marriage to her deceased husband with her son (my husband) standing in as proxy.

So I had a husband who was temple married to both his ex-wife and his mother (not the intended effect, but that's what happened), but not to me. And, though he was an attorney, he loved to talk about how temple marriage was the only real marriage. I am happily out and very happily remarried, both of my children are happily out of it all with me. I still wonder why I put up with the nonsense and regret that I raised my children in such foolishness.

Enjoyed the read! thinking of my own cringeworthy mormonts in mormondom, I remember back to childhood the church was more serious in those days (Benson days) there was lots of guilt, lots of threatening tones, from the pulpit. Our Bishops family was very involved and driven by duty. I remember the bishops wife being very young with too many kids, being the primary president, relief society president, activities coordinator, visiting teacher to 7-15 needy women, involved in youth activities. The church literally took up at least 6 hours a day 7 days a week. This women was always close to tears, was always at the pulpit crying and crying. Was always screaming at her kids, screaming at the rest of us too.

Thinking back on it all. She was abused. I feel bad for her now.

For me, going on a 2-year mission for the cult is pretty cringeworthy. Here I was at 19 thinking I had all the answers to the Filipinos I met. I baptized many of them. I think they joined the cult because they thought the cult would help them. Which it did, but only for a short time. Typical. Some of my converts are still in. I cringe whenever I see them on facebook going on and on about how true the church is.

I did that. Perhaps I can say if it wasn't me it would have been the next mormon missionary they ran across. Still I feel guilty. I told them all I'm out and they are in a cult but they just shrug it off and tell me they will pray for me.

Here's to everybody who got out! (I'm holding up a glass)

One of my sister in laws bore her testimony that polygamy is of God and sacred. She confessed that she was ready to share her husband with the lonely sisters in heaven when the time comes. Most bizarre thinking.

When I was discovering the church was hoax, I approached my oldest brother to ask him of some things I read in the BOM, when I handed the book to him, he threw it back at me in disgust. I mean, I wonder if people go brain dead at some point to not realize their hypocrisy.