Posted by:
Schopenhauer's Coat
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Date: January 07, 2021 05:46AM
Could Joseph Smith see leprechauns? This idea was strongly contested until Ugo Perego discovered Smith's M22 gene marker. Previously it had been thought that Smith was of English stock, which would make him leprechaun-blind, but Perego presented clear evidence that Smith had ancestry from the Emerald Isle, and was moreover a direct descendant of Niall of the Nine Hostages along with millions of other Irish culchies. So while Oul Joseph was five millionth in line to the abandoned Irish throne, his Irish ancestry did give him the ability to see leprechauns. [This paragraph contains chiasmus. - Ed.]
Smith was very good with his pendulum and rocks according to several witnesses. He would swing them back and forth until he detected the woman he wanted. Neverthelessnotwithstanding, this had taken a lot of work, and indeed the adolescent Joe spent much time playing with his pendulum out in woods before finding a crock of gold on Hill Cumorah.
Joseph was after finding the gold, begorra, when he encountered Moro O' Nighy, one of the aforementioned little people or Knee Heights. Moro said that Oul Joe could keep the gold for a season, but on one condition, "since thou hast uncovered me lucky charms, thence thou must tithe unto me, one ton o' gold each year until da crack o' doom." Ever since then the LDS has remained committed to that goal, and Moro O' Nighy was able to save enough money for a first class berth back to Ireland. However, as we all know, leprechauns are attracted to rainbows and thst is why you'll never see a rainbow flag in a Mormon chapel.