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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 04:47AM

Did you encounter any Job Comforters on your low downs? People that put salt in your wounds.

The comforters intrigue me because they are like guardians keeping people from making their own minds up about things that are wrong in a religious group.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 08:13AM

Explain it? I don't know what it is. I thought you were asking about something to do with one's job, and I had no idea what you were referring to. I should have guessed it was the Book of Job, given your Bible obsession.

I have never heard the term, and given the two examples you cited, I'm still not very clear on what you are talking about. Some people seem to have a fondness for passive-aggressive shadenfreud. I really don't know why.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 08:54AM

I believe referring to Job in the bible who did not receive a great deal of comfort

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 11:50AM

Yes. That is right. I wonder how you reply to people that do such things in a conversation.

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 08:33AM

They need for God to exist so strongly that everything must be God's will no matter what. I t all makes perfect sense when you understand that there is no real God, and that it is all an invention in their minds to make them look important.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/22/2020 09:15AM by slskipper.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 11:51AM

I guess it is a way to protect themselves. They need to be around people to make a living. But if they could they would not bother?

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 10:29AM

If you have boils go to the doctor. The Bible won't cure you.

Could just be God and Satan having fun with you though in which case until you thank God for the trial they aren't going away.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 11:55AM

Why do people keep doing this stuff?

If christianity is based on a idea that people is flawed by nature why do they go around talking about stuff they do not believe in?

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:01PM

My experience is that doing things is exhausting. If people do not mean what they say how on earth do they have the endurance to create their earthly Kingdoms of nonsense? Money, ok, that would be a reason, but how self-humiliating.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 10:45AM

Just looking for a way to belong. Find a place where I sense that I am doing something right. That there is a truth, that there is a value in doing a duty. If humanity is the measure for everything it seems to me that.. I Do not know.

Miss the days when I was a kid. People was stuck with their cars in snow drifts. We pushed the cars, helped each other out. Helped them get back on the road. I remember how happy I was, it gave me butterflies in the stomach back then. Felt we all were doing something great.

Today it is like everything just get worse. I hope there will be something good happening but it never does. It is like everything is a trauma. Family tree messed up. Abusers and drugs.

The priests I chat with from time to time do not seem to understand what I am talking about. They seem not to see the difference between emotional abuse of loving someone.

I am not depressed but a bit lost.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 11:05AM

Quit looking to an old book and . . .


Make some one else feel like they belong.

Do the right thing--you already know what it is without some old book telling you. It is 2020 and you are an adult. Just do it.

Of course there is truth. It's everywhere. Just got some other stuff stuck to it like preconceived notions.

Don't do a duty, but show honest caring from the heart. Reciprocity.

Humanity is not the measure of anything except people can't stop having babies. 8 Billion people on the planet and humanity still can't get it together.

The religious are the last to understand anything. Of course the priests don't understand, cuz, again . . . preconceived notions.

You long for the wonderful past. This moment can be that someday.


The bible does not make a great manual for life. Drop that notion.


(This was me being a know it all please pardon. Best to you.)

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 11:46AM

Dear Done & Done. Thank you for your sincere reply.

First. I have autism.

1) Preconceived notions. That is something to talk about.

2) Literal understanding. That is my way of decoding what people say.

This do not mix so well

I think that people mean what they say. But that is not the truth I understand that from time to time but always forget.

There is a longing to find a place where I belong. That I will find myself in a place where I am safe. Where people mean what they say. Because this is living nightmare. It does not get any better. I think the world is weird place.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:22PM

Finding the place you belong. I have always called it finding "my people." I hope you do. Even more, I hope that lasts. Always hit and miss for me.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 02:00PM

I also hope. A better future.

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Posted by: kentish ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:12PM

Cauda, I believe that people have not changed. Most people are still willing and wanting to be good neighbors. Acts of kindness and willingness to assist are still there in our neighborhoods and the world in general if we take the time to see. Your posts have been puzzling at times but I think you will see the good part of this board now that you have given a glimpse of yourself not seen before.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:14PM

Dear kentish

It is christmas. I must be honest once for a while. It is awful. Thing aint getting any better. It is a confusing life.

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Posted by: kentish ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:18PM

Cauda, I think it is very hard to see light when only darkness seems to be all around but I would encourage you to seek out the good and bright things in your life. I believe they are there and as a fellow believer I offer you encouragement. Christmas can be a difficult time for many but within your faith there is hope and there is light for something better.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:26PM

Thank you kentish. It feels better to know. I have been unbalanced lately. Irrational. Christmas activate memories and traumas.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:51PM

Cauda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Christmas activate memories and traumas.

Yes, and for many more of us than I think you probably realize.

When I was growing up, Christmases were some of the most traumatic experiences of my life, no matter HOW genuinely hard I tried to not be a center of everyone else's anger--and those wounds still exist. [*]

When I was going through my conversion to Judaism classes, a number of people in our class were going through their own traumas vis-a-vis Christmases still in their futures, when they would be Jews.

For me, it was: "Yipee!!!!! Once I am [by Jewish law] a Jew, I don't ever have to "do" Christmas EVER AGAIN!!!!! Yahoo!!!!"

[*I did not learn the answer to why Christmases were just about always so terribly awful in my family, and why the "fault" continually cited was always ME, until decades later. Turns out, I am the biological child of my uncle, rather than his brother, the person who was married to my mother.

So there WAS a reason why I was ALWAYS the family "bad guy" at Christmas, even though every year I tried my very utmost to be the good child they always said they wanted.]

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:58PM

Tevai. Thank you for sharing your story. You must have had a hard time for years. On many levels. Making choices, changes, standing up for yourself.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 02:06PM

Cauda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tevai. Thank you for sharing your story. You must
> have had a hard time for years. On many levels.
> Making choices, changes, standing up for yourself.

Yes.

Thank you, Cauda.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:27PM

Cauda, I think you need to make an effort to seek out people who treat you kindly, and to avoid (as much as possible,) those who do not. Your relatives may or may not treat you kindly. Just being related to someone does not mean that they are a good person.

Also, the people in your life may have very little understanding of autism.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:40PM

Dear summer

This christmas I will not miss most of the people on the family tree. It is the first christmas ever. Have not talked to any of them since the month of june. Our communication broke down. To much double standards. I did not get them and they probably did not get me.

My parents? No problem.

I am in a process to make sense of the world. Not depressed but a bit lost.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 12:42PM

I'm glad that you are close to your parents. What is it about your world that depresses or confuses you?

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:05PM

Discovered family systems theory. Identified my role. Did not see it relevant. To old to be told how think and feel. Did not identify with some of the values. Emotional abuse and addiction. Lots of ”do not talk about it”.

Made some constructive changes to my life. Ended up in a double bind situation.

Constructive way = bye bye, we will say bad things about you because it was you choice, you are a traitor

Destructive way = you are one of us but we call the shots and treat you like child

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Posted by: josephssmmyth ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 02:10PM

Cauda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> ..Made some constructive changes to my life. Ended
> up in a double bind situation.
>
> Constructive way = bye bye, we will say bad things
> about you because it was you choice, you are a
> traitor
>
> Destructive way = you are one of us but we call
> the shots and treat you like child

Those two things apply almost perfectly to many recovering LDS folks, very glad to hear you've made progress with some constructive changes in your immediate life.

Being at least partway on the spectrum is tough alright, you're going to always seek out a perfect arena of your life. Almost as if it could be maybe an area that you almost fully control but most of life is most likely more messy, juicy and unpredictable at times.

Do what I do if you'd like. Some days I wake up in a humorous mood saying to myself, today I'll get going just to see what's gonna happen. I have my planned and routinely predictable course but more often than not something changes. It's the change, the lost expectations that maybe seems a bit bothersome. Try and remember with a little less expectations comes less disappointed feelings.

We maybe sought out a lot of end of the day comfort and satisfaction from being LDS and had a somewhat great group of acquaintances to engage with. Our trainings and overall personality may have deeply imbedded us with seeking out that same end of the day (LDS brand) satisfaction and mormonisque comfort.
How we (in recovery) recognize the deep seated and perhaps the instilled need to gather and own a comfort like that we may have experienced in the past is important, and pretty much remains a powerful driver.

Finishing my various lists of tasks can only carry me so far. Believing in a faith based system with conscious awareness is important to me. After mormo-ism I once needed to unplug for a while and was probably extremely reluctant to listen to almost anyone. I was too bruised and raw with feelings to even consider it. Later on I chose a belief system that was absent of (FGS) for motivation and it was radical, and scary and new and different. It was Lutheran based nondenominational Christ centered as a journey.

It's probably the artsy side of my life.
It took a few special persons to help me pull off the move successfully, Jim Deftmer was one who I liked and seemed on fire for changes just like that, as a youth counselor.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 03:13PM

>>To old to be told how think and feel. Did not identify with some of the values. Emotional abuse and addiction. Lots of ”do not talk about it”.

Then leave those people behind, at least for now. They have their own problems to solve.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:39PM

job's "friends" were assoles ~




thats obvious from the text ~




¿ ~ whats this thred about ? ~

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 01:55PM

Tried to web chat with a Lutheran priest some days ago. The priest was not kind. Was angry on my self because I do the same mistake from time to time. Always forgetting.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 03:15PM

Is this a priest that you already know? Or just some random stranger?

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 05:19AM

Random.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 02:28PM

Maybe all of Job’s friends were Mormons

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 02:19PM

Boy did I get this one wrong!!!
I thought you meant comfort on the job/work and I didn't need comfort there

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 05:14PM

I don’t think comfort women are compatible with the work environment.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: December 22, 2020 05:25PM

They're not compatible with the concept of consent. IOW, they were raped.

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Posted by: Cauda ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 04:42AM

I get it now.

Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar.

They hade assumptions about God.

Doctrines.

In an abstract sense they were right but not in a concrete sense.

Their truths did not give comfort to Job because they did not know the circumstances in his situation.

So every truth they told were salt into open wounds.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 11:20AM

Cauda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did you encounter any Job Comforters on your low downs? People that put salt in your wounds. >

No but I like Jim Hightower's 'Lowdown'. I also like Sault, the band. But, as far as comforts, I'm uncomfortable with comforters... unless they're down- then I'm down.

> The comforters intrigue me because they are like guardians keeping people from making their own minds up about things that are wrong in a religious group. >

Never heard of such
Guardians? Bastards (Southpark)

They aren't comforters, but liars, lost souls, and fools, ar best.

Guardians?
《no》

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 03:31PM

So it is bible Job (big J)

not employment job ( little j)
I was confused

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